I Only A 23 Years Old Widow But The Whole World Is About To Crash On Me-Please Advise
Please can my identity be hidden from this post? I am in an emotional state of confusion. My name is Jane (not real name). I am a 23 years old widow. I met my late husband four years ago in Medical school, he came for a seminar from US as a Consultant at our school. I was in my year four. I engaged him during the seminar and he took a liking to me especially when he found out I was from the same state as me, Akwa Ibom State.
After the seminar, he went back and he became like my mentor. During one of our conversations, he told me he liked me and I liked him too, he wanted to marry me…Ii loved the idea of marrying a professor in medicine…being a doctor in training myself. I agreed and he came by the end of the year to meet my parents,pay the bride price and do a court wedding. The plan was for me to finish medical school and join him in US and we have our white wedding then.
Since then , our marriage has been a long distance one. Sometimes, he travels to Nigeria to see me twice or thrice in a year. I used to spend my holidays with his family in Uyo, his parents have a private hospital there, one of his brother is a medical doctor there while the other one works in a private company. His family are very fine people and nice. They took me as their own and love me too.
My husbands brother always loved having me around and we relate very much like they want to act like a protective brother to their brother’s wife. Last year, during the lock down, my husband got the virus in the US and even though we prayed and prayed, he died in April of Last year. It was so painful because his body could not even be brought home.
I was inconsolable and I tried my best to concentrate on schooling which was hard. My family and inlaws were very supportive. They all rallied around me. I stayed alot with my mother in-law who kept wishing I got pregnant before her son passed so she could at least have someone to remember him by.
We had a service of songs for him here in Uyo and since then, I have been living with my in-laws. My mother in-law called me and spoke to me, that she loves me alot and she knows her late son also loved me. That she would love to keep having me as a daughter in-law. She asked me to consider marrying any of her sons as she sees we are very close as well.
At first, I found her suggestion weird but I asked her how will that work out, what if none of the boys want to marry me. She then said she would talk to them. That anyone of them that agrees will be the one we can date and see how things go. I agreed. After speaking with them, she came and told me the older one, the one who works in their family business as a doctor is the one that is interested.
I was a little disappointed inside me cos the other brother was more attractive to me and I thought he was closer to me. But I agreed with the mother. But what I noticed was that after then, the doctor started taking serious interest in me while the younger brother seemed to just ignore me. He even stopped calling me or coming to the house.
While I worked on my new relationship …I was also very worried that the younger brother seemed to cut off from me. I asked Smart (not real name),that is, the elder brother who has become my fiancé now. ..I asked him why his younger brother was acting weird and he said he does not know…that maybe he just wants to give me some space now that I am engaged to him. I found that strange.
I took it upon myself to go and see him at his apartment in town. When he saw me, he was very happy and I asked him why he was avoiding me. He said, I cannot tell his mother or brother what he was about to tell me: that when their mother asked both of them if they would be interested in marrying me to keep on their late brother’s legacy, that both of them said they both liked me and wanted to marry me.
That it led to confusion and argument on who will give up their interest for who. Both brother refused to give up and their mother decided that the older brother would marry me cos he is older. I was in shock cos if I was asked, I would have chosen the younger brother. I felt bad cos it appears Phil (not real name), the younger brother also has very strong feelings for me.
However, in other not to go against their mother, he decided to let his elder brother have his way …but he could not stand seeing me with him, that is why he left. I wanted to go and confront Smart and his mother bit Phil said if I do, it will cause more problems. That the mother will not forgive him and might end up scattering everything…which might even mean, none of the brother end up marrying me.
Eventually I saw reason with him and agreed to let things be the way they are. But after my visit, trying to leave became very emotional. We ended up making out and making love. We have strong attraction. I felt very bad, both of us felt bad but we were not thinking of anything when we were kissing.
Phil made me promise that we will not see each other again in order to avoid trouble. That was what we agreed but I think we made a mistake by not deciding to tell the truth of how we both felt to our families cos we both kept having a secret affair. We just could not help it. I thought it was just s*x so I started sleeping with Smart too, maybe to get Phil off my mind but I ended up sleeping with both brothers.
You may see me as a bad person but I am not. I love Phil more than Smart but we both know that it will not work cos of his brother and his mother. We had to get married in February this year because I got pregnant. To be honest, I have no idea who the father of the child is: whether Smart or Phil. I suspect its for Phil but I dare not say. Phil stopped seeing me when I told him that I was pregnant in February. I told him the baby was for Smart. That broke his heart.
My baby is almost due, and I received a call from Phil, that he has not been himself since I got pregnant and married his brother But that I should be aware that he intends to carry out a DNA test after I give birth because he wants to be sure the baby is not his. I begged him and begged him not to do that cos I was sure the baby is not his but he said why am I so sure, when I was sleeping with him and his brother.
I have been begging him to forget all we had before and let us both focus on the future. Which ever way, the baby is still their blood. I am scared. I dont know how I landed in this kind of family mess. Phil says the only way for him to not do the DNA is for us to resume our secret love affair.
Right now, both options are not ok for me, its like I am between the devil and the deep blue sea. Either I let him do a DNA or I keep f*cking him …what should I do? I love Phil and I wish I was bold enough to say no to Smart and his mother right from the start. I have succeeded in coming in-between two brothers if Phil does not have his way. Please what should I do?
I contemplated confessing to Smart or his mother before things get out of hand and messier but I am also scared they will be so disappointed in me and throw me out of their family. This secret is putting so much pressure on me that its affecting my pregnancy. I am having high BP and panic attacks. I am really scared. I am 23 years old, widowed, not completed my medical school and pregnant for my husband’s brother.
It really feels like the weight of the whole world is on me and its about to crash. Please help me.
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