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I Lost A Very Good Man But I Am Still In Love With Him-Pls Advise


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I Lost A Very Good Man But I Am Still In Love With Him-Pls Advise

Good afternoon ma,

I just need your humble opinion: I know for some people, this matter may not be such a serious one but I am having insecurities about my relationship. The thing is, I been involved in a long distance relationship for almost two years now. We met online and since then, we FaceTime every day, its been beautiful.

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This guy lives in Turkey and I am in Nigeria, I just finished my service and we intend to get married this year. Even though we have not met, its like we already have. I mean, I have met his family, we talk everyday, he cares for me and my family, provides for us and he makes sure I know everything about him, his family, his job …etc

The only thing that has seriously put me off is that when he came down to visit me for the first time in April this year, I found out that I am taller than him. I was like wow…he too was a bit surprised cos we talked about our height before but never did we both realize I was taller.

Secondly, when we made love, I found out he has a small penis. Well, not that small but smaller than what I have seen in my previous relationships. Well, I cannot judge him but after we both saw each and he returned to base, I noticed I have not been feeling him so much.

We still talk wedding plans but I just do not feel enthusiastic about the whole thing. He noticed and asked me what the issue is. He said if its cos of his height, then I should tell him if I want to go ahead or end things cos he does not like how am behaving. I told him to give me some time to think and he said ok.

Through out May, I did not talk to him more than once in a week but before we talk every day. I miss him alot but I am concerned that feelings are not enough. I am not a materialistic. person but this physical features is seriously bothering me. I want to end things but I feel like I am really going to disappoint him cos he has invested alot of time and money and emotions into our relationship: he is truly a good man.

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I discussed with my friend who I tell everything…she said I should not be looking at physical features but how a man treats you…I tried to listen to her but it was not working ,so I summon courage and told my family and I broke up with this guy. It was very painful and I was truly hurt for weeks. I cried my eyes off infact.

My man took it well, he wished me well and blocked me on all platforms. In June, my man sent me a text and said he respects my person, so he wants to tell me he still wants to get married this year and would like to pursue a relationship with my friend. He said he asked her and she said she is afraid of what I will think ….so he is telling me so I can free my friend to date him.

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I just replied its ok. But deep in my heart, I felt somehow. Like he wants to make me feel bad. Yes, he wants to marry but must it be someone close to me, knowing the history we share? I was disappointed in my friend too but I could not tell her. I just ignored her when she chatted me saying thank you for giving us your blessing.

What stupid blessing. That girl is a betrayer. I know I should not be feeling bad but she is my friend…what happened to girl code. Anyway, I decided to focus on my life and let them be happy ….but recently, I been seeing my ex post pictures of him and my friend…I think she went to visit him in Turkey and I am dying with serious jealousy.

That is why I am writing please….is it possible that this guy that I dated and planned to marry this year could easily or possibly be in love with someone else so fast after our break up? Is he trying to make me jealous by going for my friend?

I regret to say this but I regret my actions…I acted too hasty and I wish to be forgiven and given a second chance. I know that makes me look stupid but he is not married to her yet and I may still have a shot. Should I still try and beg him for a second chance? Its either a yes or no but if I don’t ask…I feel I will forever regret my action before its too late.

Should I ask him or just ignore? Yes…his height used to bother me but I truly now see that physical features is not what makes one happy in a relationship. And his manhood is …well, s*x is important in relationship too but I know there are other ways to bring in excitement into the bedroom too.

I miss his personality…his love and care…I just wish I had someone to better advice me before…please what can I do now? Or is it too late now?


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I Lost A Very Good Man But I Am Still In Love With Him-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Move on,this is the consequences of not valuing what you have until it is taken away from you. Lesson learnt, marriage is beyond all these your physical attributes. Allow the guy enjoy with your friend abeg,now she has gone to meet him in Turkey,you see better husband with 100 yards you dey here dey make choice. After spending somuch on you,family and all. You are blessed

  2. When you don’t value something it will surely leave you .. don’t waste your time my dear.. he is not the kind of man that will leave your friend for you..

    Next time seek good and sound counsel before taking any sensitive decision like this..

    Best of luck..

  3. So sorry dear, it’s too late based on your narration. This man doesn’t look like one who will dump another for you.

    If you can be very constructive, you may let out ONLY your regret to the man just to make yourself free of personal guilt but don’t be foolish to lure the man for any reason or think he would choose you again.

    Move on baby, life happens……..
    It’s a lesson
    Be happy
    Patiently await another chance but with a different man

  4. Your story is somehow, you met online and he came to have sex (SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS SIN) with you all the way from Turkey.

    Then you stopped loving him. Both of you were not in love, it was probably lust or mere attraction.

    Why don’t you date who you can meet physically. Just forget it sister, move on. Forget this ever happened to you. You will be fine sister. GOD bless you.

  5. God bless you with something bigger ,but u decided to throw it way wit pride ! Nothing you need advice for on this issue u fuck up in a big way… U misused ur opportunity badly


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