I Am Loosing My Marriage & Loosing My Mind-Pls Advice
Please I need your help. I am loosing my mind, please advice me. I got married to Mike, my husband 7 years ago. I was working in the bank, I was very happy and getting on very well with dating. I was not lacking in my relationships but when I met Michael, it was like he swept me off my feet. Smooth guy, rich and handsome.
It was valentine and he surprised me in the office with flowers, gifts…every woman that day wanted to be in my shoes. That was when I agreed to go to dinner with him and the rest is history. We got married a year later. Mike has never given me any cause for worry. He took care of me and convinced me to leave my banking job to look after our children.
Now, we have two boys and I am a stay at home mom which is not easy. I have my cars and Mike takes care of us well. However, Mike’s ex whom I found out was in his life for 11 years but they broke up and she relocated to US. This lady started messing with Mike and Mike became something else.
I found out cos Mike would try to hide from me to take this woman’s calls. I became worried and told Mike he was wrong for doing that and guess what mu husband said: I am sorry…I could never stop loving Kylie. What…how do you profess love for another woman to your own wife?
Apparently, they were soul mates…Mike still loves her even with me and his boys. I was unhappy but what could I do? Mike would not mind if I divorced him cos he made it clear that no one can make him forget Kylie. I am super frustrated because Mike paid less attention to me and more to Kylie.
I was going crazy so I decided to go back to work. With alot of argument, Mike allowed me to go back to work. I was able to get back a job in banking, this time a more senior role: I had to get big clients too. I knew how to use my charisma to get clients and before long I was doing well with a long list of clients on my list.
However, with Clients came temptation. And that is how I met Harrison. A married man but clearly had hots for me and I too was seriously tempted considering that my husband was following his Kylie around and had no care for me. I started having an affair with Harrison. I told myself Mike was doing what was best for him while I was doing what was best for me.
Body no be firewood right? However, things went south when Harrison’s wife found out about me and began to troll me. This lady even begged me to leave her husband…I felt ashamed but I did not have my own husband to love me…my own husband was with another woman for goodness sake.
Harrison’s wife started to lay curses but I did not care. I was too hurt not knowing how much I was hurting this woman. I guess she became so depressed that she took drugs and almost killed herself. She was discovered by her children. I felt so horrible. I wanted to die even though Harrison keeps telling me that I cannot blame myself cos their marriage was already having issues before I came into the picture.
That does not make me feel less guilty. Mike has now somehow found out about my affair with Harrison and he wants a divorce so he and Kylie can be together. He says there is no point of us staying married . But I want my marriage to work…I cannot loose my marriage even though there is no love anymore. I feel so bad that I am beginning to loose my mind. I hope I dont end up like Harrison’s wife?
Sometimes, I hear a voice asking me to end my life. Why cant Mike love me? I am still hot and pretty. Why? Why cant Mike give us a chance? I need Mike to love me please…I do not want to end up like Harrison’s wife. I feel like I am loosing everything I love and I fear for my future.
I ask God to forgive me every day for cheating but I only cheated cos my husband neglected me and still does not want me…a friend of mine wants me to go traditional but I also fear that doing that might make God angry with me. What if I loose my husband or my life in the process of getting jazz to make him love me back? What has this Kylie got that I do not have…yes they dated before me but now am his wife…did she use jazz on him?
Please advice me I am down…so down…
Anonymous (all names of the characters in the above stories have been changed to protect the identities of the characters)
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