My Dream Of A Happy Marriage Has Just Been Cut Down Before It Started
I have been betrayed and I really need to talk to you before I do anything stupid. I met this guy (Jude, not real name)two years ago. He was a casual worker in a factory. Even as a graduate, he didn’t get a good job but he humbled himself to do casual jobs because he did not want to be a burden. Jude is a sweet soul. Very kind and very warm to everyone around him, always willing to help.
When I met him, I was a bad relationship and when my foolish boyfriend broke up with me, Jude became my confidant and support friend. He told me four months later that he has feelings for me and I did not think twice cos I liked him a lot. He was insecure because he was a casual worker earning 55k while I work in a corporate office with a higher salary.
Money was never the basis for our relationship. We were just two happy kids in love. But Jude was later played off. It was a very difficult time for him cos he is the firstborn son and he was sending money home to his family.I quickly stepped in and I began to give him 25k out of my salary for him to manage until he gets a new job.
Along the line, Jude received a call from his former boss, (they are from the same hometown) to come and help him supervise his mansion that he is building in their town. Jude read civil engineering. He promised to pay him for the time he would be staying in their home town. Well, since Jude was not working, we both agreed he should go and do the supervision.
And that is how Jude travelled to the home town. I didn’t,t see him except once a month. Being in construction, we only spoke when he was not so busy. I missed him alot but I knew he needed a job,no matter how small. I was still sending him the 25k even though he said I should not bother but I just wanted my man to be comfortable.
This was how we were for almost 14 months. While there, I never had a reason to doubt Jude was unfaithful. We were still very much in communication. He successfully completed the building and the former boss was so happy with him and gifted him 500k. Jude returned to Lagos and before long, he got a good job and we decided to get married. We started planning our wedding. We have done an introduction.
The proper wedding is in August. Only for a lady to call me to tell me that she is from Jude’s hometown. That she has just put to bed a baby. That she heard Jude is getting married to me but that they were in a relationship for one year and Jude is aware that she got pregnant and promised to take care of her, marry her when he gets a good job.
The girl should not be anything below 23. She said Jude never mentioned he had a girlfriend, not to talk of planning to marry me. That she was made to believe that he was in love with her and that is why she kept her baby. She showed me bank alerts of 20k every month that Jude was sending her money.
I could not believe my ears and eyes. I confronted Jude and he denied everything until I showed him the text messages,charts and pictures the girl had sent to me. Ma, I have never felt so betrayed and blindsided. Jude says he made a mistake but from what I saw, they had a full relationship. Jude says everything was a mistake, that he does not want to lose me.
Ma, this is paining me because I know how much I love Jude, how much I invested in him to get to where he is right now. This betrayal is a huge blow to me. I really do not know how to forgive and forget. I love Jude but there is a child outside now who will forever be tied to him. How do I even still love or marry him after this?
Another major thing is that Jude’s mother seems to like the girl more than me because she is from their hometown while I am Yoruba. Jude though says no one can determine who he marries but his mother has accepted that girl and I hear that she goes to spend time in his mother’s house.
I am struggling with what decision to make. I have always dreamt of a very happy marriage with Jude cos Jude is the best man I know. He never gave me any reason to doubt him.I could have sworn that I trusted him with my life. But now, it appears there is no such thing as a faithful man if a man as good as Jude can do this to me. Please help me.
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