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Should I Be Worried -My Boyfriend’s Ex Is Still Sending Him Messages To Work Things Out


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Should I Be Worried -My Boyfriend’s Ex Is Still Sending Him Messages To Work Things Out

Please I need your advice. I am in a relationship for a year plus now. I have never had any reason to suspect or doubt my boyfriend until recently. I think he may still have feelings for his ex girlfriend because he lied about something that has to do with her.

From what I know, the girl relocated abroad three years ago and they could not make a long distance relationship work, that is why they broke up. But this girl lost her twin brother and returned home for the funeral and suddenly my boyfriend could not tell me the truth.

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First, he told me he lost a friend but failed to mention this friend is the brother of his ex. So, I did not suspect anything when he travelled for the funeral in Edo state. After the funeral, my boyfriend started to take a call from a strange lady who I later found out was his ex. He had told me its his friend’s twin sister and that she is always calling cos of how devastated she was about her brother’s death.

I felt sorry for her but in the back of my mind, is your brother’s death enough reason to be calling his friend almost every time? It did not sit well with me but at the same time, I did not want to sound unsympathetic so I kept my cool.

How I got to know everything was that, this lady uploaded pictures from the funeral and tagged my boyfriend. She was thanking him for standing by her in her time of grief. And then, friends who knew them together started making comments like they wish they comeback together cos they are the perfect match.

That made me ask my boyfriend why people will be making such comments. And he said, he and the girl dated a little but they broke up when she relocated. I was like, how long did your date for? He was like, why am I poking …that they are no longer together but then I was not convinced.

I had to ask my boyfriend to either stop talking to her or end our relationship cos its inappropriate how she tagged him and people are making love comments about them. My boyfriend told me he is not talking to her anymore so I should relax. Well, I believed him until two night ago, I was with my boyfriend’s phone going through funny videos when messages started pouring in.

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It was messages from the girl. I had to read the messages and she was cursing him for ignoring her calls for the past couple of days….saying why did he tell her they can work things out if he knew he was going back to his girlfriend. That why did he make her mom and his mom believe they are working things out…

This girl was pouring her heart out, apparently she still loves him and from her messages, he seems to have told her that he wanted to work things out but then he later told her he is sorry that he has a girlfriend which is me.

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While I am happy he chose me over her…I feel sad that he even gave her any impression that they could have worked things out. I pretended that I did not read the messages and did not ask my boyfriend cos I don’t know how he will react if he finds out I know about the messages but since then, I am worried.

Clearly, they may be some feelings between them and if this girl push harder, I don’t know how things will be cos my boyfriend lied about going for a friend’s funeral when indeed it was his ex brother’s funeral and he clearly tried something with her that made her think they can work things out. And then, both mothers seem to want their relationship to work out. My boyfriend does not call me but from the messages I read, his mother has been calling her.

Where does that leave me? Should I bring up the topic with my boyfriend or should I just be watching how things pan out? I won’t lie…I am afraid of losing my boyfriend…how do I make sure that does not happen…I need your advice please.


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Photo Credit:thatsister

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Should I Be Worried -My Boyfriend's Ex Is Still Sending Him Messages To Work Things Out
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello sister. The thing is happiness is a choice, you can he happy without your boyfriend, don’t be surprised if he breaks up with you, pls don’t be at all. I keep telling people, your happiness should not come from your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband, when you love yourself, you will be less bothered about people’s attitude. Just prepare your mind that he can double date or he can break up with you anytime, it happens and will keep happening. Be happy to the point that even if he breaks up with you, you are not affected, you will be fine sister. GOD bless you. I am Akin

  2. @akin, when two people are in a relationship, there’s no way you get to love yourself 100% again. You have to share your happiness to fully love that person cos if u don’t fully love the person, u won’t really enjoy the relationship. So if break up later happened, you will definitely feel hurt and depressed no matter how hard you try to avoid or prepare for it.

    So my dear sister, the only thing you can do in this situation is to work for your relationship. The things he used to love about you, don’t stop doing them. Keep winning his heart every day if you really don’t want to lose him. If you are also the religious type, put it to God in prayer if he is the one God chose for you. While doing all that, the only thing left depends on the guy, if he still felt like leaving, there is nothing else you can do about it, you just have to sadly and reluctantly move on.

    I pray it ends in happiness for you. Shalom.

  3. Your boyfriend clearly likes you and chose you.
    These things between exes happens. When people reconnect with their ex, and they are still single, it tends to always spark up the old feelings.
    Yes your boyfriend was wrong for not telling you the truth but if he had told you you wouldn’t have take it well.
    If your boyfriend could allow you play with his phone that means he is open to an extent.
    What you should is to be the best of you. There is obviously something about you that is making him choose you over her. Just be yourself. Then when the air is calm , talk to him about your concerns and let him assure you he is committed to you.


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