My Girlfriend Is Either Stupid Or Naïve Or A Liar- I Love Her Still But I Am Also Confused, Pls Advise
I will remain anonymous. I am very upset with my girlfriend. I don’t know if she was just plain stupid or naïve or a liar. I met Sade (not real name) two years ago. I used to have trust issues because the girl I was with, broke up with me and went for an older ,richer guy. He said because I was not ready financially for marriage.
Meeting Sade, I was blown away at her maturity. She seemed like a well brought up girl. She goes to church and loves life as well. At 24, she just completed her NYSC and was working as HR supervisor in a Telecoms company. But she seemed not to be that kind of girl that allowed material things get to her. Her job exposed her to alot of celebrities as well, so she used to tell me about events that her company organized and celebrities that performed.
Right from time, I told her I wanted to marry her but I want to complete my Masters degree. I was already done with one year, I had one more year. I have met her family and she has met mine. Everyone loves her and I have received revelation from my mother’s pastor that she is my wife. She is honest and tells me everything.
So, it beats my mind how she allowed what happened to happen to her and to our relationship. About a month ago, she and her team members went for a concert that their company organized. She told me all that happened and how that she met one of her celebrity crush at the concert. She was sounding like most young girls her age,so I did not think much about it.
However, when she returned from the concert, she did not call me. I tried to call her several times but she did not take my call. I was worried and went to her place. She made useless excuses like she got malaria. I was very concerned, I wanted to take her to hospital but she said she already got drugs. I told her I would come check her everyday but she said no need cos she has an office assignment with a deadline.
I tried to persuade her to take things easy but she told me she is under pressure from her boss so I should give her a week to work on this. Each time I called her, her no went to voice mail. I resisted the urge to go see her everyday cos she already told me she needed to be alone to do her office assignment under the strict deadline that she had.
But one week past and she sent me a text that she is very sorry. That she has betrayed our love and she feels she can no longer be with me. I called her but she refused to pick. I had to go to her place and she told her room mate to lie that she was not around. I had to force myself in. Seeing her, she looked so feeble. Like someone that has been crying.
Long story short, she had s*x with her celebrity crush that she told me about at the concert two weeks ago. She said she was so excited when she told him about her crush on him and he invited her over at his hotel room after the show. She went and things began to go down but she told him she was a virgin and he pretended to be impressed, so he stopped but told her all the sweet things she wanted to hear.
And he later asked her to come see him in his house in Lekki two days after. My girlfriend went to see him and this time was when he had s*x with her. She said she thought she was only making out with him but when he began to push further, she couldn’t resist because he told her he was in love with her. That was why she lied to me that she couldn’t see me for one week. She was seeing him.
However, after sleeping with him, he gave her 100k and since then has not called her back. She feels very stupid and feels like she lost her mind and so cannot explain herself to me. That she does not expect me to forgive her because she knew she kept V for me but she has given it to someone that does not deserve it.
I was speechless for several seconds and when I found my voice. I told her it was over and left. Since then, she did not even try to convince me to forgive her. And that makes me feel she is not actually sorry for what she did but I speak to her room mate every time and she tells me that Sade has not been herself since. That she misses me and does not have the courage to face me.
I really love Sade but how could such a smart girl be so stupid? Her room mate told me that she was not eating and very ill, I wanted to call her to check on her but Sade did not even pick my call. So, I don’t even know where her heart is really. If she is sorry and wants to make things work, why is she not making an attempt to reach out to me?
Should I be the one to be begging her or what? I told her room mate that if Sade is serious, she should call me and we may talk about it but she said Sade feels she does not deserve to be forgiven and as such, will not call me.
So now, is this pride or is she naïve or is she a liar? Maybe she is not even sorry…cos I don’t know why I should be the one to make the move for reconciliation when clearly, she is the one that is wrong here. And to be frank, how will I ever be able to forget that my virgin bride was deflowered by someone else other than me. Its not like I am marrying her because of her being a virgin but that was something that made me really proud of her. I used to pride her above every other woman but now, trust is broken.
How do we move from her…is this good bye or what? Maybe if she even made an effort…but she says she is afraid, so am I the one to make the effort? This is confusing me. Please advise. I am hurt.
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