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My Wife Says I Am Not Man Enough For Her-Please Advise


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My Wife Says I Am Not Man Enough For Her-Please Advise

Good evening,

I want to remain anonymous. Few years ago, I went for camp and was praying to God for alot of things that was not going well in my life at the time. I needed a job, I needed to find a good wife because I had been in some relationships that left me heartbroken.

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As I prayed and fasted, I noticed a nice looking lady too who came for the prayers. One evening, after praying, I went for evening service and sat down. Looking beside me, the person who sat beside me was the same lady. She greeted me with the prettiest smile. I was like God, is this my wife?

And yes, she was really warm and friendly and we exchanged numbers. Thereafter, a month later, I got a job. I was so happy. It was a big paying job, I was going to earn over 100% increase from my last pay and it came with a car. I knew then, God who gave me the job and car will give me a wife.

However, I was not meeting any ladies that caught my fancy. So, I called that lady that sat near me in camp. She did not remember me at first but when she did, she was so warm and nice. I asked her if she was single, she said yes and I told her my desire to find a wife. She said she also came to camp to pray for a husband.

Long story short, we began to date and yes, she was everything I wanted in a wife. After like three months of dating, I asked her how she feels about intimacy before marriage. She said she would like to remain celibate if I don’t mind but once we inform our parents about the marriage, then she is happy to have intimacy.

So dating for us was just slight kissing and cuddling but soon after a year, I engaged her and we had introductions at her family house. By then, she would come to my place and spend weekend and we would play all weekend. I liked her energy, she was very s8xually agile, she could go all night and all day if i wanted her to.

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After our traditional wedding, she moved in with me and since that day, there is not a day that passes that my wife does not have s*x. At first, it was exciting but if I am tired, it becomes a problem. Now, because of the constant s8x, my wife was pregnant on our wedding day. I was praying the ministers did not notice cos I have tried to be an upstanding man.

Even through out her pregnancy and after, my wife says marriage is for s8x. I do not know if they are other men like me but I cannot be having s*x everyday with the way Lagos stress is. I told her to renew her mind but she starts getting all worked up and saying abusive words to me.

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That many men would give anything to have a wife like her that wants s*x everyday. I told her, I am not all men and I really prefer a healthy s*x life than having s*x like rabbits all the time. She says I am not man enough or I am cheating or any rubbish that comes out of her mouth. I think she is a nice woman but this s*x matter makes her behave like a nasty person.

It has gotten to a point that I have to sleep sometimes in the visitors room just to avoid another fight about s*x. Now, she reported me to our pastor that we are not s8xually compatible , that I do not satisfy her s8xually. I tried to explain to the pastor that my wife is being unrealistic and all he told me was that it is my duty to keep my wife satisfied.

Two weeks ago, my wife started again and I did my best but this matter was beginning to tire me and I am even beginning to loose interest because I don’t want to hear from her, is that all? Why did you come so soon after almost one hour of f*cking? I had no choice but to stay away from her cos I was tired of her nagging.

That night, in the dead of the night, I was in the guest room, but I suddenly woke up to use the toilet. Around 1am. After I easing myself, I could not sleep again. I felt bad with what was going on with me and my wife. I wanted to go meet her and try to make up with her. I got to our room and started hearing moaning sounds.

I stopped in my tracks, what came to my mind was: my wife was either masturbating or watching porn. I was shocked to find the door looked. I stood by the door and listened a little more, next thing, she was calling someone daddy. And asking him to f*ck her and do all kinds of dirty things to her.

Immediately, I kicked the door hard cos I was enraged…could it be that there was a man in my room or what? Thank God the door was faulty or maybe she just used something to block the door…so it was easy to break open.

Before my wife could gather herself, I caught her red handed. She was having video s*x with a man on her computer, the man was waking himself and my wife was moaning erotically to him on the screen.

My goodness….she tried to shut down the computer and I took it from her. The man was on video quickly logged off. This time, I was the one shouting and asking who the man was…she kept quiet and said nothing. She was perfectly mute. I had to shake her vigorously and must have said I will kill her now if she does not speak up and tell me who she was having video s*x with.

My wife said he is nobody. Someone she met online and they are just having fun …nothing serious. Nothing serious? But you were naked and moaning and watching him wank himself off by watching you too? My wife said, well, if you were doing your duty, will I be doing this? I don’t know how I got into this but this is not the woman I asked God for. How can a good church girl be so consumed by s*x?

My wife is nasty and a s*x addict and she thinks its normal. We talked about s8x during dating …I knew she was not a virgin but I did not know this was a big deal to her. I consider myself a normal guy with a normal s8xual appetite but my wife clearly has a higher appetite.

Now, she is having online s8x…so how do  I know its not gotten to cheating outside our marriage? She said she has never cheated but she does talk to guys online, that its just masturbating, not cheating. I dragged her phone from her and saw that she has been chatting with this  guy for like a month and they have been talking dirty and masturbating together.

My wife said she does not want a divorce when I asked her if she wants a divorce since am not enough for her. She started to beg me, that she will not do it again. I love my wife, she is a good wife and mother but her s8xual drive is way higher than mine. Or is she an addict? How do I make her happy cos I also feel inadequate as a man not able to satisfy his wife.

My wife contacted one of these Instagram aphrodisiacs to help me with stamina for s*x but I refused to take it because I believe if you start those things, there is no telling what the side effects will be. I am not happy with the way things are, its making me quite suspicious of my wife cos I feel I am not s*xually compatible with her.

Our marriage is getting very strained and tensed. We both need professional help otherwise, I may just free her cos I cannot live in a marriage where I am not enough for my woman…that feeling is worse than anything a man can think of. Our marriage is barely three years old.

Please advise.

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Photo Credit:cosmopolitan

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My Wife Says I Am Not Man Enough For Her-Please Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. How did you know your wife got pregnant on your wedding day? Your wife got pregnant before your wedding day I beg your pardon, anyway that aside. This issue is coming up because of lack of communication, you didn’t court for long,she came in as a church girl and that enticed you,no be everything wey dey glitter be gold. Your marriage is just 3years and doesn’t need this bad energy and vibes. It is now obvious to you that your wife is very very active sexually. You have to satisfy her ooo or take a break but come to think of it,I’m still wondering the kind of person your wife is,having a sex video with a random man,married woman for that matter,why did she not tell you how sexually active she is before the marriage sef? Oga please satisfy her ooo,or else she will cheat ,either physically or through video sex. You have to find a way around it because if she cheats,people will eventually blame you for not performing your manly duties oooo. It is well,the life no just balance,wetin other men dey find nahim my brother see come pick race

  2. Hmmm. Your wife is a sex addict, only GOD can help her, I think she was sleeping around when you were dating, she was only good @ hiding it.

    Don’t ever let her blame you for her evil ways, she is totally responsible for her choices, she is just a church girl but not a GOD girl.

    Honestly to me, she will still commit adultery that’s if she has not even been doing so but you haven’t just found out.

    My man, this is a big problem I must tell you, can you bear with a cheating spouse. I strongly advise you NOT to take aphrodisiacs @ll because when you experience side affects you will be the only one to suffer for it and she will still blame you for not satisfying her sexually.

    Lastly, do not put your trust in humans, they will cheat irrespective of whether you trust them or not. Cheating is a choice made by the cheating partner.

    A question to you, can you bear with a cheating spouse. It is well.

  3. Your wife is just too selfish and being extremely unreasonable. Having different sex drive is very common in marriage but the solution that reasonable and matured couples practice is via communication and understanding. They follow schedules – fix up sex hours for particular days in the week, create a role playing sex time, create intimacy time that won’t even end up in sex, create date night where u go out only to hang out. Everything is not sex sex sex all the time na. Haba!!! Na marriage be this o. Assuming you mentioned that you were a 2mins man, I would have understood your wife complains better but this one don pass normal o.

    Since she doesn’t want to be reasonable and understanding with you, you need to consider seeing a sex therapist. Things just aren’t clicking for the two of you, so it might be worth making an appointment with a sex therapist, who can offer helpful insights and suggestions bcos if you should continue like this, at the end of the day she will cheat physically on you (if she has not yet started already) and divorce will eventually happen when it becomes uncontrollable and frustrating.

    I also want to believe you are not totally free of faults. There are things that you wouldn’t have mentioned here so that we won’t blame you too, so seek for a therapist to be able to share it all with the professional. Cos I believe your wife is not yet fully a nymphomaniac orelse she would have been sleeping anyhow with guys before and after marriage.

    Let the sex therapist address both of you about libido issues and make you see both points of view to avoid arguments & create a room for understanding, and then give suggestions and sex plan that you will follow in your marital life without conflict.

    All the best

  4. Please don’t divorce her, help her, she is a good woman and a good mother, yes she has sex problems, she needs deliverance, you guys didn’t have sex until engagement, a bad person will not wait that long, so please help her.


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