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I Am Loosing My Marriage & Loosing My Mind-Pls Advice


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I Am Loosing My Marriage & Loosing My Mind-Pls Advice


Please I need your help. I am loosing my mind, please advice me. I got married to Mike, my husband 7 years ago. I was working in the bank, I was very happy and getting on very well with dating. I was not lacking in my relationships but when I met Michael, it was like he swept me off my feet. Smooth guy, rich and handsome.

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It was valentine and he surprised me in the office with flowers, gifts…every woman that day wanted to be in my shoes. That was when I agreed to go to dinner with him and the rest is history. We got married a year later. Mike has never given me any cause for worry. He took care of me and convinced me to leave my banking job to look after our children.

Now, we have two boys and I am a stay at home mom which is not easy. I have my cars and Mike takes care of us well. However, Mike’s ex whom I found out was in his life for 11 years but they broke up and she relocated to US. This lady started messing with Mike and Mike became something else.

I found out cos Mike would try to hide from me to take this woman’s calls. I became worried and told Mike he was wrong for doing that and guess what mu husband said: I am sorry…I could never stop loving Kylie. What…how do you profess love for another woman to your own wife?

Apparently, they were soul mates…Mike still loves her even with me and his boys. I was unhappy but what could I do? Mike would not mind if I divorced him cos he made it clear that no one can make him forget Kylie. I am super frustrated because Mike paid less attention to me and more to Kylie.

I was going crazy so I decided to go back to work. With alot of argument, Mike allowed me to go back to work. I was able to get back a job in banking, this time a more senior role: I had to get big clients too. I knew how to use my charisma to get clients and before long I was doing well with a long list of clients on my list.

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However, with Clients came temptation. And that is how I met Harrison. A married man but clearly had hots for me and I too was seriously tempted considering that my husband was following his Kylie around and had no care for me. I started having an affair with Harrison. I told myself Mike was doing what was best for him while I was doing what was best for me.

Body no be firewood right? However, things went south when Harrison’s wife found out about me and began to troll me. This lady even begged me to leave her husband…I felt ashamed but I did not have my own husband to love me…my own husband was with another woman for goodness sake.

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Harrison’s wife started to lay curses but I did not care. I was too hurt not knowing how much I was hurting this woman.  I guess she became so depressed that she took drugs and almost killed herself. She was discovered by her children. I felt so horrible. I wanted to die even though Harrison keeps telling me that I cannot blame myself cos their marriage was already having issues before I came into the picture.

That does not make me feel less guilty. Mike has now somehow found out about my affair with Harrison and he wants a divorce so he and Kylie can be together. He says there is no point of us staying married . But I want my marriage to work…I cannot loose my marriage even though there is no love anymore. I feel so bad that I am beginning to loose my mind. I hope I dont end up like Harrison’s wife?

Sometimes, I hear a voice asking me to end my life. Why cant Mike love me? I am still hot and pretty. Why? Why cant Mike give us a chance? I need Mike to love me please…I do not want to end up like Harrison’s wife. I feel like I am loosing everything I love and I fear for my future.

I ask God to forgive me every day for cheating but I only cheated cos my husband neglected me and still does not want me…a friend of mine wants me to go traditional but I also fear that doing that might make God angry with me. What if I loose my husband or my life in the process of getting jazz to make him love me back? What has this Kylie got that I do not have…yes they dated before me but now am his wife…did she use jazz on him?

Please advice me I am down…so down…

Anonymous (all names of the characters in the above stories have been changed to protect the identities of the characters)

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I Am Loosing My Marriage & Loosing My Mind-Pls Advice
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. When I read about how your husband cheated on you and gave you less attention, I began to feel for you, but when I read about how you started sleeping with another woman’s husband, and she begged you to leave her husband alone, but you did not leave him alone, to the point that she killed herself, I must be sincere with, even though I feel for you but sister, you were VERY GREEDY, your excuse of your husband cheating on you will never justify your own adultery, you only used your husband’s adultery to do also do adultery, so you can feel good that at least, he too is doing it, but see how you caused a fellow woman like emotional pain, and you know how it felt cos your husband did same to you, yet you allowed another woman feel that same pain cos of your GREED and WICKEDNESS, adultery is an intentional wicked act. I won’t be surprised you still slept with that WICKED Harrison guy after his wife died, i wish people know the judgement of GOD upon adultery. My dear sister, I sound harsh right..no I don’t, I’m being honest with you, for GOD’S sake a lady begged you to leave her husband alone, but you never did, and now she killed herself, so you see I’m not being harsh. You said you hear voice telling you to kil yourself, DO NOT OBEY THAT VOICE, listen to sermons, I recommend Joseph Prince, Joyce Meyer, it will help, pls download their messages immediately you read my response, your case is an URGENT EMERGENCY that needs help. Its well with you sister, but I’m really PISSED OFF, cos you caused another woman so much emotional pain that she killed herself, but the dead is gone, what can I do. GOD bless you sister, you will be fine and okay. I am Akin.

  2. Madam leave Harrison alone and take care of your home,two wrong can’t make right. Your husband is cheating and you also went cheating too with a married man,nawaooo and now he wants a divorce. Make your ways right before God from now onwards biko,thanks.

  3. Madam let me tell you the gospel truth, life is spiritual. Your fight is not with Kylie or who ever she is, your fight is with the spiritual personality hiding behind sis Kylie to destroy your marriage. Are you hearing this.

    When you deal with that spirit, you’ll have your marriage and man your back. But you can only do that if you are born again. Because if someone else do it for you, you’ll only enjoy a temporal victory but when you are armed, you’ll be able to fight.

    Stop sleeping with other men too cuz it will only compound the issue and make it worse. You remain faithful & let God reward you. God loves you enough to die for you already so don’t kill yourself. Someone has been given for you.

    So sis, get down to business leave your husband alone & stop worrying. You deal with that devil and all will be well. I believe it. If you do what is revealed to you now, you’ll have your marriage back.

    In the meantime, start seeing your husband loving you more & the children. The victory must start from your mind. So SEE your marriage restored, SEE it. Believe it. Live in it and Act like it. It maybe difficult but keep practicing and you will be happy you did.

    God bless you IJN!

  4. Some men/women married their wives/husbands because the one they really wanted left or they just couldn’t have them…their wives/husbands are just second choices,they keep it in their hearts till (In most cases) they bump into these people again..and that’s where trouble comes in..if absolute care is not taken sparks will fly and old flames will ignite.
    But as a person willing to have peace of mind,soul and retain their sanity as well as protect what they have in terms of family.. love.children.They would turn to GOD ask for help..inform their spouses..join forces against intruders.But the shortsighted ones will allow old memories awash them.. compare their spouses to the Intruders..elevate Intruders and degrade their spouses and a once happy home is again shattered.
    You have done wrong..very wrong
    It’s okay you’re repentant
    Two wrongs never make right..you have given him leeway to hasten him plans and dump you.
    The only option left is GOD..the one you should have taken a while ago instead of Harrison.
    DO NOT try to go “traditionally” you’ll ruin things furthermore.
    Retrace your steps back to GOD…he’s the only one who can piece up broken homes (or even anything broken whatsoever) without even leaving a trace.
    Fight for your home…a spiritual warfare of prayer and faith and determination.
    I pray you find favour with GOD and your husband..I pray for strength for you to go through this..In JESUS name.Amen!


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