HomeAdviceI Am In love With A Guy I Am Far Richer Than

I Am In love With A Guy I Am Far Richer Than


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I need a candid, serious and matured advice. I am a lady of 28yrs I stay in Abuja and work here. I am from south south in Nigeria. I recently moved to an area in Abuja and was thinking of a church to go so I went to a church closer to my house and I enjoy the service and I met this cute dark handsome guy in the church. Althrough the service my attention was on him, his personality and dress sense attracted me to him. I like slim guyz and tall guys because I am tall. So after service I went home, thinking about him and looking forward to Sunday morning to go to church to see my crush.

I love the fact that this guy true loves God. One thing led to another we had to start talking and I fell even deeper inlove with him, he is a graduate and works in an IT Media firm. It’s been 18 months now we have been talking and we are so fond of ourselves and absolutely we are catching feelings for each other but he has not said anything about relationship yet.

I am super convinced that he has no relationship, I asked our pastor stylishly and he told me the guy is not in any relationship. This guy is a keeper, has character, treats me with uttermost respect and value. The way he looks into my eyes makes me know he has a thing in his heart for me. Note I have been to his house severally, he stays in a single studio apartment while I stay in a flat and still he is not intemidated at all. He has never asked me for money at all and never pushed for sex, and we have not had sex. We buy things for each other occasionally, like he reciprocates and appreciates my efforts.
Recently we were discussing and he Opened up to me that his salary is 80,000 and he is seriously thinking of how he can settle down with that and that’s his major source of Income apart from other stuff he does. He has a registered company that he is working on already.

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I can see him pushing and making all efforts to improve himself. Me on the other side I make 250,000 monthly though I have not told him. I truly love this guy and I want to settle with him but on 80,000 naira income monthly. I was thinking could it be the reason why he has not asked me out yet after 18 months.
I told my girlfriends about it not relating or referring to him, my girlfriends, they said I should not settle for less I should look for a man who earns higher.

Please people here are my concerns.

1. I love this guy but he has not said anything about relationship yet, how do I make him ask me out
2. Am I settling for less with 80,000 as his salary, will he abandon family responsibility to me in the future.
3. Should I tell him how much I earn , will he not take advantage of me
4. Should I move on its been 18months but truly my heart is peaceful with him, we laugh we smile we encourage each other and we build each other.
5. Should I follow my girlfriends advice to look for someone who earns higher.
6. There is a guy who has been on my neck for 9 months now he works in NNPC, DPR has a car and comfort but I see a toxic red flag in him that’s making me scared of him, yet he won’t give up he is from south south as well
7. I spoke with my aunt and she said to me if she has her way she will make sure I never have contact with my girlfriends who don’t understand life and who are not ready for marriage. My aunt told me that she feels the guy in my church is my God ordained husband. My mom also said the same thing that the guy is ok but she would have preferred someone from south south. My church guy is from middle belt
8. Many things are running through my mind I know I love him.


1. He loves God and genuinely Born again Christian
2. He is sincerely and honest person
3. He is sacrificial and gives me listening ears.
4. He is very mature he seniors me with 6-7 yrs
5. He just a calm person and very organized and visionary
Please help me make the right decision by airing out your opinion.
Right now he is the only not too rich guy in my life who I expect him to ask me out and he has not. Other toaster’s are super rich and they are on my neck trust me I am pretty beautiful light skin girl.


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  1. This is serious but for real sis, as long as he hasn’t asked you out you shouldn’t be having these thoughts.
    I know in your thoughts you have finished living your life with him already but do you know what’s in his mind?
    If he hasn’t asked you out, consider that he’s not interested or you’ll truly be heartbroken when he introduces someone else to you.
    Some people are that friendly but that doesn’t mean they want to settle down with you.
    Please get your mind and heart off this guy and focus on God, yourself and career.
    When he asks you out then you can start having conversations with him about your future together.

    Please, remove your mind sis before you get hurt. All you see is not always all there is. Forget how he looks at you. He’s your friend and that’s it.
    Stop yourself before you get hurt.

  2. Take your mind off that guy until he opens up with his intentions towards you. What if he doesn’t want anything deep with you?
    In case he wants you as a wife, make sure you look for a way to assist in making his company stand before he starts the marriage rites

  3. Based on your story, you both are just friends n nothing more. If he loves you and wants to marry you, he should tell you. You shouldn’t be pressured into getting married to someone else too cos of money or whatever. Remember it’s a lifetime you are building, not just a temporal relationship. Ask him where you stand in his life and future plans for you so these assumptions can stop

  4. Dear sister, if you like a guy, tell him, 18 months friendship is good, tell him how you feel. On the salary issue, if you truly love him, that won’t be a problem with you, just be smart about it, but unfortunately these days, our money and status consciousness is terrible. Those your friends, are talking like the normal so called feminists who claim equality but when chances open for them to prove their theory, then they go I can’t marry a guy that earns lesser than me….I’m sure you understand me, I’m not bashing women, I’m just being honest. Your mum and aunty said they fell its your GOD ordained husband, pls don’t fall for all those stuffs, its your choice, so you see I’m balancing your friends side and your mum/aunty side. Just be smart and careful cos heartbreak is real oo…study him VERY WELL, don’t rush into it, many guys and girls have dated thinking the other partner was an angel but as time went on, they saw the demon..im sure you get me. So sister, all the best. GOD bless you. I am Akin, I’m also available, I earn 500k monthly…. Lol

  5. This life no balance oooo,huh. Anyway take a break from the guy for now and see what he will do,what he will do will determine what you will tell him. Like take a break, he will definitely want to know why abi,then tell him your mind,not that you are desperate or trying to be forward or asking him out indirectly. Just let him know that you guys have been together for 18months and he hasn’t shown any interest, what does he want? There is no crime in asking such from a guy who is older than you with 6-7years ,him no be baby na. You are 28+ 6 or 7=34 or 35years old,the guy suppose don dey plan marriage by now but please don’t reveal your salary. Once you see any sign of seriousness please do not hesitate to support a nice guy like him. It is well with you,don’t allow friends make you loose your potential husband, all that glitters no be gold my dear. God has a way of bringing two people together for marriage ooo.


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