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My Friend Is In Love With An Older Divorced Man. Does It Matter? -Pls Advise

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My Friend Is In Love With An Older Divorced Man. Does It Matter? -Pls Advise

Hello ma,

A friend of mine is in need of advise. The situation is like this: She has been in a tight situation and needs advise. Her dad’s friend recently got divorced, like almost two years ago. My friend is a fresh graduate. This her father’s friend has been sleeping with her and she thinks she is in love. This man is 49 years old, her own father is 52.

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It all started when she came back home after final exams. The man was newly divorced. He came to visit her father and when she went to greet him, he congratulated her on her successful graduation and gave her his card to call him if she is looking for a job. My friend said she called him a few later, just cos she was bored staying at home ,she wanted to get a temporary job to do before she gets called up for service year.

So,, this man asked her to come see him in his office. She got there and he was in a meeting, so she waited for several hours. When he came out, he told her that he was rushing for another meeting and so she should ride with him so they can talk about the job. She taught he was referring to interviewing her on the ride, so she agreed.

And while they were in the car, he told her that there was really no vacancy in his company but he was willing to pay her 100k every month just to help her if she can agree to be his special PA. The man has a secretary at work but she was offered a job as his special PA, to hold his phones, handle his social media handles, etc. My friend agreed. He asked her to resume he next day and he kissed her on the cheek before dropping her off at a bustop for her to get a cab. He also sent her 30k that same day.

My friend resumed work next day, she was given official letter, laptop, phone, data.So her job was to handle the man’s calls and so on as discussed. All was good but each time the man gets an opportunity, when no one is watching, he would peck her. My friend was uncomfortable and she tried to ask him to stop and he apologized.

Like 3 weeks later. The man called her to meet him at a business meeting in a five star hotel. She waited for him in the lobby and he invited her to lunch with him after his meeting ended. This man now told her that he is in love with her and would love to marry her but he is afraid she will reject him cos of his age and the fact that her father and him are friends.

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My friend said she saw how sincere he was. So, she told him let them be friends first. This he agreed to. So, she and him became friends and he was good to her. About two months after, they kissed and started to make out. He proposed to her and she happily accepted. The issue now is, both of them know that it will be impossible to convince her father to agree to a marriage.

My friend has been worried about how to tell her father and mother. Even her mother, she does not really like the man because her mother is religious. She believes that any man that is divorced should remain single. So, telling her mother is going to make matters worse. Meanwhile, both of them are serious lovebirds. The man is saying that she should get pregnant, maybe it will leave her father no choice but to allow them marry.

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Please, I told my friend not to get pregnant cos, its not right. Even sleeping with the guy is not right but she says she is in love. My friend is 23 years old. What should I tell her? What should she do please?

Anonymous Friend

 

Photo Credit:ebony

 

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My Friend Is In Love With An Older Divorced Man. Does It Matter? -Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. You said she is on love…no no no,she is list, she knows what to do, but she prefers to be lied to, the man pecking you several times, and you think she didn’t know all along.

    The man told her to get pregnant, that man is wicked and greedy, ladies should learn to be think straight and not be carried away, your friend knows this.

    You said this”My friend said she saw how sincere he was, of cos he will act saintly to deceive you, how on earth do ladies fall for this tricks, she is even fornicating which is GREAT EVIL. Tell her to stop fornicating and focus on her life. GOD bless.

    • How is the man wicked if you don’t mind me asking? She is an adult and can make her own decision. She needed and advise and not the other way round.

      She should not get pregnant rather she should tell her parent after all there is never a right time to break a bad or good news.

  2. Why the rush? Why allow material things elude you? Why are you tempting God?What is wrong with girls of nowadays? Have you asked him why he is divorced? What is going on? Stop any form of immorality right now,I mean right now,that is not marriage, it will never work. How can you marry your father’s friend because of his social class,money etc. You better think twice,you can’t marry him,simple. Be warned,he that has ears let him hear,I come in peace. This shows that you can even go for any elderly man that is even in his 90’s as long as he has the money,and did I hear you say you people are lovebirds? Huh,issorite ooooo.

  3. Only your parents can give the best advice to you now. I’m sure they know why he’s divorced so they will know if he’s good enough to be their in law or not. Your father knew the man long before you. Men have sweet tongue so don’t be carried away by his sweet words. Take many steps backwards and analyse this thing you are calling love. If possible find a reason to travel away for a while, clear your head n think everyone through and decide if this is really what you want. Anyone can be good to you to get what they want

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