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My Husband Said I Should Go For Breast Enlargement Surgery-I Feel Body Shamed

My Husband Said I Should Go For Breast Enlargement Surgery-I Feel Body Shamed

Please keep my details private. I am married to a good man but I fear he may change if something is not done. Our marriage is going to be 9 years in July. We are blessed with two girls and a boy. When we met, my husband used to tease me about my small body. I am petite. But he would say, he likes petite girls cos when they get pregnant, then they will become curvy and nice.

I used to wonder what kind of statement was that. And to be honest, I know my body features are small but I have done everything I can to add some flesh and curves to no avail. I had to start looking forward to marriage and pregnancy to do the trick. I had my first, second and third child and you wont believe I am even married talk less of having a baby yet my body is still the way it is.

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Some women envy my body for remaining status quo but my husband does not like it. Last year, he told me that he wants me to consider surgery especially for breast enlargement. That I look like a kid with my body. I felt hurt cos I he knew how my body was when he married me. He was attracted to my petite nature, maybe he was waiting for me to grow curves but my body make up is different and I cannot change that.

I told him how disappointed that he was body shaming me and he said its not body shaming, that he likes curves and boobs. That he does not want to be tempted by women with full package, that is why he wants me to go for surgery since I don’t have it naturally. I considered this for months. I watched several videos of how these plastic surgeries are done and I got more scared.

When I told my sister, she told me not to try it cos it could be fatal. Yes, some people do it successfully but many also die or have complications. So, I made up my mind not to do it. Early this year, my husband reminded me to do the surgery and I told him I will not and if he does not love me the way I am,he can do what he likes. He said are you sure? I didn’t answer him cos I was hurt and pained by his lack of consideration.

I started to see my husband begin to like pictures of curvy women in IG and Facebook. I know he was doing that to get to me. So, I unfollowed him on social media. Two months ago, I saw chats he has with a lady. He usually passwords his phone but I know he wanted me to know he was cheating so he left it in a way that I would see it and I saw it.

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After seeing his chats and all, I told him if he is cheating then I would leave him and he said suit yourself. That I am the one who pushed him to cheat. That many women do surgeries to attract men and he as my husband is begging me to do it so he will not stray yet I am being selfish cos I do not want him to enjoy what he likes. He gave me contact of a plastic surgeon in SA. That the doctor is very reliable, that he has done for many celebrities.

He even said its very normal procedure, that its like having a CS. That many women have CS. That after the breast enlargement, that he would want a but enlargement too. I feel so body shamed and its really killing my self esteem. I feel inadequate …this same body that I used to be very proud of….cos I do not struggle with fat and weight problems.

So, my husband is cheating cos he said I pushed him to do it. We are hardly speaking to each other except when it has to do with the children. I have cried and prayed and yet nothing has happened. I started to go to the gym last month to work on my body but I am really pained by the fact that I am being forced to work on my body that is perfect in my eyes but just cos my husband wants to see me look a certain way, I am no longer perfect for him.

I am unhappy. The gym workouts may help a bit ….maybe after some months or a year but my boobs may not be as big as he wants. And working out makes me tired and sometimes, my body breaks down. I am tired and it  feels like I have no option than to allow my husband cheat and leave me in peace…until I cant take it anymore and maybe leave finally.

Please, if you have ever been in my shoes, how did you handle this matter? what advise do you have for me, I really do not want my husband to leave me cos I love him…is surgery the only way out?



Photo Credit:elitebodysculpture


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. My dear, pls don’t ever consider the surgery and keep praying for him. Cos left to me, he is extremely selfish. If he has seen the side effects that those that have surgeries go through not to talk of maintenance. If you do the surgery, you will hate yourself more and he will leave you. So keep praying for him and focus on your beautiful kids.

  2. Please do not go for any surgery,love yourself and body,take care of your children and be happy. What is the guarantee that after this plastic surgery,he will not still cheat? Abeg,your husband has been associating or mingling with bad friends, afterall you were like this when he married you, why the sudden body shaming? He isn’t proud of you any longer abi, nwanyi oma be happy biko,don’t stress that body by going to any gym,just do little exercise and be fit. After 9years of marriage, him come begin find curvy body,breast and yansh. Nawaoooo, just dey stress innocent woman for nothing

  3. Follow your heart and be happy.. don’t do it because it has terrible unrepairable side effects..
    If any thing happens your husband will abandon you for life.. please love and take care of yourself.. people are stressing and killing themselves just to have what you have..
    How many women has your husband created sef…

  4. Hey dia God created u the way u are for a reason don’t even try surgery to please ur husband if he cant accept u the way u are pliz let him go he Will come back coz he Will realize that there is nothing much big in big bams and boobs let him do wat he pleases be strong my dia one its not the end just keep urself esteem high all shall be well my dia


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