My Future In-laws Has Demanded A Marriage Cleansing Ritual-Pls Advise
Good evening ma,
I would like to remain anonymous. I was in a marriage that was done traditionally for 6 years. During the marriage, I suffered alot of miscarriages and quarrels with my husband. Eventually his family convinced him to send me away. He even got someone else pregnant and they were ready to push me away from the house, I barely was able to run for my life.
I remained single for almost four years even though I got some relationships that they just wanted nothing but s*x….like no one wants to marry a divorcee…like its a stigma. Then a friend introduced me to a handsome man from from the middle belt.
I am from the East. Initially, I was skeptical cos I have never dated someone not from the east before. I did not know much about their culture and beliefs. But this man truly was exceptional. He treats me very kind, he is very thoughtful and generous. He does not mind that I have been married before or anything…hes just so special.
We dated for almost two years and he proposed marriage to me. I accepted and he took me to meet his people who welcomed me very well. My family did not really like the fact that he is also from outside our ethnicity but they would prefer me married than remain a divorcee for the rest of my life.
We have done introduction: the traditional and court wedding is supposed to be end of this month. All of a sudden, my fiancé grandmother calls to say that there is a marriage cleansing ritual that must be conducted for me if our marriage will be fruitful. That they have gone to seek prophesy about me, that my former husband people were the ones responsible for my miscarriages.
The prophesy which I later found out is like oracle has said that if I don’t do that cleansing, I will keep on having miscarriage in my new marriage. Well, my fiancé and I are Christians so I told him there is no way I can do such a cleansing ritual; to my surprise, my fiancé supported his grand mother and said its for our own good.
In shock, I asked him how he can be comfortable with doing traditional ritual when we are both Catholics and he said, its African tradition, not juju. That there is nothing wrong in consulting ancestors or using herbs to pray against evil people and back luck in life.
To be honest, I am confused: they have asked me to travel down to their village this weekend for the cleansing ritual. The grandmother is well known in their village, people come to her alot to see visions and they say whatever she tells you must come to pass.
The grandmother advises people traditionally because she was trained seer but she also goes to church. This woman even have virgin Mary alter in her house but she still prays to ancestors. I am told I will wear white and the grand mother’s people will take me to the river before dawn and bathe me and wash away every evil that was following me before.
Ma, this sounds to me like juju or doing something fetish and I am very uncomfortable in doing it. How do I get away from this without offending my future in-laws? They have been so nice to me and I love them, I just never knew they believed in such? I am afraid of telling my parents because they will just end the marriage which is looking like it will even end if I refuse to engage in this ritual cleansing.
My friend told me that I should pray and fast and do it, that my man’s family must only mean well to want to cleanse any evil following me…that God will protect me. I have tried to talk to my man to see reason with me…we have never had any disagreement since we been dating, this is the first one and he is insisting that I should just humble myself and do this…that no one is thinking of hurting me…that its just tradition, not juju.
Please advise me…its this weekend and if I dont do it…my man says we cannot go on with the marriage because he does not want to enter into marriage if I do not trust him and his family. This is hard for me…what should I do please? Trust him and do the cleansing or end this marriage that is already supposed to hold at end of this month?
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email us at [email protected] or Whatsapp +2348029870309