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I Am Not Sure I Love My Boyfriend Anymore But I Am Scared Of Loosing Him-Pls Advise

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I Am Not Sure I Love My Boyfriend Anymore But I Am Scared Of Loosing Him-Pls Advise

I need your advice pls. I met this guy 2018 ..but we started dating officially 2019, as of then he was in his 400level, meanwhile i was in my 200l then, he stays in Bauchi state (not real location) while i live in Nassarawa (not real locations) but we both schooled in ABU, he was so kind, caring and loving..

The guy I started dating then doesn’t mind sharing his last money with me .We were cool I loved him and he loved me…although we were battling with the issues of him following girls…he then graduated and he went for service 2020 immediately they went for camp ..the lockdown started and he had to come back …
We stayed months just chatting, phone calls and video calls…untill they eased the first phase of the lock down and he decided to come see me ..that was his first time coming to see me ..then later on they called them back and he had to go back his place of ppa..later on he came back for break around September he came to Nassarawa to see me again.
When he came …I was just going through his pictures only for me to find a picture of him and one other girl naked on the bed…when I asked him he collected the phone immediately and deleted the pictures .he begged me and was like he just met the girl and it was just a one day thing …
That after that he has never had anything to do with her. he begged and begged I forgave him but deep inside the trust I had for him died off…he went back to his pLace of ppa after the break ..but meanwhile there was this particular girl he was always posting…according to him she was just his friend and he met her at his place of ppa they worked together .
I had this feeling inside me that he was having an affair…when he started his service he sent me money from his first allowee ..he sent me 3k and ever since then he never sent me money again and even when I asked he will be like he doesn’t have money he has things to attend to, feeding over there is expensive, different excuses and it was like I asked him all the time ..just once in a blue moon and even when I asked he wouldn’t give me.
Meanwhile from the time he was posted to his place of ppa he changed. he stopped calling like before, no frequent chat ..I complained about almost throughout the year ..when i complain he will be like I nag a lot and that he is busy with work that’s why , he has lesson plans to write .One excuse or the other..at these moment the feelings and vibes started fading he never sent me money again till his last allowee which I know they usually pay them xtime two of their allowee minus the money they paid him where he was serving he sent me just 3k, he stopped telling me when they pay him until I asked him..all this happened 2020 till dis year February when he finished his service.
He came back home then my school had resumed and I was in school ..he started calling, texting me ..he went back to the old him ..but I had already gotten use the former him ..I was already used no chat and no calls ..so even when he called or chat me up I wasn’t feeling the vibes again or will I was already falling out of love he started complaining of my attitude.
He invited me over to his place that same February the was the first time since after we met September 2020, and even when I met him I wasn’t really happy ..you know, the feeling when you haven’t seen your boyfriend for a long period of time …the joy and feeling wasn’t dere…it was just normal to me ..I actually agreed to see him thinking when we meet the vibes and feeling might come back but still yet I didn’t feel anything…
Same thing happened last month he invited to come spend the sallah break at his place then I found out he really had an affair with that girl in his ppa ..even when I went I was feeling the vibes ..I even tested myself to see if I love him we had issues which led to a partial breakup I wasn’t myself …I was moody all through that period I had to beg him and we came back but still yet when we finally came back I went to see him I still wasn’t feeling myself…
Meanwhile all these period he hasn’t been sending me money even when I ask he will be like he doesn’t have but whenever he wants to see me he will sort out money from only God knows where to send me money for transport…and this money issues is really turning me off. Just recently on Monday he told me to come over for weekend which is today ..
I told him to send me money for my hair cos my hair is so unkept ..which he said my hair isn’t part of his budget that I should come like that ..I insisted that he must send me the money and he agreed to send me just 1k which I know wont be enough.
I insisted he sends 2k then I’ll sort out money to complete the rest we have battling that issues till Wednesday when I remembered I had weekend program and the stylist who is supposed to make my hair got sick . so I told him everything .
So I told him to just send me the money so I’ll make the hair which he has refused that since I’m not coming this weekend I should leave the hair till next weekend and also he won’t send me the money. its now operation no coming to see me ..no money for you.
I’m seriously feed up…and I’m confused ..I really want to break up but when you want to do that I get scared. I really don’t know if I still love him because that vibe is really not there again…I’m confused about it…I need your advice please.
Anonymous
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I Am Not Sure I Love My Boyfriend Anymore But I Am Scared Of Loosing Him-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. Good Morning ,

    This is my advice: I think you are either too young or naive to see that this relationship with this guy is leading no way.

    This guy is full of lies and all he wants to do is trick you…how you are not reading the signs is baffling. Too many red flags in your relationship.

    And like you said….your feelings for him, are not like before

    My dear….no need to be scared of break up…people break up all the time…it’s not like it’s marriage that is for better or for worse.

    And you know that you can never know what beautiful surprise the future holds if you keep holding on to a horrible past.

    My dear, Ipray you give yourself the courage to know that you surely deserve better

    And finally…being in a relationship does not mean you have to depend on a man…get your own money and do your thing by yourself…these days, no man wants a woman who will be asking for money for every pin you want to buy…have some self dignity and show smartness and independence…do not be a liability in your relationship.

    Move on…and do better next time…

    I wish you all the best.

  2. What are you scared of? You have your whole life infront of you and you are allowing one unserious human frustrate you. Pls take a walk,all this back and forth is not productive.

  3. There are some stories that shouldn’t be approved in the first place,what is all these money ,vibes and not loving things all about. You are in 200level right,please concentrate on your studies this minute and do not allow any boy distract you from having distinctions okay. A guy that is managing himself from his allowee, how do you expect him to send you enough money for your hair and some other stuffs? It is the small one he has that he will send to you na,so manage it biko. Be a good girl and focus on your studies

    • Abeg,you need a standing novation for this advice. Such a childish write up to begin with. At that age,why would someone even see all these as something to write and seek advice for? Surely?

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