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My Ex & My Fiancé At War For My Heart-Please Advise


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My Ex & My Fiancé At War For My Heart-Please Advise

Two years ago, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me without any explanation. He just said its him and not me. I begged and begged him to tell me what was wrong, he just said, he knows he has betrayed me and cannot bear it.

My suspicion was that, maybe he cheated…I even told him that if he cheated, I forgive him but he still left me. I was broken and felt so horrible. I found it very hard to trust any man coming to for me cos I was scared of being loved and dumped later.

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About seven months later, I started dating a guy in my dm. It was just chatting, later, we hooked up. He asked me what my plans were, I told him, marriage in a year or two. Right now, I am 26. I would like to be married by 27 or 28. He told me he was not ready for marriage but he wants us to have fun.

To me, I did not want that but I liked him alot so we kinda couldn’t stop hooking up. Things moved pretty fast because like two months after being together, he started telling me that he thinks he may be getting ready to settle down cos he is in love with me and does not want to loose me for anything.

We became inseparable and we got engaged in 7 months. It was a shock to his friends and family cos everyone thought he was not ready for marriage in the next 7 years or so. And here he was, planning a wedding with a girl he met less than a year ago.. I was not scared but really excited.

Sometimes, in my heart, I fear we may be moving too fast but I told myself that many girls have done it before, marry someone you meet and have an instant connection. Everything is going great and I am happy.

About two months ago, we both had an argument cos he came home late and drunk. I suspected he was also with someone else cos he smelled of a female perfume. I got so mad and said some things in my anger. He too then said he does not know why he is planning a wedding with me when six months ago, he told me he did not want to marry me.

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The next day, the mother called, obviously very happy cos she made it known that she has been praying that me and her son’s relationship crash because she knows her son does not want to get married but since he met me, he has changed and now, all he is thinking is marriage and not even taking care her as his mother. She said, no woman can come in-between her and her son.

I was so surprised cos I never knew his mother was not happy for us all these while. I deleted my social media accounts cos I was really pained all of these was happening. This made those around me really worried. That is how my ex called me to ask why I deleted my SM.

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It was not intentional but we began to talk after that and he felt he saw an opportunity to come back and he quickly did. He said he broke up with me because he thought he got someone pregnant but it was all a lie. Ma, I started feeling my ex , all the feelings came back. So when my actual fiancé returned, I became confused.

My fiancé is begging and asking for forgivness..my ex is not letting me go. My ex is saying I should not marry my fiancé cos he is a yahoo boy cos no one marries someone they just met, that the guy has a motive…maybe he is a ritualist. My fiancé told me he is into forex but now, am beginning to suspect he is into yahoo or is my ex messing with my head?

What about the mother…what do you think about the mother? Why did she say no one can come in-between her and her son? My fiancé said I should ignore her cos she’s feeling threatened cos he has never been in love like this before. The mother sees how much he loves me and she is afraid that he will love me more than her…

Hmm…so here are my questions: do I still have feelings for my ex? are my feelings for my fiancé stronger than that for my ex? Is my ex worth going back to? He left me for another bitch he thought was pregnant for him, my fiancé has never done that to me….

What about the allegation of being a yahoo boy, could that be true? I don’t know anything about making money through forex but isn’t it legit or could someone be posing with forex but is actually a yahoo boy? Finally…is my fiancé’s mother a reflag? How do I handle her? What should I do? Please advice me, I am waiting for suggestions and advice the many questions.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear one, you need a break. You rushed plans with your fiancée, and this hookup you said, I guess its sex, I guess its all list to he honest, if you check well, trust me you may not actually love any of the. Search inwards of you, you will understand what I mean. Many of us think we are in love when most times its lust infatuation or even strong admiration. Pls sister, search inwards, sex clouds peoples sense of reasoning. I only advise you to stop any form of sexual affair and put yourself together. You need a break.

  2. So many questions, so many confusions inside your head. Best thing is not to act. Give it time. Take everything thing slow with all the guys. Tell them you need time for yourself and the right answers to your questions will come at the right time, just as the saying goes – “your confession in your confusion is the conclusion of your condition”.

    Just as someone earlier said that sex clouds the brain from thinking well, put an end to sex too till u get over all these or else you will just keep getting led by lust instead of love.

    You need a short break for now. Don’t put yourself into a tight corner out of desperation to get married quickly. It is better to wait and marry right ooo.

    Wish you well.

  3. Nobody thinks straight when two men are hovering around you. I know that for sure. The ex could be back but my worry is, he’s not trustworthy. If he did it the first time,why won’t he repeat it in future? The fiance’s mum is definitely a red flag. Take a break to explore other things. You were only single for 7 months. I would suggest you take a full year to see who’ll still hang around. Men don’t put all their eggs in one basket,I believe they’ll start looking elsewhere after few months of not getting an answer from you. Leave both men for now. Come back after a year and tell us who stuck around and who left? All the best dear.


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