We Have To Wait For Six Years Before Getting A Divorce-Pls Advise
I was transferred to Abuja three months ago. Its supposed to be a one year transfer to relief a colleague that went on study leave. On getting to Abuja office, the HR Manager was very nice to me. Pretty woman with a nice smile and personality. I was lodged at the company guest house and I resumed work the next day.
Everyday, the HR manager, Evelyn would come to my desk, smile at me and ask me how I am settling in. I told her everything was fine but food is my problem cos I cant cook and buying of food was not cheap or fun in the area where our company lodge was located.
That was how, this nice lady started bringing me home cooked food to my lodge every evening. I was surprised but grateful. She said she has a restaurant too and on her way back home, she would stop by to drop me some good food.
Evelyn was also a great conversationist I noticed. Of course, I knew she was dropping food for me to get closer to me and I was not in a good place in my relationship, I welcomed Evelyn’s company. She was shy about her intentions but I decided to take matters into my own hands, I made my move, told her I liked her and asked her if she was in a relationship, she said yes but its complicated.
When I asked her how complicated, she said she does not want to talk about it. I decided not to bother, I moved in,made my move and she got what she wanted. Evelyn is a 36 year old lady, very curvy and pretty. I liked her alot and we been seeing each other since I resumed here in Abuja. I really like her and I even began to think we could take this relationship further if things continue like this.
Last week, Evelyn told me that she will not be able to see me for anymore because her man was going to be around in town for a while. I was like…so you really are in a relationship? how serious? why not break up if its complicated. That was when she told me she is actually married. Like what? My heart skipped a beat.
How could she have not told me she was married all these while? why would a married woman be cheating on her husband. From what she told me, she and her husband are married for 14 years now. Their marriage was not out of love, she married him cos his family put pressure on him to marry. Theirs was not a marriage of love and the man says he is no longer attracted to her cos after she had their son, she began to put on weight and he wants her to do surgery to loose weight but Evelyn has said no.
Their son is 12 years old and lives with the father in UK. The man visits Nigeria, to check on his businesses ,once on six months. He does not want to divorce Evelyn but he does not love her with her current body shape. Evelyn said she does not want a divorce cos the husband is rich and powerful and will make sure she does not see her son if they divorce.
So Evelyn sees her son when he is on holiday from school in UK but he lives with his dad most times. I felt bad that Evelyn did not tell me that she is married and also bad because she is stuck in a marriage that the man does not even look at her. Clearly, the man also has many side chicks in UK and in Nigeria.
I must confess I miss Evelyn but knowing now that she is married gives me very serious concern. I am not concentrating at work. All I think about is her. I think I might need to request a transfer back home to PH cos its hard to stay focus when all I think of is another man’s wife.
If I do not leave here, I will still sleep with Evelyn cos I may have become quite obsessed with her. She is with her husband and her son. But I am suffering here. I am in love with a married woman and I am loosing my mind. That is when the thought of making Evelyn leave her husband came to me.
I know she is saying she is staying because of her child but perhaps if she falls in love with me like I have fallen in love with her, maybe she will leave the man…get joint custody of her child. I will support her to the best of my ability. I want to tell her my plan but at the same time, I do not know how she will react.
Evelyn is now avoiding me at work, being very professional and all. But I am dying inside me. Is this lust or love? I feel like I can’t live without her right now. How do I take this woman from a husband who does not even want her?
Last Friday, I begged her to talk to me. She called me to her office and we talked. I told her how I was feeling …she said she too feels the same way but she will not leave her husband until her son is 18 years. By then, there will be no need to be fighting for custody since he will be a grown boy.
Evelyn is willing to be with me when the husband leave but no leaving her husband until her son is 18 years old. That is in six years time. Will I be able to wait that long? My mind tells me not to wait…to pack up and leave Abuja but my heart is totally confused. Six years…sounds crazy right…but if it is true love…will it not be worth it?
I just not some objective answers …No, no one should blame me for their marriage…they are not married cos they do not sleep together…for years…they dont speak…they are just in a marriage prison…so their issues has nothing to do with me. I just want Evelyn to be happy with me…cos she deserves happiness and not to be stuck in a loveless marriage.
I don’t know why I feel the way I feel. I never came here for a relationship but I think I found my soul mate in Evelyn and I do know what to do…Please advise me.
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