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My Husband Wants Me To Choose Between My Newfound Faith And Our Marriage-Pls Advise


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My Husband Wants Me To Choose Between My Newfound Faith And Our Marriage-Pls Advise

I want the house to help me pray for my marriage. I am seriously overwhelmed and very discouraged. When I met my husband, he and I loved the same kind of lifestyle. We are extroverts. We party hard and do a lot of drinking, smoking, and clubbing. We dated for five years and we got married six years ago.

The issue is that, after we got married, I had been trying to get pregnant but it’s was not happening. We did all kinds of tests. Eventually, I was diagnosed with a leaking womb. My womb was slightly damaged by an abortion I had years ago. That made me really feel bad for my past lifestyle.

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I decided to give my heart to Christ. I got saved. I stopped drinking, smoking and clubbing. My husband laughed at me and called me a freak. That he does not believe in religion. Which I understand because even me too,I did not believe until recently. So, I have been praying for him as I was advised.

However, it’s getting harder in my marriage cos my husband is upset that I do not do the things I used to do before. He hates that I tell him to quit the bad lifestyle too. And he says I have been brainwashed. I know he is an unbeliever so it will be difficult for him to understand my newfound faith but how he is treating me is really very painful.

He will go out clubbing as usual and do the usual, drink, smoke and now, he has started being unfaithful. He says I am no longer the woman he married. That I am boring because I don’t do the things I used to do with him. When he is talking dirty, I tell him I cannot do that anymore.

Ma, when I was dating him, we had a threesome. It’s not something I am proud of. But we didn’t do it again. Now, my husband is saying I am too boring and he wants to have a threesome. I told him it’s not happening. Fine, let him be doing all the dirty things he is doing but I will not be involved with him. I am sure he went ahead to have the threesome outside.

He talks bad about church, pastors and says they are deceiving me. He practically makes me feel so bad especially when I am in fasting and prayer mood. I get encouragement from my Christian family but no one knows exactly how tough it is, to live with such a man. But I have decided to be patient no matter what happens.

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And God answered my prayers. I got pregnant. I hoped that would change my husband but it didn’t. He was a great husband to me but still lived very wildly. I gave birth to a baby girl to the glory of God. As I said, that didn’t change my husband, in fact, my husband decided to push my patience to its limits.

My husband got his secretary pregnant. I found out when I woke up one night and heard my husband arguing with the girl on the phone. She was asking for 1M to get rid of the pregnancy or she will tell me. I almost died that night from the pain of betrayal. I got saved but I have lost my husband.

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My husband blames me for his lifestyle. That I got married to God and abandoned him. He has said he cannot continue this way. That he is not saying I should not serve God but that I should come back to my old self. He then asked me what to do with the pregnancy: I told him to make sure she got rid of it.

Now, I feel so bad that I encouraged someone to get an abortion. I feel it’s a sin especially cos I almost lost my womb doing that years ago. But how do I live knowing another woman is pregnant for my husband and will have his baby? How long will my husband keep living like this? I have prayed for him for over 4 years now. I am tired.

Maybe I need to take my child and leave this man. This is not the kind of environment I want my child to grow up in. He says he no longer finds me attractive since I became a churchwoman. It’s either I do what he likes or this will be our life. I am tired. I have no desire to continue to live like this. Please what do I do?




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My Husband Wants Me To Choose Between My Newfound Faith And Our Marriage-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You have to continue praying for him till he changes,just like the way you also changed and turned to God I believe that someday he will also change. Keep praying for him ,remember it is for better or best. I know it is not easy but you have to keep encouraging him and talking to him about Christ,okay. You can’t divorce now,it is just to early,and you can’t separate from him. For the sake of your child please keep talking to him unless he beats you then I will advise you leave as soon as possible for the sake of your life ,baby and your sanity. God bless you nne,the Lord is your strength

  2. You should talk to your pastor ohh. I guess they would have the best advice. But find ways to make your home spicy again without committing sin.

  3. Continue to pray for your husband. Don’t give up too soon on him. He is your darling husband, you have been coming along together fine….. for some years now until this issue of Faith came. This is the period you actually need to prove your true love for him in your new found faith.

    Keep on praying for him……ask some honest and sincere Christian friends to join you in prayers and wait on the Lord more……You will see His Salvation and deliverance upon your husband and great change in your family.

    Allow his secretary give birth to her baby and let your husband take the responsibility of the child.

    Let God rules in your heart and allow Him to have His Way in your home. Everything will fall through in the right place.

    May His Peace abide with you.


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