Insecurities In A Relationship-Is This A Serious Red Flag? Please Advise
My name is Effra (not real name). I am 26 while my fiancé is 30. We met in January this year through a close friend in church. We both know that our relationship is towards marriage and we have started planning for the end of the year for wedding and all that. Our families are aware and given their blessings.
My only issue now is that, my guy is giving me vibes like he is going to be a possessive or jealous guy or a petty person…and that really bothers me. What I mean is, sometimes we have misunderstandings and the way he behaves is giving me cause for worry.
So for example, we both have each other’s picture on our dp. But once we have any small misunderstanding, he will remove my picture from his dp. I find that childish cos I don’t remove his own picture when we have a misunderstanding. Same thing he does for screen saver. He will change his screen saver from my picture to his mother or family members.
Next thing,he will start quoting inspirational nonsense on social media. Like…trust no one…em, they say they love you but they stab you behind your back….and bla bla bla. I find it annoying that instead of talking to me to sort our issues, he will be making indirect posts about our issue on Facebook.
In April, he bought me an iphone for my birthday. Well, since then, my ears have not rested. When we had a small issue, he asked me to return the phone. Ha… I thought he was joking. He said how many people buy expensive phones for their girlfriend’s? So, I returned the phone and broke up with him.
Later, he came apologizing. That he feels insecure about me…that he does those things so I can feel how much he fears loosing me…that he is trying to protect his heart from hurt so he tends to do things like that …that I am young and fine…and that he knows guys may be after me…so he is doing everything to make me happy but I don’t appreciate him. His idea of making me happy is post my picture as his dp abi buying me iphone?
I told him I cannot handle his insecurities and if he does not change, that we better move on. Since then, he has not removed my picture on his dp until yesterday. I went for a wedding yesterday…my phone was on silent through out so when he was calling, I did not hear. There was a terrible traffic too,so when I got home, I just sent straight to bed.
This morning, I woke up to see that he called several times yesterday and because it was such a busy day and I did not call him back…he has gone to change his dp again. And went on ig to say: when they say you are the love of their life but they don’t call you or return your calls all day.
Like seriously, is this what we will be dealing with? I don taya. Is this a red flag? Am I going to be expecting this kind of reaction every time things don’t go his way? My guy is good Christian guy but I think he has serious insecurity issues and its beginning to bother me. Please advise…how do I deal with this?
I am so upset that me too…I have removed his picture from my dp. Me too, I can be petty na. Please tell me that I am not over reacting….Abeg…is this worth my time or should I move on?
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