My Children Prefer My Lover To Their Father But Its Complicated-Pls Advise
Eleven years ago, I met my husband as a corper who did not have anything. A young handsome boy who was always smiling. With my Uncle’s influence, he got a job into the civil service. And with God on our side,we got married and we have moved up our career, doing very well financially, so much that we built our first house in magodo after five years of marriage.
My husband went into politics and things began to change. My once loving husband spent more time with political associates and meetings and strange women and our marriage began to suffer. Yes, I supported his political attempts but when it began to turn him into an alcoholic, I knew it was a mistake.
The circles he moved in, turned him into an alcoholic. He would drink so bad that I would be forced to carry him from the car to the house. Then he became abusive. He would hit me and curse me. I got infected by him with several STDs. I could not take it anymore. I spoke to his younger brother in the US and he told me to relocate with my children. With his help, my children and I left my husband three years ago and we have been living in the US since.
My husband’s younger brother is a doctor. A single dad. We moved into his apartment and I practically became mother to his son and my two children. My brother in-law has always been fond of me but it would have never crossed my mind that I would one day have feelings for him. It was like 7 months after we relocated. Maybe it was loneliness but we ended up kissing and after thinking it was a mistake, we realized we wanted more.
I have been having a relationship with my brother in-law since that time. We are both in love but its complicated cos I am still his elder brother’s wife. So, I filed for a divorce last year but my husband suddenly changed and started trying to win me back. He would travel to see me and the children every 3 months and that really was hard cos his brother was always filed with rage and jealousy.
My husband always thanked his younger brother for taking care of me and our children but it killed him knowing that he was trying to win me back. I begged my brother in-law to forget about me, so I don’t cause a problem in the family. But he wont listen. He says I am his and he will never allow me go back to his brother.
I feel like the only way I can be free of my brother inlaw is if I go back to Nigeria,away from seeing him. But I do not want to go back because my children are happy here. They love being in US than Nigeria and they completely adore their Uncle. But as long as I continue to stay here, my feelings for my brother in-law will never go away. What should I do?
My brother inlaw wants me to go ahead with the divorce so we can be together. Its true, I love him more than my husband. He treats me better. He was there in my most difficult times and he is the best man any woman can dream of. But I always feel scared that if I go ahead with my divorce, my husband may one day find out about my relationship with his brother.
My brother in-law wants to come clean to his elder brother. Tell him about us but I am scared. He even said he is ready to take all the blame but we know women will always be blamed in this kind of situation. He said we can relocate to Australia and be there for a while. Should I do it?
Remember, my husband, even though has changed but he is still an alcoholic. I fear him being in politics will always be a threat to our marriage. He even has a baby mama now but he wants to still be married to me. My children still fear him for the way they saw him treat me plus he used to shout at them when he gets drunk. They prefer Uncle as their father. He is kind and a far better father figure. I am truly confused. Should I go ahead and divorce the elder brother who is an alcoholic and marry the younger brother who treats me like a queen? Will that be too wrong?
Its not like everyone does not know how badly my husband treated me. No one will be truly surprised if we divorced. Its just that ….what will people say when they know I am with his younger brother? Should I be worried about that or just ignore whatever people say? After all, isn’t happiness more important than what people think? Yes, the family might not like it but we don’t live in Nigeria and we may never live there, who cares what people will say?
I just want what is best for me and my children. My mother (she is the only one I have told for now) was against it before but now, she just want me to be happy…What would you do if you were in my shoes?
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