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I Am Scared Of The Future-Will My Marriage Be About Suspicions & Domestic Violence?

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I Am Scared Of The Future-Will My Marriage Be About Suspicions & Domestic Violence?

Hi,

I need your help. I don’t know if my life is in danger but I need to speak up before its too late. That will not be my portion. So, my story is that I am married to a naval officer. We have been married for 3  years.  We met five years ago when he proposed to me after he was my client for two years.

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Yes, he was my client. I was a runs girl or what you call escort when I met my husband. Well, how I became an escort is story for another day but I was doing the job of an escort to support my education and poor family. Escort is different from prostitute cos I was not the regular type that stands on the roadside. Escorts are hired to attend or accompany rich men to parties.

We make them feel good and we get paid alot. I did that for almost a two years. During that time, I met my husband, a naval officer who liked me alot. He used to be fascinated that I was doing this kind of job but he never judged me. Anytime he was in town, he would call me to spend the weekend with him. He was a divorcee.

After a while, he said he wants to take me out of the business and make me his permanent mistress. I told him no. I don’t want any man to own me cos if that happens, I may not have my freedom again. Then he said he actually wants us to date for a while and maybe get married.

I told him, I will give it a trial. So, we dated for like  2months. I stopped going on escort jobs and by the third month, we got married traditionally. I got pregnant the first month of my marriage and had a baby boy. Everything seemed good except when he travelled which he did alot. My husband was always sent on official trips around the country and sometimes he is being sent to training abroad.

During one of his absence, a friend of mine ,from my past life invited me and some of our former colleagues to her birthday party. I did not want to go cos I am a married woman but she kept begging so I asked my husband. My husband was like, he trust me and if I want to go , I can go.

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At the party, it was cool, my single friends had it going, drinking, smoking and sometimes messing around with some of the men at the party. I kept my cool cos I wanted to be respectful to my husband and my marriage. My friends called me a kill joy but I did not mind.

However, someone slipped molly into my drink and I actually began to loose concentration. After a while, I knew someone was kissing me but I was under the influence of the molly and I could not make any good decision. I and my friends did some  wild things and I must have allowed someone finger me…I dont remember if there was more than that…

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I regretted what happened till tomorrow …I trusted everyone around me but someone thought it was a joke to slip molly into my drink so I can have fun at the party. They felt I was too stiff and being a joy killer…well, I should expect that from my friends right? But maybe the person who did it did not know I was keeping faithful to my husband.

The next day I was so worried. Like I said, I only remember kissing or maybe touching someone but I felt so guilty. I cried and cried. When my husband called later that day, he asked how was my party, I told him fine. He was like…ah ah…just fine? Please gist me jare. Did you not have fun with you girls?

To me, he was someone I thought I could trust and tell anything even if it meant I confessed to kissing someone. I told him yes that things went wild but I tried to remain cool until someone slipped a molly into my drink. He then said what happened after…again…I was just being innocent and telling him the truth…I told him I don’t think anything happened but I may have kissed someone or someone may have kissed me.

My husband did not believe my story. He started to shout on the phone and said how could I have allowed that to happen? That why didn’t I leave immediately I saw the girls making out with other men? Well, that means I should have left immediately I got there. I was cool…I did not misbehave…it was not my fault…someone drugged me for goodness sake.

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My husband began to say that I am a slut…once a slut…always a slut…that he knows I f*cked men at the party. I was so hurt. The conversation ended very badly. He did not pick my call for several days after that call. Like a week later, he came back home. I begged and begged him… he was so angry and he was shouting all through.

However, he began to relax after the second day he was at home. I apologized again and again and I thought all has been forgiven. When he was about to travel next time, he got me a body guard and said the body guard will be going out with me going forward.

I really did not like the idea but I guess he just wanted to make sure I don’t get into any trouble again…and I cant blame him for having some trust issues especially knowing my background. But what now happened was that this body guard now seemed to be telling him tales about me. When I went to market, I told the BG to stay in the car…like how will he be following me around in the market or saloon or the mall?

The BG made things worse. I don’t know why the BG told tales about me but I told my husband to fire him and he cursed me out. Calling me names and names. I then began to feel really scared …scared that my husband will never really trust me again. Then, I found out I was pregnant five weeks after my husband travelled.

When I told him I was pregnant. He was silent. He then said…whos baby is it? I was shocked? How can he ask me that? I went for a party almost three months ago…I did not get pregnant after…how can he say whos responsible? I told him f*ck you cos I will no longer accept to be treated this way.

My husband called me back and I refused to pick his call. I told him I will not speak to him until he apologizes. My husband returned and soon as he got home, he descended on me and started to beat me up. He cursed me and I think he wanted to beat me and take out the pregnancy.

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I was so injured that I had to be taken to the hospital. I was treated and bedridden for 5 days. I was ready to quit the marriage but my husband began to beg for forgiveness. He said jealousy and rage took over him. That he cannot imagine me f*cking another man…that he loves me so much. When I was discharged…I could not speak to him for days. I regretted marrying him. I feel like he will never trust me…

Yes, I have a past …yes…I misbehaved at my friend’s party but none of these are my fault…I had no choice when I became an escort…he knows that…he knows everything that happened to me and he still married me…and I went to the party only after he gave his permission…I never thought someone would drug me or try to kiss me…did I?

Now, I am fearful for my life. I must say I really did not see this coming. I married a naval officer and the thought of quitting this marriage scares me. What if he refuses to divorce me? He has the powers to end my life. He may seize my children too. So, I need advise…what should I do?

Yes, he has apologized and promised not to beat me again but I am still very fearful. I don’t know what the future holds for me in this marriage…will he be suspicious of me every time? Will his anger continue when he suspects and has not even confirmed his suspicions?

I am six months pregnant and living in fear. I was advised by someone to report him to his superiors at work cos the navy frown at their officers beat their wives. But what if that does not end well…or should I just trust that he will keep to his word and don’t beat me anymore?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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I Am Scared Of The Future-Will My Marriage Be About Suspicions & Domestic Violence?
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. You made a great mistake by reuniting with your old friends who still live the former life you had already left for marriage. They lured you into this mess,your marriage was fine and beautiful until you went for that demonic party which was a trap set for you by your friends and you didn’t know it. You think they are happy you are married? Well,you have to remove fear because of your pregnancy if not your bp will rise ooo. Since he has apologized, I will suggest you desist from your demonic friends and behave like a married woman that you are then if he beats you again,you can go ahead and report him to his Superiors. It is well with you,once you are married you have to forget and leave every past and dirty life ooo. Pray too

  2. Communication is the key.
    Talk to him.
    Still affirm your innocence about the party you went that whatever happened wasn’t intentional.
    Tell him about your fears. Tearfully tell him you love him and if he loves you, he should assure you he won’t beat you again because the fear is affecting you and it might affect your condition.
    I believe God will touch his heart.

  3. You and your husband needs deliverance, you need deliverance from your past behaviors, when you are involved with men, the behavior just don’t go away when you are married, because it’s spiritual, those demonic spirits of lust and sexual immorality are still in you. You will be tempted when your husband is not around. Once you are delivered and spirit filled the desires for parties will also died. Your husband also need deliverance from jealousy and controlling spirits.

  4. Reporting him would make things worst. You both should talk things out he has rights not to trust you cause of the past plus what happened recently at the party. So I would advice you both sit and talk, do those things you used to do for him when you just started the relationship. When he is in a good mood someday ask him.ehat he wants, clearly he just needs a faithful wife give that to him, disconnect yourself from those old friends avoid those parties and if you must go make sure you go with him your husband.
    Divorcing him is difficult, you have kids now. You both just have to look for a way to make the marriage work.

  5. Nobody drugged you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Is not your fault rather is your husbands fault for allowing you go to the party right.

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