I Am Madly In Love But My Girlfriend Makes Me Afraid Of Commitment
I will be very brief, I need your counsel. I am a 33 year old successful banker. I met the woman of my dreams last year and my plan is for us to settle down by the end of this year or early next year. This girl is smart and very godly. I met her actually by God’s divine plan.
When she came to our bank, I tried to shoot my shot but she kept giving me cold shoulder. She said she will not date a banker cos she does not trust bankers. I told her to give me a chance and she invited me for a church program, which I did. From then, we became close and all.
Things were going fine until I told her about my family: that my parents are not together. My mother actually had four of us, me and my siblings for different men. That information out her off. She was like, how can all four of us have 4 different fathers? Well, I am not trying to defend my mother but she made some bad choices in relationship. She was trying to survive according to her.
My mother’s situation made her discouraged but I told her I am not my mother. We continued seeing each other but she told me not to reveal my mother’s past to any of her family members. That some people may not understand. I agreed with her and all has been going well.
No need to lie, I love this girl alot but I made a mistake. I fumbled with an ex, who is related to a very big client of mine. I just wanted to make her happy cos I did not want a situation where she speaks to her relative to move his account from us. I know this is wrong and I have promised myself that it must stop after I get married legally.
My girlfriend would not have found out if only I was not careless. My mother called me the one day and my girlfriend was around. I put the phone on speaker and my mother told me that she got a call from my ex, that she thought we had broken up but my ex told her that she and I recently hooked up.
It was too late to remove the call from speaker but I cut the call and tried to do damage control but my girl just started shouting. That she said it, that I cannot be a faithful man, after all, my mother had 4 children with 4 men. That really hurt me. I was like, what has my mother got with this?
My girl went on to say all sorts, calling me names, calling my mother a slut….asking how is my mother even still contact with my ex, why did my ex hook up with me, did we have s*x, that I am a male prostitute born by a female prostitute. It was too much. I may have come from a mother who had four baby daddies but my mother raised us with love and respect and I will not marry someone who will not love and respect her irrespective of her choice.
It got heated and we broke up. I miss her so much but she has bad mouth once she is upset especially linking every quarrel we have to my mother’s bad character. After a week, she sent me a text to apologize and ask that we come back together. I said I needed time t to think about it but she showed up in my place that night and cos I missed her so much, I could not resist.
Now, because of what happened, anytime my mother calls, I try to take my calls outside and away from my girlfriend…but guess what, that is heating her up and she says I am hiding things form her and I am doing bad things with my mother who has bad character , that is why no man married her.
The annoying thing is, after talking shit, this girl will start begging and apologizing. I love her alot and I want her every day but her bad mouth and insults to my mother who did nothing wrong to her is my concern. We have broken up 3 or 4 times and always end up apologizing.
This her hot and cold attitude is even pushing me to have plan B with my ex, cos that one wants me back but she too is a big girl who flirts with other big men. I am confused: two women in my life, one is wife material with bad mouth, the other is not but madly in love with me.
I really do not want to make a bad choice and truly end up like my mother having babies with different women. Please what do I do…how do I choose between these two women?
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