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How I Lost The Love Of My Life With A Deep Secret-Pls Advise


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How I Lost The Love Of My Life With A Deep Secret-Pls Advise

I truly believe that you only get one love of your life in your lifetime. The love of my life was Eunice(not her real name) We started dating as teenagers from SS2. We kept our relationship a secret because she is from a religious home, her father is a pastor and would never approve of his daughter dating at that age.

But my parents knew I liked Eunice. We became official when we both were in 300level in the university. Eunice is smart and I not so much. Eunice even helped me prepare for most of my exams while we were in school. She was a good girl. She wanted to remain a virgin till marriage and I wanted to be her husband as soon as we finish university.

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However, in 400 level, Eunice suddenly disappeared from my life. Her parents withdrew her from her university and said she had gotten a scholarship to study in Ghana. Eunice never mentioned any such thing to me. And that she would leave me without saying a word is the strangest.

I remember I kept begging her parents to tell me why she left and give me her new contact details but they all refused. I was heartbroken that I almost did not graduate. I knew something was wrong because I was so sure Eunice was forced to leave Nigeria.I feared that her parents did not want me to marry her because that was our plan, to be married immediately after school.

I begged the mother to please tell me what I had done wrong but she only kept saying, don’t worry; Eunice has taken a different part and that I should find my path aside from her. Eunice’s siblings were suddenly not permitted to speak to any member of my family. All that was six years ago.

Since then, I have been in two relationships. I am now engaged to the second lady. But there has never been a day that my mind does not wander where Eunice is and why she left me without a word. But destiny cannot be denied. Two months ago, I ran into a childhood friend of me and Eunice at the airport. She was flying to Abuja and so we boarded and bonded on the flight.

This lady asked me if I had seen Eunice and I told her no. She then told me that she met Eunice in Ghana a year ago and that Eunice is now a doctor. I was thrilled to hear that. I asked her if she has her number and she said yes. She gave me Eunice’s number and I could not wait to land to call her.

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When I called Eunice, my heart missed several beats when she picked up and said hello. Soon as she heard my name and my voice. She cut off the line and switched off the phone. I became really confused. Did anyone threaten Eunice not to speak to me? I had to get her address from that childhood friend of ours and from Abuja, I took a flight to Ghana.

With some difficulty,I traced Eunice to where the hospital she works and I was referred to her office. When I walked into her office, Eunice looked at me like she saw a ghost. You can imagine the panic in her eyes. I told her I was not going to leave until she told me what happened to her, why did she disappear into thin air?

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Eunice asked me to leave her office but I told her no. She then asked me to meet her at a hotel address that evening. I went there to wait for her and she arrived there around 6.25 pm that evening. Eunice never looked so pretty in my eyes as she did that day. My heart was crying. Eunice sat down and began to cry and all I could do was get up and embrace her, assuring her that all will be alright.

Eunice looked at me ad said: no, all will never be alright. I asked why? She said because her life is over because she could never be with me. I, again asked why? And Eunice dropped the bombshell. Three months before she disappeared years ago, she came to my house to look for me and I was not at home.

As she turned to leave, my father asked her to go help him get panadol and some ointment at the pharmacy because he was having a headache and there was no one around to help him buy it. Eunice got the items and when she returned, my father asked her to help him apply the ointment on his back cos he was in a lot of pain and Eunice did so.

Long story short, my father locked the door and raped Eunice. He then threatened her if she told anyone. Eunice never told anyone until she found out two months later that she had become pregnant by my father. Her parents who were pastors were totally against divorce. So, they made my father pay for Eunice to quickly relocate to Ghana where she had her child.

My mother was not made aware. All this while, I was crying and Eunice was crying. I felt responsible for her pain cos she came to see me and my father took away her virginity,got her pregnant and sent her away from family and friends. That night, I followed her home and saw the boy she had for my dad. She narrated how horrible she felts for several years in a new country without friends and family.

I knew God had mercy on me and helped me find Eunice before I got married to my fiancee. I knew Eunice is my life. I stayed in Ghana for a few more days before I left. At home, I confronted my dad and all he did was say: it was the devil and I am sorry son. I told him to go to hell as he is no longer my father.

Now, I want nothing more than to marry Eunice. She is my one true love. The love of my youth. We both, have never been so happy since we reunited. But my father is refusing our marriage saying it will be disrespectful to my mother if I married the woman who had an illegitimate son for him. I told him that is his business.

Also, Eunice’s parents are against our union. Everyone is saying to forget about marrying Eunice because of my mother. That it would be a betrayal if she found out. Well, I don’t think so. She is not aware and she should not be made aware. I will keep that secret to my grave and nothing can stop me from marrying Eunice. Eunice asked me to place our story on lively stones for advice before we damn every consequence and get married and be happy?

Why will it be so wrong to finally be with the love of my life? It’s not fair to punish us when we are not the ones who strayed or betrayed my mother. My mother needs not be aware. How is this a selfish move? I need to be happy and so does Eunice. being apart has been the saddest days of our lives and we want nothing more than to avoid losing each other again.

How can anyone tell us to move on and forget that we both are meant to be .Please advise?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Pls leave Eunice, you have a fiancee, I’m sure you must have told her you love her and all those love talks now you want to drop her cos you found eunice, that’s wicked of you i must say, if it were done to you, you will say ladies are this and that, but that’s what you are planning to to. I wonder why you are asking what should you do, when you already know exactly what you will do. GOD bless you

  2. Honestly your story is disheartening but there is absolutely nothing wrong in marring the lady. You never asked your father to what he did and I see nothing wrong with that.

  3. Carry on with your plans to marry Eunice,your both parent has lived their lives already, refused to live a sad life because of your dad selfish interest, already you can relocate to GH and forget all this horror back here for your father case close go on with your plans.

  4. Fight for your love. Your shameless father is even referring to the boy as illegitimate, arhh! You can marry with witnesses not necessarily consent from parents. Her parents will come around later. As for your mum, it’s the duty of your father to inform her not yours.

    • How about the guy in question, is any of these his fault?
      If the guy should consider his mothrr’s feelings then the mother too should consider her son’s happiness.
      The anger should be on the he-goat of her husband

  5. Your dad is in deed shameless and very selfish. How does he manage to sleep through each night after commiting such a devilish act. A girl he knew too well you had lifetime plans with. I must say, you’re strong enough to even hold a conversation with him. Left to me, I would have told my mum to get back at him or even do worse than that. Anyway, proceed with your plans jor. You have my blessings. Don’t marry whoever you’re engaged to because clearly you’re not in love with her. A broken engagement is better than a failed marriage. Relocate to Ghana if you feel like. You guys can get a ew place to avoid being tracked down by her family. You both deserve happiness and don’t let anyone try to convince otherwise. All the best.

  6. Your dad needs to be jailed! And your mum should know, its not like your girlfriend was dating or seduced your dad, she has no fault here so does the child she had, if i were your your mum i will be soo mad when i get to find out you kept such from me… She should know and let your dad face the consequences of his actions.. He still has mouth to talk and refuse to give his nonsense consent…. What rubbish!

    Keeping this a secret is how we keep aiding and abetting rubbish in society…
    As for your mum let her know, she will be fine, God will see to that.

  7. You have to marry Eunice because if you end up marrying someone else,you won’t be happy in the marriage and you will always sneak out of your marriage to see Eunice which will be very bad of you.
    Your mum has to know,how long do you think you will hide such from your mum,remember one day she will get to know and the consequences will be crazy. Forgive your dad and move on,live very faraway with your wife Eunice ,do not live in the same state where your dad lives. It is well with you bro,may the Lord strengthen you in all of these. Ihe nka owunu rice bikonu, chaiii odikwa egwo oooo,ihe ne me

  8. Your dad need to be castrated and jailed for life.
    Your Mom should know… Everyone bears the trauma while time heals all and leave you both in eternal Peace on earth.

  9. Nawaoo!! This is really heartbreaking. How can your dad keep such secret all these while and live as if nothing happened. Did he even for once stop to think the extent of the damage he could have done to that innocent lady? He’s very selfish. He hv to tell your mom(his wife) himself, if not, you help him. This kind of experience is even enough to send someone into depression. I don’t seem to understand why parents will decide to hide such crimes just to protect their image and reputation without considering the effect on the children.
    Please, if two of you are sure that you are happy being together, go ahead and marry her. Commit your marriage into God’s hands.
    Your dad needs to seek forgiveness from your mom and Eunice as well, he should not think that the matter will be swept under the carpet just like that.
    Soo annoying.

  10. What if the child grows up and find out that his step father is his step brother
    What kind of relationship will that be
    Nobody is talking about the child

  11. My candid advise is that you should move on with your life..it’s very difficult and painful but you just have to accept it as fate..the memories of what happened can’t be erased just like that because each time you look at that child you’ll always remember the evil your father did years back and it’s going to always provoke a reaction which will not be too nice…

    Your mum has the right to know…you can’t be that selfish to hide that from your mother because you want to be happy..my dear is no happiness in what you want to do and your own. form of betrayal is even worse than your father’s..how can you live with that for the rest of your life??

    You can be a part of their life in any other way but not as couples… your father has shamelessly and wickedly destroyed your plans of ever marrying the love of your life..but please find a place in your heart to forgive him.

  12. Hmmmmmmmmmmm!
    A lot of people are wolves in sheep clothing.

    Forever is too long to marry d wrong person, that’s why some people cheat Even after marriage.

    I’ll advice u marry whom you’re in love with, it’s obvious u both can’t get enough of each other and God will bless you two.

    As for your father, sorry to say he’s such a wicked fellow, he needs to first ask your mum and Eunice for forgiveness before God can forgive him if not, he should be ready to face whatever consequences.


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