HomeAdviceMy Husband's Infidelity Drove Me To Depression And Old Habits-Pls Advise

My Husband’s Infidelity Drove Me To Depression And Old Habits-Pls Advise

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My Husband’s Infidelity Drove Me To Depression And Old Habits-Pls Advise

Hello, ma,

I really don’t know what to do. I am not sure if sharing my story will help but I need your advice. I got introduced to lesbianism while I was in secondary school many years ago. My girlfriend was my best friend and we had a secret relationship until university days. We became afraid of being caught and decided to end things.

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Since then, I have only been with men. I have been married for 9 years now. With three children. Our marriage is cool and everything is going on fine until about four years ago, my husband cheated on me with a colleague. It was the most devastating blow. I knew he was cheating but he kept denying it until I cloned his phone and saw all their conversations.

I confronted my husband with the evidence and he kept denying his phone was hacked. But I was able to give evidence that I followed them to their secret hideouts, he began to plead and promise not to do it anymore. Since that time, I found it hard to see my husband as the same loving man that married me.

I gradually began to fall into depression and found out that I was seeking out attention from old memories of me being with a female. I started to think men were truly scum for cheating on their beautiful wives.

A year after, my school girlfriend who is now married, contacted me on Facebook. She invited me to her father’s burial ceremony in Ibom. I became unusually excited. I was able to convince my husband that I wanted to go be there for my friend during her time of grief. I traveled to Ibom and my friend was very very happy to see me.

We caught up on old times as we participated in all the ceremonies. It was clear that we still had a bond. And that was how we resumed our relationship again. I know some people will say being a les is bad but being with my friend is the most peaceful time of my life. Being with a fellow woman who understands how you feel is so beautiful.

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This has been my secret for almost a year now until my friend’s husband discovered our affair. He is a bad man because he began to threaten to expose us except I sleep with him. I refused of course and decided to cut off the relationship before things got out of hand but this man was able to track me and send a message that he will expose me to my husband unless I let him.

I went back to my friend and begged her to speak to her husband to change his mind. My friend was like, its no big deal, that I should let him so that our secret can remain a secret. I am afraid that this arrangement will backfire. Sleeping with a fellow woman is dangerous enough but with her husband is like setting myself on fire.

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I am no saint, I shouldn’t have gone back to having a lesbian relationship but I was feeling so alone and sad since my husband cheated on me. In fact, I blamed him for pushing me back to my old bad habits. But what I did not bargain for was being blackmailed by the husband of the woman that I was having an affair with. Maybe they even set me up.

Almost every day, the man keeps reminding me to make up my mind before he exposes me to the whole world. He and his wife lack shame and they will shame me if I don’t do something. Telling my husband is out of the question. Agreeing to sleep with the man is out of the equation. Now, what am I supposed to do with their threats?

Should I ignore them or what can I do? I am really frightened that I will soon be exposed and I cannot bear the thought of that. My family will be destroyed. My husband may even take my children away from me, it seems my only choice is to yield to this threat or blackmail.

If you were in my shoes, what will you do?

Anonymous

 

Photo Credit:Claritychi

 

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My Husband's Infidelity Drove Me To Depression And Old Habits-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

8 COMMENTS

  1. Simply ignore them. Is better to sleep with a fellow woman than a man. So to cut the story short and shame them before the unthinkable happens do tell your husband and ask him to forgive you. Don’t ever give in to their demand. Doing so will be your greatest undoing.

  2. Thank God you didnt fall for their trick…Don’t even listen to their blackmail..if you yield they will keep blackmailing you and eventually destroy your home..if they really don’t have shame let them go ahead..
    I think you should tell your husband..I believe he will forgive you..it wasn’t intentional you did that as a result of what happened when he cheated on you..
    See my dear even if they decide to carry out their threats your joy will still be you did not sleep and mess up with your friend’s shameless husband..
    If they decide to tell the whole world like they have threatened it won’t be forever..every accusation and rumors will only fly for a short period of time and people will go for something new..you were not the first and you won’t be the last..I wish you the best of luck.

    • I support your comment,it is not gonna be easy but it is gonna be the best decision ever.Open up to your husband, apologise and accept whatever consequences that comes with it.Yourfriend and her husband blackmail you.Dont fall for their tricks

  3. Have you asked yourself how long you will continue sleeping with him?Or do you think you will only let him sleep with you just once, that’s impossible. As long as I am concerned those are empty threats from the pit of hell,as long as there are no pictures of evidence to prove that you did it,simply deny it just the way your husband denied the affair with his colleague now. Deny it,tell the world that it was a set up,that you only went to help an old time friend finish ooo,I trust myself, if na me ehhhh,I go deny it like when Peter deny Jesus,what nonsense? Husband and wife with no shame,awon radarada. My dear don’t be depressed okay, just make sure you do not revisit your old habits. Tell your husband everything and God will take control. God bless you nne

  4. The moment you say yes to that blackmail you are in it till thy kingdom come. So brace yourself for the afterfall if you can withstand it with a bold face or just break it down for your hubby. God help you.

  5. Biko sit, watch and pray, have peace at the moment and ignore their useless threats, anything that want to happen should happen, if you don’t have the mind to tell your husband dont, just watch how everything will unfolds, if they tell him and he confronts you about it, tell him the whole truth… Let things unfold in their own way, but don’t sleep with that he-goat, if things unfolds like this it will be easier to handle than when it does after you have slept with the husband of the she-goat.. So just relax your mind and ask God for forgiveness and live like it never happened……

  6. Repent of your sin and ask God for forgiveness from the debt your heart. Depart wholly from iniquity. Hand those lots to God’s hands and see what he can do. Go and sin no more!

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