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My Husband Took Everything I Have Worked For And Married Another Woman-Pls Advise

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My Husband Took Everything I Have Worked For And Married Another Woman-Pls Advise

Chidi (not real name) was my first boyfriend and love of my life. I was living with my Auntie in Ikota, helping in her restaurant when I met Chidi. Chidi was working as an apprentice in a spare parts shop. Life was hard for us cos I could not further my education hence I came to Lagos to serve as house help and sales girl for my Aunty while Chidi left his village to learn a trade.

Chidi was my only source of happiness during those difficult years and he and I were planning to get married in future. Then things changed. I got involved in a woman who promised me a job in Europe for greener pastures. Chidi and I thought it would be good for us, as I would go abroad to work and send money back, for him to safe and we can start a future when I return.

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When I got to Europe, I discovered it was prostitution I was brought to come and do. I cried and almost wanted to die but I remembered my poor family and Chidi back home and I became determined to succeed. I worked my back off for 3 years before I could even begin to send money home. I sent money to Chidi and his family, to my family as well. I sent money to Chidi to buy a car, rent an apartment, etc.

I was finally able to travel home after five years of hustling abroad. I got home and met a different Chidi. He had used all the money I sent to him to start his business, he saved very little as I told him but he had the car and apartment, so I did not mind too much. But I noticed he was hiding his calls until I suspected he was keeping another girl and hiding her from me.

When I challenged Chidi about his sneaky phone calls, he then told me that its just a yoruba girl disturbing him, that I should not mind. So, I was calm. Later, I was wondering why Chidi was not talking about our marriage as we have discussed for so long. He said he wants me to get a job first cos I just came back in the country. While I was looking for a job, I got pregnant and I told Chidi that I don’t want to have a baby outside wedlock and he said its no big deal, that we can get married but it will be quiet, only traditional marriage for now.

I agreed but when it was time for him to come with his family to see my family, Chidi came with his friend alone. I asked him why, he said he has been hiding it from me, that his family is against our marriage because they found out that I did prostitution in Europe for 5 years. I was shocked. Like, they didn’t hesitate to take the money I sent them from prostitution but they are not in support of their son marrying me?

We did traditional only. And one day, I called Chidi’s mother to tell her I was not happy that she did not support my wedding after all I did for them and their son. It was that call that the woman cursed me with all the curse in my life. She said I was an ashawo and not good for their son, that I have brought shame to their family. She then said, I better leave her son cos he has a good woman who has a son for him.

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To my uttermost shock, Chidi’s mother revealed that Chidi has a son with that yoruba girl. I confronted Chidi and he was upset that I called his mother. He confirmed that he has a son and that he is also married to the lady but that he only married me because of all I have done for him. That he married the girl in church and court but me, its only traditional he did for me. That he only married me cos he does not want to disappoint me.

Chidi said since I have found out, that no need for him to lie anymore. Since then,Chidi spends time more with his other woman and her son. Since then, its quarrel and fight me and Chidi are doing. He prefers that woman more to me. I gave birth and Chidi did not even come for the baby’s naming ceremony. I feel so sad and most times thoughts of killing myself or ending the marriage keeps coming to me.

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What should I do? From the look of things,Chidi does not love me or my child. So, what exactly am I doing in this marriage? If I remember the pain I went through and all the money I sent to Chidi to help him start his business and how he has abandoned me now, I really feel like killing myself. Please advise me. If I leave this fraud marriage, I dont even know where I will start from?

Maybe I will go back to prostitution because I have not been able to get a job cos all the money I made while abroad, I gave all to Chidi and he invested all in his business and yet, he treats me so bad. Thank God I sent some to my family which they used in building a house in the village but I cannot go back to the village now. Its better, I send my baby to my mother in the village and go back to hustle abroad otherwise, I may loose my mind here.

My friend convinced me to share my story on lively stones. Well, here is my story. I have nothing, lost everything…I don’t know what else to do. Please advise me…any point staying in the fraud of a marriage where I am loosing my mind or leave and go hustle some more, because, I have no job, no husband and I have a baby to take care of. Sometimes, I think of even killing Chidi or poisoning his other woman for what they did to me. I am desperate. I need advise.

 

Anonymous

Photo Credit:teachingtimes

 

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My Husband Took Everything I Have Worked For And Married Another Woman-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Beauty,

    Thank God He has kept you.

    Please do not kill your husband , his Yoruba wife or yourself.

    Do not go back to prostitution, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.”

    Ask God’s forgiveness, start a new slate with God, accept Him into your life.

    Ask your husband to give you some money if he has so you can learn a trade, try to take care of your child yourself if you can.

    Find a place in your heart to let go and forgive your husband. It seems the marriage was a deception so if you want to be free of it, it’s up to you but do not jump into living with another man or sleeping with him without being properly married FIRST.

    Learn a trade and start life bit by bit. God will prosper you.

    Again, do not go back into prostitution. There will be a way for you. Once God forgives you, hold your head high, get into fellowship so you don’t slip into old ways and forge ahead.

    It will not be rosy, but there is a path for you.

    All the best.

  2. Good day please ma
    God is with you through this tough time please go to him ask for forgiveness and ask him to guide you out of this period.

    My sister please I would encourage you forgive your husband and ask for some money to start a trade and use the proceed to take care of your self and your child
    I am sure you will move and get blessed, please don’t go back into prostitution

  3. The best revenge is no revenge at all…get back to ur feet,,,,,change ur ways and hold unto God……the more u go into immoral life…the more things will go wrong…….u hv to be smart now……ill say zero ur mind on Chidi….but make sure u get something out of him…..if u feel u want to stay fine…..but think of better things to do ….i believe God will open doors for u….be strong….

  4. Please forget Chidi,if your mum will accept your baby please let the baby be with her,put yourself together and stand on your feet. Leave that yeye motor part dealer that is not learned, very stupid sombori,how can someone be this nice and he just chose to treat you like this,collect the car from the mongosutu,if it is still in good order,turn it into uber or bolt,you will still get a job ,just calm down nne oma. Chidi only did that marriage to fulfil all righteousness. It is well you sweetheart, leave that big head Chidi,he is just ewu Gambia. Mind you ,your husband will come soon,just package for Jesus Christ,inugo nnem

  5. Sister u fool urself by sending money to s1 that is not even ur boold all in the sake of ur boy friend, Never trust anybody ) Just put urself together and be strong ,u need to forgive urself first n be heal … Pls don’t go back into prostitution is not d best way to overcome those trial times.. Just keep on trying u will get a job n for chidi believe me he cant go free like DAT ,is going to face his own difficulties too because all d help u did for him was not his sweat… Be stronger n give ur life to Christ

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