Stuck In A Loveless Marriage In Canada-I Need My Freedom From This Marriage
How do I even start? Ok, so I am married but living single. No o, my husband is not dead o…nor is he travelled. He is very much well and alive and living in the same house as me and that is how we have been living for the past five years. So, I live in the Canada I was single until 39 years old, it was hard but I met a my husband, a Ghanaian who just relocated.
We met and dated for like 3 months and he told me he wanted to marry me. I said yes. We got married four months later. But since he just relocated,he was not really financially bouyant. So, all our wedding and early living expenses was being covered by me. He used to be very grateful and tell me that soon, he will be contributing his part, thanking God he married such a resourceful wife like me.
However, as life went on, I got pregnant and he got a better job, he was still not contributing. And worse still, he was not helping even with chores at home. He would say, African men dont do chores and he has not come abroad to become a less man. I was like but you used to do that before we married, he said …that before…he would do it no more.
Truly, I felt betrayed. Like I married someone who was pretending. Well, we married fast so maybe I missed all the red flags. Its been seven years and my husband has not changed. If anything, he is worse. He does not contribute to anything in the house. He earns better pay now. He does not help with anything, all he expects is his food and s8x when he wants it.
I got so worked up two years ago when I found out that he was sending his monies back home to Ghana. My husband has two houses in Ghana and he is right now building a hotel. So, I have been the fool. I am not saving cos I am caring for him and our two children, paying mortgage, paying light and water bills, school fees…I can barely send any money home to my family not to talk of save anything.
On top of that, barely touches me. He told me that I am not attractive, that I am fat. That he married me out of pity cos of my age. That he just cannot find himself attracted to me. I have tried to get some Church leaders here to talk to him but he listens and tries to change for one or two days and he goes back to his bad ways.
So, two years ago, I made up my mind to stop disturbing him, focus on my children and me. I am considering divorce but I don’t want to be the one to initiate it otherwise, I will be forced to pay him cos he will claim that I am the one supporting his current lifestyle and that a divorce would mean he cannot continue living at this standard.
So, I am waiting for him to get tired and divorce me. This wicked man does not want to divorce me. I have begged him and he said no. Now, I am stuck in a marriage that I am not loved nor do I love the man. I don’t want to spend a penny of mine on him anymore. I don’t know what to do. I also have s8xual needs cos we do not have s8x anymore, he would have a reason to ask the court to dissolve our marriage and ask me for spousal support.
I have been feeling so trapped. I want out. I am seeking any lawyer here in Canada or anyone knowledgeable about international marriage laws to advice how best I can free myself from this marriage without parting with a penny from this man. Please advise me.
Anonymous Lively Stones Reader from Canada
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