My Husband Walked Out Of Our Marriage After 11 Years Of Maltreatment-Pls Advise
Why are some men so ungrateful and egoistic? When you marry a good woman, you should be grateful and not treat her bad. So, my marriage has been nothing short of disappointment from day one. When we got married eleven years ago, my husband was doing well financially. I also had a good paying job.
The issue however was that my husband never respected my opinion as a wife. His siblings moved in with us and we were having several challenges. From disrespect to abuse. Anytime I complained, my husband would say they are my in-laws, that its my duty to make them feel happy in his house.
Anytime they did anything, my husband will take sides with them. They became so bold that they will even be dictating for me. I was raised in a very godly home so divorce was out of the question for me. Even when I knew my husband was cheating on me with several women, I still maintained being a virtuous wife.
In 2017, my husband was defrauded to the tune of 290M. That almost killed him. But thank God, he did not die. Since his business collapsed, I had to be the bread winner of the house. Even as the breadwinner of the house, my husband and his siblings continued to disrespect me. I took it with pain and humility.
This continued for a long time. Every time, they will be telling me this is their brother’s house and that its only my children that are legitimate, that me, I am an outsider. Four years ago, I went to a woman empowerment program and from there I learnt how to start saving and planning for my future.
Without my husbands knowledge, I bought a and and built a house. My plan was to use it for rent and be getting additional income. Unfortunately, we lost our house this year cos the bank my husband borrowed from for his business, came and gave us quit notice.
Everyone felt we were going to relocate to village cos that where my husband has another house but I told my husband that I am not going to village. I told him about the house and that me and my children will be moving into the house. By the grace of God, I finished decorating the house and me and my children moved in.
When my husband’s siblings saw I built a house, they wanted to come and live with us but I refused. I only even allowed my husband to come with us cos he is the father of y children if not, he too would follow his rude and wicked family members. Yes, I built a big twin duplex and boys quaters but these people will not smell near the house.
They tried to make trouble that I used their brother’s money to build the house but they failed cos I went to police to report them and police picked them up and warned them not to come near me or my house again or they will be arrested. My husband now threatened to divorce me if I do not allow his siblings.
I laughed very hard and told him to go ahead and get the divorce papers for me to sign. I was ready to deal with anyone that will try and mess up my happiness. I have never been happy in this marriage and I saved us by making plans for the rainy day yet they have the audacity to threaten me.
My husband moved to the village and thought the village people can intimidate me. His family even accused me of planning his downfall so I can disgrace their son. They say I made him loose all his wealth so I can control him. Well, I told them, I am not the one that chased him out of our marriage. He used his two legs to walk out, he told my family that he is not marrying me anymore and its been almost two years now.
Now, its like his eyes are open now: things are very hard for him and his family. The tune has changed. They are now begging me to forgive and forget…that we should reconcile. For the sake of the children…bla bla bla…etc. Much as I want to accept my husband but anytime I remember how he and his family treated me for eleven years of marriage, I feel I should just ignore them cos they might come back and do worse.
Even right now, I am trying tp pick up my life again. I met a widower who is friends with me. He likes me, respects me, shows me love that my own husband never showed me and wants to marry me but I told him that I want to wait at least three years after my marriage is finalized before I can go into any romantic relationship.
Ma, I have tried. I have not had s*x in three years. I do not love my husband anymore. I am not even sure I loved him in 10 years out of our 11 years of marriage cos the maltreatment from his family lasted almost all through our marriage. I deserve to be happy.
My husband is begging and swearing that he has changed and learnt his lesson. I want to believe him but I am afraid that he may only be doing this just to come back to Lagos cos village is not favoring him. His siblings have been calling and begging me for money to feed almost every time.
Should I accept him back? How do I know he has changed in less than two years after what he did for almost 10 years? Is this a trap? Or should I forget him and push for the finalization of the divorce? I was a good wife to him but he was a very bad husband to me. His family made me suffer and unhappy for many years.
What should I do, please advise me.
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