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My Uncle Did This To Me- I Am Scared & Confused, Am I Still A Virgin?


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My Uncle Did This To Me- I Am Scared & Confused, Am I Still A Virgin?

I am a new follower of lively stones. I think I need help and advice on how to go about this. I am dating someone, we are going strong and the relationship might lead to marriage. I like this guy alot and I think I need help because I do not want to fully invest in this relationship and get heart broken.

At the point of liking my guy, we were getting to know each other and I told him that I am a virgin because I have never had s8x before. He likes me alot and always brags about me to his friends and family that I am a girl with high morals and standards.

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However, I started thinking of what happened three years ago and I am afraid. Three years ago, my aunty came to take me to stay with her, so she can sponsor my OND schooling. I had stopped schooling after SSCE because my father could not afford it. A simple man, he depended on his farm to manage to send us to secondary school.

Myself and my brothers did odd jobs like house help, motor boy to support our family. My Aunty came from Lagos to take me as her house help and promised my father that she will train me in school if I help her take care of her children. I got to Lagos and got admission to study at the poly technique.

About three weeks after I resumed in my aunty’ s place,  her husband started coming to my room at night and trying to have s*x with me. My aunty works late, most times, she is not around. Her husband started buying me nice things and trying to sleep with me but I keep refusing because my father always warned me as the only girl among four boys to remain a virgin until marriage.

This man keep trying and I tell him I will leave their house than sleep with him or give up my virginity. Then,he now told me that we can do other things that will not require me to be disvirgined. He then said that he will not penetrate my Virginia. That is how he started inserting his finger into my anus.

Thereafter, he would ask me to suck his manhood and he will release inside me. He said I am still a virgin since he did not penetrate me. Later on, from inserting fingers into my anus, he began to insert his manhood inside my anus. I felt so much pain with bruises the first time but he bought me an iphone and promised to take care of me for the rest of my life.

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All these while, I believed him when he said I was still a virgin since he was not inserting me from my Virginia. I was having anal s*x ( I did not know about anal s*x before then) with my aunty’ s husband until I graduated and left their house to work. I saved some money from the money he used to give me to play with me and got myself an apartment. He even tried to continue coming to see me in my place for anal s8x but I refused to tell him where I was living.

Now, I am dating this guy and its been almost six months. I see that it is so important to him that I am a virgin. Now, I am scared: should I tell him that even though I am a virgin but that I have had anal s8x before? Wait, if someone has anal s8x, is the person still a virgin? I now know that my uncle actually abused me but I read that until the hymen is broken, the person is still a virgin.

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I am still a virgin right? I am afraid and fearful that if he knows I had anal s8x, he may not see me as a virgin anymore even though my hymen is still intact. Please what should I do…should I tell him or not? Am I still a virgin or not?

Please advise me.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. My love you are still a virgin,I like you because you are brave,you saved up money from him and got an apartment and then moved out,for refusing to collect more gifts and also not telling him your address is a wonderful thing. Now,you do not need to tell the whole world you had anal sex,permit me to say you were naive and not really matured,so your uncle took advantage of that. Now ,you know better right,and you have decided to speak up and be free from guilt. You are still a virgin, as long as you are sure he did not have deep penetration into your V and there was no blood. If your boyfriend is a good man and can accommodate this story,please let him know, that is,if you are sure the relationship will lead to marriage if not,hold your peace. It is well with you love,all these peadofile parading themselves everywhere in form of uncles,teachers,fathers etc. Anyways there is God. Fathers now sleep with their daughters without any iota of guilt,things dey happen oooo

  2. this is sad. Technically, youre still a Virgiv but in the real sense of it, alot of water has passed under the bridge for you. what youve experienced is so disgusting more than viginal sex! But, we assume they are days of ignorance and thankGod you didnt disclose your new address, hopefully it ends here.. however, you ll still need to seek God’s mercies so the past wont come hunting later . please i advise you don’t tell your Boy friend , what ll you gain if you do. and what ll you lose if you do? not all men can process stuffs like these. Please, confess to God alone and ensure youre faithful in your relationship and subsequently, marriage.
    God ll judge that so-called Uncle and Peadophites.
    peace unto you.


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