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All My Relationships End Up In Disasters-Is It My Destiny To Share My Husband?


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All My Relationships End Up In Disasters-Is It My Destiny To Share My Husband?

Hello ma,

I just want to ask you something in confidence. If you share it, please leave out my name. I know there are many other girls in my situation and I will really appreciate their honest feedback. So, the thing is, I am 26 years old, I am working as a Boutique manager. For the last four years, I have been in three different relationships and all of them did not work out.

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You see, I am an only child of my parents (from my mother’s side) and they have been looking forward to me getting married, so my mother can have more children. When my mother could not have more children after me, my dad got a mistress who gave him two children, one boy and girl but they never really married cos he said he promised my mother not to marry anyone else but her.

However, having siblings from outside woman put strain on my parents marriage. I hated seeing my mother feeling bad that my father had an affair with someone outside but I used to tell her not to worry cos I will carry on from where she stopped. I want to get married and have at least six children, my mother will have plenty children around her before her time comes.

Unfortunately sha, things are not working out with my relationship and I dont know why. Its either the guy am with is cheating or once the relationship starts getting serious, they kinda just disappear. Last year November, I met someone. He is 43 years old and well to do. But he is a married man. Married with two wives and children. I did not want to date him but he said he wants to marry me, that he is wants a third wife.

To even make me feel comfortable, he introduced me to his wives who were surprisingly very friendly. He is even a Christian. He believes that the bible allowed polygamous marriages to prevent adultery in the olden days…so he prefers to have several women as legal wives than to cheat with outsiders. I was confused cos this man was so nice, he bought me many things, spent money, showed me love more than all the guys I ever dated.

Where I was being confused, I told my mother and she agreed that I can marry him if I love him but my dad completely is against it. He said he got involved with another woman just to have children . That he does not want me to make the same mistake he made …. he is against having two women or more as wives cos jealousy might come in and destroy the man or even the wives or children involved. That he regrets having a mistress but how can he say that he regrets it when its my turn…my mother was able to manage it…why can’t I manage too?

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I told my friend (Jemina) about my dilemma with this matter. My friend said we should be praying about it but that the man is too old for me, that he is twice my age. Guess what, this year, around March, Jemina my friend got pregnant for this man. Same man she told me was too old for me. I was so upset and confronted the man and he said, Jemina told him that I was no longer interested, that infact I was double dating another guy.

Jemina told lies about me and went ahead to seduce my man, got pregnant for her and because he said he cannot have children outside wedlock, they got married. I wanted to kill Jemina but she apologized and said she fell in love with him accidentally. I thought all was over but my man is still begging me to marry him and be his fourth and last wife.

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My man has said he will make up for getting involved with my friend and I will be his most loved wife of all. That he will do anything I want. Before, there were two wives….now three…if I agree, I will be fourth…I love this man I wont lie…he has treated me better than any man I know. I just am afraid of being in a polygamous home even though I know I will be well cared for.

And the other thing is, my dad has said he will never agree to it…that over his dead body will I marry into such a home. My mom too is scared cos she feels my friend Jemina might hurt me if I become co-wife like her. But my man is telling me to relax and that I will not regret it. I know some ladies like me who are in this kind of relationship. Please what advise and tips can you give me if I go against my father’s wish and be a fourth wife?

How do people in polygamous marriage carry on and how do I avoid problems in future with the other wives and of course Jemina, my wicked friend? I dont want to regret my actions in future…I am happy with this man, just my dad and how will I cope with the other women? I feel anger knowing he sleeps with my friend…abi arch enemy Jemina…and the other women…how na….

I just feel confused but I also feel this is my destiny…please advise me.


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All My Relationships End Up In Disasters-Is It My Destiny To Share My Husband?
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Why would you want to have children so your mother can have children…. That’s wrong, marry cos you want to marry

    Why will you marry to be a third wife, and now thinking fourth wife…why, pls tell me your reason. You are bring impatient sister, wait for your own. Do not rush but he patient. GOD bless you sister. I am Akin

  2. Hello sis I will encourage you to please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave the man alone and wait and pray and wait and pray and wait. God is closer than you think please u can still wait ask the 35year old single ladies please wait please no polygamous situation is easy please wait and remember your enemy in Jemima is waiting please leave them and him and one day u will smile just wait and pray

  3. Hmm mm.this is serious please leave the man alone, d man who loves u will never sleep with ur friend at ur back without confirm the truth story from u! That man is not for u


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