HomeAdviceMy Future In-laws Has Demanded A Marriage Cleansing Ritual-Pls Advise

My Future In-laws Has Demanded A Marriage Cleansing Ritual-Pls Advise


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My Future In-laws Has Demanded A Marriage Cleansing Ritual-Pls Advise

Good evening ma,

I would like to remain anonymous. I was in a marriage that was done traditionally for 6 years. During the marriage, I suffered alot of miscarriages and quarrels with my husband. Eventually his family convinced him to send me away. He even got someone else pregnant and they were ready to push me away from the house, I barely was able to run for my life.

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I remained single for almost four years even though I got some relationships that they just wanted nothing but s*x….like no one wants to marry a divorcee…like its a stigma. Then a friend introduced me to a handsome man from from the middle belt.

I am from the East. Initially, I was skeptical cos I have never dated someone not from the east before. I did not know much about their culture and beliefs. But this man truly was exceptional. He treats me very kind, he is very thoughtful and generous. He does not mind that I have been married before or anything…hes just so special.

We dated for almost two years and he proposed marriage to me. I accepted and he took me to meet his people who welcomed me very well. My family did not really like the fact that he is also from outside our ethnicity but they would prefer me married than remain a divorcee for the rest of my life.

We have done introduction: the traditional and court wedding is supposed to be end of this month. All of a sudden, my fiancé grandmother calls to say that there is a marriage cleansing ritual that must be conducted for me if our marriage will be fruitful. That they have gone to seek prophesy about me, that my former husband people were the ones responsible for my miscarriages.

The prophesy which I later found out is like oracle has said that if I don’t do that cleansing, I will keep on having miscarriage in my new marriage. Well, my fiancé and I are Christians so I told him there is no way I can do such a cleansing ritual; to my surprise, my fiancé supported his grand mother and said its for our own good.

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In shock, I asked him how he can be comfortable with doing traditional ritual when we are both Catholics and he said, its African tradition, not juju. That there is nothing wrong in consulting ancestors or using herbs to pray against evil people and back luck in life.

To be honest, I am confused: they have asked me to travel down to their village this weekend for the cleansing ritual. The grandmother is well known in their village, people come to her alot to see visions and they say whatever she tells you must come to pass.

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The grandmother advises people traditionally because she was trained seer but she also goes to church. This woman even have virgin Mary alter in her house but she still prays to ancestors. I am told I will wear white and the grand mother’s people will take me to the river before dawn and bathe me and wash away every evil that was following me before.

Ma, this sounds to me like juju or doing something fetish and I am very uncomfortable in doing it. How do I get away from this without offending my future in-laws? They have been so nice to me and I love them, I just never knew they believed in such? I am afraid of telling my parents because they will just end the marriage which is looking like it will even end if I refuse to engage in this ritual cleansing.

My friend told me that I should pray and fast and do it, that my man’s family must only mean well to want to cleanse any evil following me…that God will protect me. I have tried to talk to my man to see reason with me…we have never had any disagreement since we been dating, this is the first one and he is insisting that I should just humble myself and do this…that no one is thinking of hurting me…that its just tradition, not juju.

Please advise me…its this weekend and if I dont do it…my man says we cannot go on with the marriage because he does not want to enter into marriage if I do not trust him and his family. This is hard for me…what should I do please? Trust him and do the cleansing or end this marriage that is already supposed to hold at end of this month?


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My Future In-laws Has Demanded A Marriage Cleansing Ritual-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. My dear the ball is in your court,you have to decide now. This man is not from the east therefore this is what any woman that wants to be his wife must do or else. If you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, respect and follow what his tradition says or wants,if not,please end the whole thing. Do not bring Christianity into this, I beg you,give what belongs to Cesar to Cesar,don’t know if the spelling of this (Cesar)is correct bikonu,English will not kill me. My dear, people have different ways of conducting their own marriages. This is not about going to church for deliverance oooo,na your guy grand mama dey involved,so you see say the matter no be joke or play play ooo,so decide my dear,you have to decide now. May the Lord be with you nne

  2. Dear poster,
    To be candid, this is going to be a self decision either to go or not because life happens at times, BUT I Wud advice you weigh whatever decision u make based on:

    “if I decide to accept this cleansing, what If there are more traditional activities they Wud require I must take part in it” Can you cope?????

    “Your husband to be will always support his family decisions when it comes to traditional rites” Can your emotions bear this treatment???

    Kindly, settle this questions and other pressing ones that the “silent-inner-you has been asking you. Then most importantly pray pray and pray!!!!

  3. Pls don’t go, there will be more things to do in the ritual. PLS DO NOT GO, to miscarriage issue, you can go to churches where GOD resides, winners, mfm, deeper life, go to their headquarters, GOD is still alive. PLS DO NOT GO, I repeat, DO NOT GO. GOD bless you sister.

  4. Hello dear,
    Not everything is spiritual, miscarriages can happen as a result of not being compatible with your hubby, have you heard of Rhesus factor? I will like u to read on that, if your Rhesus factor isn’t compatible with your hubby miscarriages are bound to happen, there’s Rh+ and Rh-,I don’t want to go too deep on this, u can make your research…..The fact you are bathing in a river during an odd hour isn’t proper, now come to think of it, what if after the cleansing u still experience miscarriages(God forbid), what will you do? Also what if further rituals are being performed later on, can you Cope with that? Cos I can see your hubby to be is always with his people when it comes to tradition, can you tolerate that? Well the ball is in your court, it is well dear…..

  5. Hmmn
    This is deep ma. As a Christian and believers in the Bible, we are told not to have any affairs with unfruitful works of darkness.

    I will honestly advice you Not to partake with this bathing (Cleansing), it is INITIATION !

    If this will make your fiancee refuse to marry you, so be it. God will provide you with real godly husband and family and you shall have true peace of mind.

    Rest your mind in the Lord and He Shall Sustain You

  6. A lot has been said but let me add this to it. If you are truly a Believer, whatever will be yours will be yours (matt. 6:33-34).

    Your first marriage ended badly. Don’t be desperate to enter another one because of the man’s good nature. Stick to following God’s will over your life. How do u follow God like a true believer? Keep to his commandments and flee away from any appearance of evil including this ritualistic thing. If he is the right man for you, it will eventually end well. Also about the issue of miscarriage, God has not stopped doing miracles, so why will you stop depending on Him?

    Just keep praying and trusting God, and never let your faith wane down. God will surely answer your prayer one day cos He knows your heart desire, and u will surely marry the right man at the right time, and also have children at the right time. Keep the faith high. Be blessed.

  7. Hi,

    Please tell your fiancé politely that you won’t do it. It is against your Christian belief.

    The devil gives something little and takes something bigger and that’s how people open themselves up to all sorts of things.

    What will separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus? Shall children, man or trying to please everyone make you do that.

    Get deeper in Christ you and your man friend/ husband/ husband to be and stick to Gods promises. If you have faith as a mustard seed it can work.

    That act displeases God and do you have any idea what supernatural transaction you will enter into should you go for the ‘cleaning’, the Apple fruit looked harmless, a fruit to give wisdom, although God said do not.

    Stand by your Christian belief please.


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