HomeAdviceMan Threatens To Commit Suicide After His Wife Actions Scatter His Family

Man Threatens To Commit Suicide After His Wife Actions Scatter His Family


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Man Threatens To Commit Suicide After His Wife Actions Scatter His Family

A childhood friend of mine called me few days ago, a grown man of about 38 years old, he was crying on the phone and telling me how he wants to end his life or walk away from his family. This man really needs our help, that is why I am sending this to lively stones cos the matter on ground is very difficult one.

This my friend, lets call him Ladi. Ladi and I have been friends from secondary school days. Unfortunately, due to family hardship, he could not continue schooling after secondary school. He went to Ibadan to find work and he has been there ever since. Ladi is a security guard in one of the tertiary institutions in Ibadan. I have helped him financially from time to time cos things are hard for him.

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Ladi’s elder brother who also dropped out of school, started out as a thug for politicians but gradually became so popular that he ran for local govt chairman position years later and he won. Ladi’s elder brother’s political career has really grown that today, the man is one of the Special Advisers in the political party in their state.

Ladi’s brother called Ladi back to their village to help him get a government job which Ladi relocated with his very attractive wife (we all used to tease Ladi that he must have used jazz to win such a beautiful woman to marry him with no money) and son two years ago to take up. He got him a civil service job which still pays very little but Ladi was grateful all the same. Ladi’s wife, because she trained as a caterer, got a job as a chef in the elder brother’s house.

Its not as if the brother was doling money to the family even with his political career, his family was surprised at how stingy their brother was. He sent them money sometimes, like twice in a year, maybe 15k or 20k or maximum 40k to his parents. He did not give Ladi money but since the wife worked in their home, she got a monthly salary of 50k.

Ladi’s wife used to praise the elder brother alot cos she comes back home with tips that the man shares to his workers but Ladi used to wonder why his own brother would be generous to his workers or friends, yet not to his own family members.

Anyway, he was thankful that he gave him and his wife a job but many people wondered why Ladi’s brother did not give them money to set up businesses or help them do bigger things than just working as a junior level civil servant or ordinary cook.

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Their other siblings too wondered the same thing. They called several family meetings to address their brother but the man failed to show up. The family decided to leave him to his conscience. What Ladi did not know what that, his elder brother was interested in his wife.

Ladi’s wife got pregnant with twins towards end of last year. She gave birth just this last August and Ladi has been running around to money to take care of the babies cos his salary is barely enough to do so. The wife decided to go back to work to earn more money so that she can support Ladi.

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Even though Ladi did not like the fact that the wife was going back to work just after a month, he had no choice. When he even went to beg the brother for money, he gave him only 15k. The brother’s wife too was surprised, she gave Ladi 20k but all of that is not enough to care for three children now on Ladi’s small salary of 48k.

So when Ladi’s wife went back to work, that was when everything scattered. The elder brother’s wife sister, who was living with them caught Ladi’s wife and Ladi’s elder brother having s*x and raised alarm. The elder brother’s wife was like she suspected all along but she never caught them.

Ladi could not believe his wife did that. He asked her several times and she confessed that she did that because the man told her that she does not let him sleep with him, that she will loose her job.

Ladi’s wife said that she knows how bad things are for them. And that the man also promised to help Ladi get a car if she continues to have s8x with him. That she did it for Ladi, to help him because she saw that the man does not give money to family members except strangers and side chics that he sleeps with.

Ladi called me after what his wife said and he said he wants to kill his elder brother and chase his wife away. He said from the wife’s confession, the elder brother has been sleeping with his wide since they relocated back, almost two years ago. So, he is not even sure he is the father of the twin babies. The wife said she is not sure either cos both brothers were sleeping with her.

I told Ladi to do DNA test for the children, he said he does not have money to do it and he is afraid that if the test shows the children are his, he cannot take it, he may commit suicide cos it means his wife got pregnant for another man just because he cannot care for his family.

The entire family is thrown into confusion. Many are blaming Ladi’s wife for cheating on her husband and his elder brother’s wife. Yes, they acknowledge their brother was wrong but they also acknowledge that Ladi’s wife crossed the line cos everyone knows Ladi’s brother is a womanizer because he has money. They all are saying the woman committed incest and that she is a gold digger.

The family is against Ladi’s wife and want her to be divorced but the woman is saying she did everything to help her husband. Ladi is really down. He cannot eat or go to work. He says he feels like walking away from his family to save his face from the shame. what should Ladi do? Please help me advise my friend.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. This is really hard Brother…
    So sorry for what you’re going through.
    Be comforted.
    Don’t make any decisions now that you’re angry and hurt.
    You can cry, vent out the anger but don’t decide yet what to do.
    I pray you do the right thing because I really don’t know what to say.

  2. Good Morning Poster.. this is deep. Your wife and brother did you a number!. My only question is: how come you never noticed your wife was cheating for almost a year to the point she had twins maybe for your brother? s your case so bad that your wife had to stoop so low to ‘try’ and help you by sleeping with your brother?…your brother is evil and your wife is not loyal. What you need is time off to think, pray and clear your head. If you can, take your first child with you since you are sure of his paternity. Leave madam with her lover. Go to another town and try to start afresh. When you are able to afford it ,carry out a paternity test on ALL the children and if they are not yours, let the wife take them to their fathers….if they are yours, love them and care for the,. As for your wife, if you can forgive her without being drawn into constant reminder of the pain she caused, then forgive her….but watch her…you both need time to deal with what has occurred and please do not take any rash decisions yet. A temporary separation. After which you can both decide if you want to work on your marriage or go your separate ways. But you must be sure who the father of all 3 children are. To clear any doubt. That is not to say you cannot raise or love them if they are not your biological children but its important that you know the depth of the situation. Above all, move away from that brother of yours…he needs to redeem himself by apologizing to you and the entire family. Failure to do that means he is completely heartless and ignorant. Take it easy on yourself. Go start a fresh life…you don’t need your brother’s money to make it in life. Work on yourself…you are a good man…you are worthy…and you will make it. Do not give up on you…stay strong man!…this too shall pass.


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