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My Wife Being Wicked And Unreasonable. What Else Can I Do?


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My Wife Being Wicked And Unreasonable. What Else Can I Do?

My wife and my elder sister never got along since I introduced her as my fiancée seven years ago. Well, my elder sister and I have been very close from childhood. So, it was only natural that she would lean on me whenever she was having marital or relationship issues. She eventually divorced after five years of marriage and I have been like a rock and shoulder to lean on emotionally and financially since then.

I expected my wife to understand my relationship with my sister but she made it clear that she did not want the reliance my sister has on me to continue. I did not like that but I was patient, hoping that it was a mere women issue and soon, with time, things will improve.

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Many times, I spoke to my wife to remember that my sister is all I have got and I will always be in her life as she is mine. My wife made comments like, my relationship with my sister should never triumph over our relationship as husband and wife. To the best of my ability and knowledge, that has never been the case ..yet, my wife keeps disliking my sister.

About a year ago, my sister stopped taking my calls, she stopped coming to visit my house. I noticed after a month. I tried all my best to ask her what happened and she said she does not want to continue to make my wife upset, so she wants to stay away. I told her it was not necessary as I will as I will always want her in my life.

My sister insisted that will never come around my house again but I can feel free to come to hers. After much trying to persuade her and she refused, I accepted her decision even though I was not happy with that. Long story short, I just found out the real reason that my sister stopped coming to my house.

It happened that my wife accused my sister’s son who was with her in our house one day. He accused the boy of showing my son porn material on phone. But in actual fact, it was my son who showed her son the porn video. But my wife made a huge scene saying that my sister being a divorcee is not raising her son well and as such, her son wants to corrupt our son.

My sister said she cried that day…that no one has ever made her feel like being divorced means she is a bad mother. So, she made up her mind to stay away from my family. To me, I felt my sister should have at least told me what happened but I could see she was really hurt. Meanwhile my wife has been defending her actions and saying I am defending my sister without seeing that having her around us is bad for us.

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I feel really bad. I want to be there for my sister but my wife makes it really hard. Now, my wife is saying that if I continue speaking with my sister and believing my sister over her, that she will walk out of our marriage. My wife is being really unreasonable. Any effort I make towards making her see reason, she burst out into tears, saying my sister is causing disunity in my home…pure emotional blackmail.

Unfortunately, my sister recently just got diagnosed of cancer. This is a very tough period for her . I really cannot stay away from her now. She needs me and her family for support and I intend to gibe her that support 100%. Instead of my wife to be understanding as well, she is making it look as if I am doing too much for my sister and thinking less of our home. Maybe I made a mistake marrying a woman with such  cold heart.

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My wife has said I seem to care more for my sister than her. That my sister is the one calling the shots in our marriage, influencing my decisions. I don’t know why my wife thinks like this but I am tired of the malice. Please what do I do? This attitude of my wife is making me see her in a different light and I almost regret marrying her.

How do I keep managing her nasty behavior? When we disagree about anything about my sister, she keeps malice with me, withholding s*x for days. I am unhappy. What do I do?




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My Wife Being Wicked And Unreasonable. What Else Can I Do?
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Sir, put yourself together, never feel regret marrying your wife. Nobody is perfect so also marriage!

    You stated above and I quote: *My wife made comments like, my relationship with my sister should never triumph over our relationship as husband and wife.*

    Your wife is right here!
    Your relationship with your wife on this planet comes first, any other relationship is second.

    *God’s word says that when a man and woman marry, they will leave their families and cleave to each other, that leads to becoming one flesh in marriage.*

    For me, I think there are other marrital responsibilities you do ignored or you are not taken them serious but rather focused on your sister the more.

    Hear me sir.

    No marriage is perfect but everyone is trying to manage his own. Sir, calm down, do not allow your marriage to crash. You are a man, you can handle this.
    Yes your sister is your blood and part of your family as well. But there are supports either financial or emotional that you can rendered to her (your sister) without involving anyone.

    Know that jealousy lives among women since from Adam and that makes them different from men.
    On the side of your child, make sure you go through your child’s phone thoroughly. For a young child to have adult contents in his phone it’s not something to be taken lightly, it’s serious. Please handle it tactically!

    Finally, Sir, if you still love your wife, keep pride aside and seat with her. Apologize to her for bringing your sister close to you. There are many ways you can support your sister silently. Figure it out without voicing it out….Be strong.

    Thank you.

  2. Pls never leave you sister. If your wife decides to leave, then it’s her choice. Your wife is an emotional blackmailer, she is immature, your sister NEEDS YOU MORE THAN EVER NOW. Stay close to your sister. Treat your wife well but DO NOT EVER allow her to be distant from your sister. If you do you will regret it, many men are suffering financially cos they neglected their brothers and sisters in the name of my wife first, yes its good your wife first, but if you allow her to distant you from your blood, my brother in future you may never get assistance from your blood when you need their help. So be WISE.


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