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Help-I Am Getting Married Yet I Have Ungodly Feelings For A Close Family


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Help-I Am Getting Married Yet I Have Ungodly Feelings For A Close Family


I am a 22 year old final year student of one of the polytechniques in Southwest Nigeria. My family arranged for me to be married by our religion to man who I will be a second wife to. This man is from a good home and he has been responsible to me as his future bride.

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However, something happened three months ago and I am very afraid of going ahead with the marriage plans but I am also not sure what to tell my parents is the reason I am backing out of this arrangement.

Like I said, I am in my final year in school. Three months ago, my future mother in-law sent her son to bring me some food items in school. Due to traffic caused by some accidents on the high way, he could not get to my school on time that day, he got to my hostel around 9.15pm.

It became an issue of its too late for him to go back that night, so I went with him to look for a hotel around my hostel but the one we found looked like a brothel and he was like, he cant stay there. He was like, he can stay in my room and we do not have to tell anyone, by 5am, he will be out to go back.

It made sense, I mean, its not like he is a stranger, he is my brother inlaw to be…he is family, he surely can spend one night in my place and leave before dawn abi? We went back to my place, I fixed noodles for him and went to study a little bit as I do every night before going to bed.

My brother in-law lay on my bed playing games on his phone or whatever. It became awkward when I wanted to have my bath, so he offered to step outside while I have my bath. My room is a self contained one so, I was in the shower when I noticed a hand on me.

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I turned around in shock and it was my brother inlaw…I was like very shocked…asking him..what are you doing,what are you trying to do…he put his hand over my mouth and asked me to shhhhh….that he will not do anything, he just wants to touch my breasts cos he could not take his eyes off them for a while now…that he knows I am his sister inlaw and he cannot cross that line.

By now, I was panicking,…I felt he would rape me…I knew if I shouted…no one would hear me and they would blame me for allowing him spend the night after we told his mother that he was at a hotel. I begged him saying I was a virgin, that his brother would find out if he disvirgined me…he told me not to worry…that he would not penetrate but just touch me.

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So, I let him touch me, touch my breasts…my goodness…I began to feel some sensations as he touched me…I have never felt like this before…he was doing things to my breasts and fingering me and I was loosing control…from saying no….I began to say please……and yes please.

I feel so ashamed but I was really seduced by his touch…I lost all control when he put his tongue inside me. I began to shake and before long I think I had my first orgasm. I began to cry afterwards…I told him I have never done anything like this before…that I am a virgin…he was like…I should not worry…that he did not do anything to break my virginity that he only gave me orals and fingered me.

The explanation made sense to me…he told me how he likes giving orals and receiving orals …that its more enjoyable than real s*x. He showed me some porn videos on his phone of couples doing the same thing he did to me and I intrigued at how they achieved pleasure without penetration.

We did those kind of acts all night and I wanted him to even penetrate me but he kept saying he cannot dishonor his brother like that. I begged him to take my V but he refused. I enjoyed almost 5 orgasms that night.

My brother inlaw left the next morning but since then, he and I call each other some nights and do video calls and we tells me how to touch myself and experience orgasm. He told me that if I do this to his brother, I will be his brother’s favorite wife. That any woman going into a polygamous marriage must know how to seduce her man so he would treat her better than the other wives.

Though I am still a virgin but I have experienced all kinds of s*xual pleasure with my husband’s brother many times in the past three months. Initially, I did not think it was wrong, I even thought he did me a big favour by teaching me all the things he did to me but as my wedding draws closer, I feel my conscience judging me.

Apart from that, I think  have feelings for his brother. I get wet just thinking about him. How do I marry his elder brother when every time I close my eyes, I cannot stop picturing the younger brother making love to me….surely that is not right.

I need help because this is not something I can confide in any friend or family to keep a secret for me…I will be ruined. I need advice on what to do…should I opt out of the marriage plans? What excuse will I give my parents? If I cannot back out…how do I stop the feelings I have for my future brother in-law? I am truly confused…

Please advise


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hmmm

    What do we call this…

    Emotional affair or incest?…were you that naïve?

    So, what next? Go forward with marriage or pull the plug right now?

    That boy has you mumu bottom sha. He really played you and you allowed it.

    Do you know that 75% of women do not experience orgasm through penetrative sex?

    Amy man who knows this secret, who knows how to use his tongue and fingers more and uses it well…has the woman under control for as long as he wants

    And this young man knows that….the only way to break that connection is if your husband is way better than him in that game of s*x and touch….

    So what are you going to do?…are you willing to risk it and marry his elder brother? what if you cant get over that influence? Will you be discipline enough to say no when next he tries to give you that oral experience?

    If you know you cannot handle this…then quit…tell them that you are not in love with your husband to be and if they force you…blame them when things dont work out.

    Take charge of your life…pleasure is great but why allow a few minutes of pleasure continue to control your life?

    All the best.

  2. I’m even concerned with the fact that your family arranged a man for her to marry.

    After you allowed him to touch you the first time and even begged him to penetrate you, you both still called each other for months, dear one if you dont break completely from that guy, he will come to your school unannounced and you both will do these rubbish again.

    But I’m very much concerned with why will your family arrange a man for you to marry, that is totally wrong and does not make any sense

    Flee from sexual immorality and sexual recklessness. Peace

  3. This your so called brother in-law to be really got you big time.
    There is Something called Self-respect which you lacked big time.
    Even a mere stranger shouldn’t succeed in raping you in your own apartment except there is a “weapon” of threat for you to keep quiet.
    My dear, this guy would ruin you.


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