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How My Aunty Found Forbidden Love That Has Divided Our Family


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How My Aunty Found Forbidden Love That Has Divided Our Family

Hello ma,

Please advise me. Years ago, when I just got married, I and my husband had some of our siblings living with us because both of us first born from our parents. We wanted to help our younger ones staying with us at the time.

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Because we were living in a 3 bedroom apartment, I had my aunty who was helping me with our small children staying in one room with my husband’s younger brothers. One of the brothers was looking for a job at the time while the other one was in school. It was not a comfortable living arrangement but that was the best we could afford because our children were in one room and myself and hubby were in the master bedroom.

Years later, my husband’s brother got a job and he moved out of our home. Not long after, he brought someone he wanted to marry. A lovely girl and we all accepted her. But after marriage, it seemed like this guy was having issues with his marriage cos it was always issues with his wife.

The wife kept complaining about her husband cheating on him. That he is always on the phone with girls…my husband and myself scolded him many times but he kept saying his wife is just being ridiculous and exaggerating. This continued for almost 2 twos. Their issues were compounded because this lady was not able to conceive for him too.

They finally separated. I noticed that this guy started coming to our house when his wife moved out to take food. Which is understandable.  I mean, his wife left him so anyone would understand that he may need home made food and him coming to our house for food was no surprise.

What turned out to be a surprise however is that one day, my aunty was making food and said that this guy had sent her money to help him cook different soups and stew. So that he can store them in the freezer since he had no wife. I was like: why will this guy send my aunty on this kind of errand but I still tried to be on the understanding side. And that is how my aunty started cooking for him and he will come and pick up the foods she made.

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Sometimes, my aunty will take the food to him. He will send a driver or give her money for Uber. Like I said, its a family situation and we all truly believe in helping each other. But this guy’s former wife then called me one day and was shouting. That she found out why he marriage did not work out. That she found out that my aunty and my husband’s brother are f*cking each other.

I was like: this woman is really crazy and must have lost it totally. Maybe she heard my aunty was cooking for her husband and felt threatened but to suggest that my aunty was sleeping with her husband was crazy. So, I told my husband. My husband and I called his brother and he of course went mad and said his wife was lying. The entire family was mad with her for that lie she was trying to cook up.

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However, this woman came with receipts. Apparently, she hid spies around her husband’s house, the gate man and some of her neighbors told her that they see her husband and my mum having s8x. We had to call my aunty to ask her. She tried to deny it but I told her that there were witnesses. My aunty began to cry and confessed. My head started to spin.

So my aunty is single. She raised me and my brothers by herself when our mother died at age 7. She lived with us even when our father remarried and his new wife didn’t want to see us. Later, my father also died. Aunty was engaged but she never married. We heard rumors then that she had an affair with my dad and her fiancé dumped her. We all thought it was a lie. But she never been with any man since my dad’s death. Or so I believed.

My aunty confessed that , my husband’s brother found her attractive and even though she never wanted to fall for him, that they became attracted to each other when he was living in our house. I love and trust my aunty. She is the only mother me and my siblings know. Why did she have to treat us like this? She said we are being unfair to her. That she has never known a man’s love all her life….that we should be happy for her that she found someone. But must that someone be my brother in-law? Must she divide my family to find her own happiness?

By this time, I was crying. I was like: what has my aunty and brother in-law done? What kind of incestuous story is this? My husband’s brother was called in to hear to say his own side of the matter and he did not deny anything. He said they are both in love. That they feared what our reaction would be…so that is why they kept their affair a secret. My husband was so furious that he took a decision and told my aunty to move out.

He also warned both of them to stop the rubbish they are doing but guess what: my aunty moved in with my brother in-law. And now, my husband’s entire family is against me. They are blaming me for my aunty’ s actions. I love my aunty …I know she must have felt lonely all these years after my father’s death but why my brother in-law who is 2 years younger than me?

I have pleaded with her and my siblings have also pleaded with her but she said we don’t understand…that she and this guy are happy and that we should respect their decision. My aunty was 49 years old. This guy was 33 years. I was 35 years old then. Even threats of banishment and disowning both of them have not deterred them. I am so ashamed of my aunty .

Its been two years after. This matter has affected my marriage. Put a strain between me and my in-laws. They put pressure on my husband to divorce me. But my husband refused. My aunty is pregnant for this guy. They got married last year and now they are expecting a child. Is this God’s will? How do I convince my aunty that she is bringing a curse to our family? (That is what my inlaws are saying…that its a curse because their son is younger and she is like my mother…so its incest)

My mother’s family have tried all they can to intervene but these two did not listen to anyone.  I fear for the future…my marriage will never be the same …I don’t know if I can ever convince my in-laws to forgive me or my aunty and allow peace to reign.

Since then, none of them talk to me or visit me. They also don’t want to see me. When we visit them I am ignored, so I stopped going to see them. They say my aunty has seducing spirit and seduced their son. They are even saying maybe she may have even killed my mother to try and take my dad from her. But this woman was kind to us. Can any of this be true? What did I do wrong? Can I ever make this right?




Photo Credit:theculturetrip


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How My Aunty Found Forbidden Love That Has Divided Our Family
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. We find love in the strangest places….please let them be since they are happy with each other…

    About your marriage, I am speechless

  2. May God grant you peace. This problem is not yours, it is act of two adults who didn’t consider others in the actions. Don’t blame yourself leave them to their happinesses.
    As for your in-laws, just continue to love them because they are hurt. There is nothing you can do to change the mind of your aunty and bro inlaw, moreover there is a baby on the way. The baby is completely faultless but will inherit a baggage of problems of her conception

    • Sometimes we just need to accept love whichever way it finds us.

      Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.

  3. You are not to be blamed at all. What is your husband saying and doing about his people’s behaviour towards you???? He needs to be firm and put a stop to this rubbish. It is not fair to put the blame on you. And stop blaming yourself. Speak up, defend yourself too, do not be at the mercy of your inlaws as your actions too would make them bold. What nonsense, telling your husband to divorce you. Is their son a child???? He choose whom to love. If it is your fault, it is also your husband’s fault too afterall your aunty and his brother came to leave in your house
    You people should let them be. Your aunty has tried. Let them be and wish them luck. This life is hard, we should all try and make ourselves happy and know that there are many thing beyond our control and understanding

  4. Haba the guy isnt a baby na and so is your aunt…leave them alone and focus on your own family I see nothing bad in them getting married to each other so far they are okay with it and respect each other ..forgive yourself enjoy your marriage and let it go abegi


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