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My Ex Made Me Believe In Love Again But Then He Forced Himself On Me


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My Ex Made Me Believe In Love Again But Then He Forced Himself On Me

This is going to sound crazy but I need too talk to someone cos I feel terrible and I need your opinion on this. I am a 33 years old. I was in a long distance relationship for two years but we broke up three months ago.

The reason we broke up was because: the toll of not seeing each other was getting to both of us. And I was hearing rumors of him seeing other girls. And then, my ex led me to believe that he was still in love with me and we could work things out.

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So, while I was having issues with my long distance relationship, my ex reached out to me and somehow, he became my confidant, I found myself telling him about the challenges i was having in my relationship. Of I asked him if he was still single and he said the relationship he is in, is not serious. In fact, he told me he was thinking of breaking up with the girl cos she was not his type.

He then went on to make me feel like he was just being friends and missing how I was such a good girlfriend and he didn’t appreciate me then. That , being with other women, he sees his errors and wants us to give it a try again. But I kept telling him I have a boyfriend. And that is how he got me.

My ex got me because he took advantage of the knowledge he has of me, which he clearly knew I was lacking from my boyfriend. What I mean is my love for s8x. When we were together, my ex and I had a great s8x life. I loved our passion and chemistry then. We used to love aggressive s8x. And I told him how I truly missed that cos obviously, I was in a long distance situation.

Before long, our conversations became raunchy and I began to fall for him again. He knew the type of dirty talk that got me turned on. This convinced me more that I was in the wrong relationship. Here was my ex, who knows me and knows what I love…and here I was fighting over a guy who I don’t even know what he is doing over there in Dubai.

Some would ask, why did I break up with my ex if he was this good? Well, at the time, he was not ready to settle down. We started like just casual relationship and when I asked him where the relationship was leading to, he told me marriage was not on his radar, so I left. I met my current boyfriend who made me think marriage was going to happen but he keeps also telling me that it will be this December but we are having so much trust issues.

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My ex made me feel that he has finished exploring and is ready to settle down with me. I met up with  my ex last week after several persuasions from him. Before I agreed to come though, I told him that there would be no s8x o…he laughed and said ok but if you change your mind…its all good. I got to his place and he made the most romantic set up. My goodness, I was in love. There was candles and he cooked me dinner. How was I to resist all of these.

After dinner and watching some movies, he started to make advances to me. I did not want to sleep with him that first night of coming back together so I told him so. I told him, that yes, I wanted him but not tonight. Because of our past, he thought I was pretending and wanting him to be aggressive with me. I kept telling him no…but he raised the volume of the music, pinned me down and forced himself on me.

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That is why I say this story might seem strange. Yes, I love aggressive s8x but that night, he r*ped me. It was against my will. I started to cry after and he told me to stop pretending, that if  I didn’t want to sleep with him, why did I come? That he thought we were on the same page and he wanted us to get back together and here I was crying.

I told him that I have changed and more mature, yes, I love s8x but I also want to be treated with respect. I thought we would catch up first, just talk and be friends again before having s8x . My ex was just looking at me as if I was crazy or dumb. I know, I feel dumb too for being so stupid to think we were only going to talk that night.

Then he asked me so what now? I told him I needed time to think. He was like ok. This guy was not even gentle or considerate after. I told him I wanted to leave, he called an Uber for me, I took my stuff and left. He didn’t even call me to find out how I was after. He didn’t check on me. Three days later, I texted him and found out he blocked me.

Just last week Saturday, I found out he got married. I was beyond shocked. I was so sad that I let him force himself on me and he went ahead to marry someone. And on top of that, I broke up with someone who was planning to marry me in December.

I feel so bad that I want my ex to pay for what he did. I want to tell his wife that her husband r*ped me a week to their wedding. I know it may not change anything but that is how I feel I should get some closure or revenge if you call it that. Maybe the wife will need to know the type of man she married. I can also show her raunchy chats & vids we had weeks before her marriage.

If I lost out on my relationship because of my ex, surely he deserves to have some trouble in his marriage for how he led me on. He is a liar and a cheat and a r*pist and I just want to pour out my heart and let his wife know, hurting him a little just like he hurt me and fooled me.

Yes,I should have known better yes but it takes two to tango, I shouldn’t suffer alone especially cos he forced me…I said no…so this is my story…please share and advise me…no insults please…I already know I should have known better…I just need advise on my plan…I have to get this pain I feel off my chest.


Photo Credit: iStock

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My Ex Made Me Believe In Love Again But Then He Forced Himself On Me
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Going back to your vomit was totally wrong,you went back to your ex you already trashed long time ago,well you already said that you should have known better. Please move on,telling his wife will not change anything, she might not even believe you,she might think you are one of those girls that wants to put asunder in her marriage. If there is a way you can make up with your Dubai ex,please go ahead if not abeg face front and wait for your husband to locate you. God bless you

  2. Emotions can be misleading dear. Show his wife all those things , it won’t Change a thing. You are a woman and you know how women think , expecially the newly married ones. It will even raise his status cos she will feel so many girls want him to the extent that they cook up stories to defame him . She will never allow herself to see him for who he is.

    Na breakfast though, it will go round. Just calm down. …. The new wife will have her own share too soon. Person wey cheat inside Relationship with confidence like that go cheat more inside marriage .

    I will say don’t confront that Lady about anything. She will be emotional not logical. She can even insult and disgrace you. You are a woman!! You should understand me.

    What’s the way forward ? Accept the Fact that you made a mistake, that it was all your fault. And that you are WISER now. Both of those guys never deserve you. When one door closes, another opens.

    Let me illustrate… If we get to a Bus stop and we don’t like the current car taking in passengers maybe it looks Hargard or it is inconveniencing us. See when that car leave the park , another one will enter. Of course some time may be wasted. That’s the sacrifice to pay for a Good long journey , rather than to hurry and inconvenience your body and legs all the way .

    Apply that illustration to your situation. We all make mistakes, but how we bounce back is what define who we are.

  3. Sister. You knew what you doing when you went to his house. I wonder why people can’t just be honest and faithful these days. Its always sex sex and sex. You are only destroying yourself


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