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My Husband Is Against Abortion For Me To Chase My Dreams-Pls Advise

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My Husband Is Against Abortion For Me To Chase My Dreams-Pls Advise

Hello, ma,

Please advise me. My name is Jasmine (not my real name). I am 24 years old. I am married with a seven-month-old baby. Before I met my husband, I have a child that is 5 years old because I got pregnant with a movie director when I was 18 years old. I thought I was in love but clearly, he was only using me.

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I am an upcoming actress and a model. I love my chosen profession. And by God’s grace, I want to be the highest-paid if not one of the highest-paid actresses/model in this country one day. When I met my husband, I told him my dreams and he was willing to support my dreams.

One of the things I told him was that I only wanted one child when I married because I wanted to focus on my career. He said we can have two children but we will give them space so that it won’t affect my career. I agreed. So, after getting married, my first child moved in with us. I got pregnant because my husband refused to use a condom.

It was fine. I reminded him that this child would be the only child we will have or wait at least 5 years before another child. Getting pregnant in this industry, you lose time in getting acting and modelling jobs and I really know that the earlier I work hard to be known in the industry, the better for me.

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No one wants to hire someone who is always getting pregnant and you know with pregnancy, comes weight. If I don’t look hot, who will hire me for a movie role or modelling job? So, I gave birth to a baby girl. Before long, my husband started disturbing me for s*x. I asked him to use a condom, he said no need, that I will not get pregnant cos I am still breastfeeding.

That is how I got pregnant with a seven-month-old baby. I am not even mentally ready to have another baby. My baby with my five-year-old son is enough work for me. And I need to get back in shape to go back to work. I was really very upset when I found out I was pregnant. I told my husband and he smiled and said it’s God’s plan.

I feel like he deliberately has been trying to get me pregnant. I regret not taking any contraceptive because I also believed that nonsense that a breastfeeding mother cannot get pregnant. So, I told him, I am not ready, so I am removing the pregnancy.

My husband got very upset with me for saying I would terminate the pregnancy. He said I dare not. I was like, but we had an agreement. He said it’s God’s will for us to have that baby now. I refused to be persuaded, so I told him no. That it’s not going to happen, that I would take it out before it’s formed.

My husband said if I do, that means I have disobeyed him and that means, my career is more important than our marriage. He said that God is against abortion (but he once told me that abortion is okay as long as both parties are not ready). My husband is being ridiculous cos told him, no, I cannot have this baby now.

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The next thing he said was: what is so special about being an actress or a model. That the profession is for prostitutes and that is why I don’t want to have any more babies,so I can go back quickly and do as I like, by sleeping with directors or producers to get roles.  I felt hurt by his words because you know, that is how I got pregnant with my first child.

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He used my past to hurt me. I told him to go to hell. I am not a prostitute and I will not be made to feel like one in my own house. Since then, both of us have not been speaking to each other.He said if I take out the baby, then he wants a divorce. I will never have been with a man who never supported my plans in the first place.

I think my husband has just shown his true self. That he will not support my career or dreams. Will I now be forced to choose his way and lose my dreams? Before I met him, I was doing well financially. I do not need his money. So, I am thinking, if this is how this man is going to be, maybe it’s time to walk away.

I love him, yes but he cannot stop me from being who God has destined for me to be. I didn’t say no more children, I only said, later. I am only 24 years for goodness sake. Why do I have to sacrifice my dreams to please a man? If I have this baby,by the time I give birth, my daughter will just be less than two years old. But I will be 27 years old, will have lost 3-4 years of my life when I could be building a career.

Why cant my husband see that we are not ready? I tried to speak to his sister to talk to him as a woman. That one is against abortion. All of a sudden, they have become over righteous. I am so angry and tired. I am not one to depend on a man. I need my life back. I love my husband but this man has suddenly changed from the supporting husband that he is, to become a controlling freak.

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Please advise me before it’s too late. I feel this is a red flag. Anyone asking me to obey him does not want me to live my dreams. I gained so much weight from this last pregnancy. Yet, I am pregnant again. No, this is too much to ask me. How do I convince him to let me have my dreams? Is that even possible anymore? Is this my chance to walk away? Please advise.

Anonymous

Photo Credit:urban

 

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My Husband Is Against Abortion For Me To Chase My Dreams-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. i think you should take it easy on yourself , BeautifuL. see children as a gift and seasonal too. youre not having children for a man/husband, youre rather sowing into your future. pls give yourself 5 years of raising these gifts, concentrate on them and enjoy these phase of your life. Because, its truly a phase that in years time you ll either remember and love your roles or regret . career will wait, and i promise you, you ll be just in time then, time these children can stand on their own. please dont take what hubby is sayin or doing seriously, hes just being edgy cos you appear desperate too. focus on the children, stay on low key for now, at the appropiate time you ll be lifted.

  2. You know men will always promise heaven and earth, especially when they are trying to get a woman. You have to give birth to the baby and go for family planning, you still have many more years to invest in your career, okay. Please take it easy and do not think of divorce. God bless you

  3. If you had pictured all these things you just mentioned, you shouldn’t have gotten married. You would have pursued your career to a certain age before thinking about marriage.
    Marriage comes with a lot of sacrifices that we must pay. It’s not rosy anywhere as you think.
    There is nothing like a red flag here cause you are already in the marriage.
    And to add your marriage too early to start thinking about divorce don’t join the crew divorce actors and actresses, because I haven’t seen any genuine reason for a divorce.
    Take a chill pill, relax and enjoy your marriage.

  4. If really you want to build your career in acting and modeling,you would have waited for some time before getting married!! To me,I feel you rushed into marriage knowing that you have great plans ahead of you.

  5. What GOD has destined for you can not be frustrated by any. In other words, it will certainly come to pass at God’s time.
    If you decide to terminate this pregnancy and never succeed with your dream, then you have lost in both sides.
    Your husband is right about having that child because your dreams in life requires the grace of GOD and not man. Which implies that, it’s either you commit some immoralities to get a lead role or the grace of GOD at work.
    Mercy Johnson has 4 kids and still in shape, so madam, have your baby and hit the gym.

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