Home Advice My Wife Insulted My Benefactor & Disrespected Me As Her Husband

My Wife Insulted My Benefactor & Disrespected Me As Her Husband

My Wife Insulted My Benefactor & Disrespected Me As Her Husband

Hello ma,

Please hide my details. I am having an issue in my marriage. And this issue is about my wife imagining crazy things in her head. I got married three years ago. When I was dating my wife, I introduced her to my mentor, Ms. Jane (not real name). Ms. Jane has been my mentor for over 15 years. I came to Lagos as a secondary school drop out. I lived with relatives who did not care much about me, so I started hustling and doing all kinds of of jobs to survive.

I met Ms. Jane  who offered me a job to work in her dry cleaning outfit. I did so well that when the manager of the place resigned, Ms. Jane offered me the job after only one year of working with her. She asked me what I wanted to do in life, and I told her I wanted to complete my education. She helped me get my GCE form and I passed. I also started doing part time schooling.

Everything I am today is because of Ms. Jane. I graduated from school and I grew Ms. Jane’s business and I started my own chain of businesses in Dry cleaning and auto spare parts dealing. I met my wife through a friend, she is used to be a shy young woman and I found out she was a virgin, I told myself, I would marry her.

I introduced her to Ms Jane as my mentor. She was very respectful to her and all that. Now, that we are married, I noticed that she no longer like Ms. Jane anymore. She said Ms. Jane is not married and she does not understand that married people need space. That Ms. Jane’s involvement in our marriage is too much.

Just because Ms. Jane calls us, ask of her and our baby, buys things for her and the baby. But when I am having business meetings with Ms. Jane, my wife is imagining things. Well, its my fault, I am the one innocently telling my wife my every conversations and dealings with Ms. Jane.

One time, I don’t know what entered my head but my wife was asking why Ms. Jane is not married after all, she is pretty. I told her that she has been unlucky in relationships. She even asked me why didnt I date Ms. Jane. I told her cos she is older than me. Maybe, I had a little alcohol but I told my wife of a little night of indiscretion I had with Ms. Jane.

I mean, nothing really happened. It was one night that I went to see Ms. Jane. She was upstairs in her room and told the house manager to send me up to bring her the cheques to sign. When I got to her room, she was scantily dressed and while I tried to act professional, Ms. Jane, was clearly flirting with me. I saw pain in her eyes. She had just broken up with her man that time.

I held her when she tried to kiss me. I told her no and she apologized. For a few days, she avoided me and I thought she would sack me but she never mentioned that night till date. And I have never made any advances to her or has she tried to anymore. For that, I respected her even much more.

So even when I was going to get married, I did not even think of Ms. Jane in a romantic way after all, I didnt hide my relationship from her. Now, I am married. Ms. Jane is still my mentor and I respect her alot.Why all of a sudden my wife is saying I have to cut her off. That she is too involved in our life. And using that kiss I told her happened to blackmail me.

My wife is insinuating that Ms. Jane is waiting for an opportunity to sleep with me, that once I give her green light, she will respond. Well, I have too much respect for Ms. Jane. She is eve 11 years older than me. Why would I sleep with someone who is my benefactor. I told my wife to stop thinking rubbish thought.

Do you know my wife blocked me from going out two nights ago? She said I will not got for a meeting with Ms. Jane and some business clients. Can you imagine? I thought my wife was joking but she held my shirt and said over her dead body. I thought this was a joke really. I left for the meeting and before I knew it, my wife called Ms. Jane and insulted the living day light out of this woman who has done nothing but show her love and kindness.

What kind of stupid insecurity is even controlling my wife? I told her to call and apologize and she has refused. I have indeed spoken to Ms Jane to apologize but I told my wife to apologize or she will have it tough with me. My wife told me to go to hell. That Ms. Jane’s juju will not work. What nonsense juju is she referring to?

Please how do I deal with this issue? What has overcome my wife? How do I repay someone like Ms. Jane who did nothing wrong but set me up in life with such unkindness? Please advise me. I am so upset with my wife. Why is she feeling so crazy all of a sudden? Maybe I made a mistake by marrying her…what is all this rubbish now?




Photo Credit:bisiadewale


Share This Story




  1. Send her packing back to her parent’s house. Let her from her parent’s house call Ms. Jane to apologize to her.
    What nonsense! It is with her stupid attitude that the man will regret marrying her.
    Forget shy girls, they are the meanest people when you eventually marry them.

    Poster, send her back to her people and from henceforth keep things to yourself. Na this kind of women dey push their husbands outside with bad characters and insecurities.

  2. What meeting are you having with Ms. Jane at night. You’re married let your wife trust you. This is a digital age can’t you do your meeting on zoom. Why do you have to go out at night for a meeting. Next time take her along. Be open to her. Build your trust with her. I suggest she still apologise to her but reduce the frequency of your meeting.

  3. Your wife must apologize and understand your relationship with ms Jane, if she refused allow her be, but if she keeps disturbing your work and relationship with ms Jane pls give her space, you can even leave the house for her until she comes to her senses…. All these attitude bring ill-luck to people.. And you too make sure there’s absolutely nothing suspicious going on with you and ms Jane…

  4. Your wife is just immature and lacks sense of responsibility. You have to make her understand who Ms Jane is to you and how she has really helped you this far before she spoils things for you. Tell her to behave or else.
    You also have to be careful with Ms Jane,remember she is still a single lady,the closeness should be defined,don’t always go too close ,remember you already told your wife about the kiss and that’s why she is behaving the way she is doing. Note, you are married and if your wife happens to have a male friend who is also a single man flirting around her,I know you won’t find it funny. Be good

  5. Your wife is just insecured, didn’t see know about Ms. Jane and your work relationship before you married her.
    Your wife is being childish and immatured and she is not approaching the situation with wisdom. All she will get from her behaviour is to push you away.
    I think you should see her down and talk sense to her, also talk to someone she respects so they can counsel her.
    Finally also consider looking for another job, for peace sake

  6. Send her packing period. If you’re poor man would she have married you? She does not know how you made it in life. Want to ridicule you because of marriage. If you can’t pay bills tomorrow she will be the first to insult you.

  7. After reading ur story I respect u as a man with full trust n loyalty,ur wife is a baby she is not mature enough to be a woman,after u have explained every single thing and ur life to her how this women helped u to nobody to somebody ,n still yet she insulted Mrs Jane ,sorry bro ur wife is a life destroyer and ungrateful woman . u need to discipline Ur wife in a big way in honestly, if not for the help of God and Mrs Jane will you wife be enjoying all d things she enjoying today No! Ur wife has trust issues and it can destroy so easily ..

  8. Thanks so much for sharing. Please be patient with your wife. She may not be totally wrong. No matter how straight your relationship with your benefactor is, you must draw reasonable line of demarcation, now that you are married. Truly you may not know that your wife is protecting you. It may sound strange to you, but that is the core truth. No woman who knows her worth will allow her husband to be so freely exposed to another woman not related to the man by blood. Am not saying that anything untoward is going on, but boundaries must be clearly delineated and respected. She called and abused your benefactor out of frustration. You must have knowingly or unknowingly ignored her to a large extent. Every woman knows how vulnerable a man is to a woman. She is only trying to shield you from this vulnerability. Forgive her for her excesses and work closely with her to define where and how lines of sanity and assurance will be drawn. Carry her along, respect her fears , communicate with your benefactor,. As a woman she understands this more than you. Let her gain or earn your wife’s confidence. It’s a territorial war. Thanks. Please build up your home with wisdom.

  9. Bro. Pls listen to your wife, your benefactor may be looking for the perfect time to seduce you. Pls keep your boundaries


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Exit mobile version