HomeAdviceMy Heart Is Truly Confused About This Thing Called Love-Pls Advise

My Heart Is Truly Confused About This Thing Called Love-Pls Advise


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My Heart Is Truly Confused About This Thing Called Love-Pls Advise

Hello, I need help with my relationship

I need you to advice me on this.  I have a guy that I have been dating for the past 4 years now. He is very loving and supportive. He has been there for me alot of times…he is a very good person although he has his bad sides but he is still cool… he is my first real loving  boyfriend or relationship.

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When I was doing my certification,  I met a man who was also doing his. We got close and I found out that he is separated from his wife. Maybe because we were also study buddies but along the way he told me he loves but I pushed that thought aside but since then, I  discovered that I have started falling in love with him…

Please note ma, I am not the separation with his wife. They been separated for almost eight months and going through a divorce. The wife I think has moved on according to him . They have no children. This man is way older than me (I am 28 and he is 37) but I find him so caring and attractive.

To be very honest, I have been sleeping with him for two months now. I feel guilty for cheating on my boyfriend but I think I am also in love with this man. I have never really dated anyone aside my boyfriend so I think the discovery I am experiencing with this man is really making me excited. I did not tell him I have a boyfriend…I am scared of hurting him or  my boyfriend but also tired of hiding it from both of them.

What should I do? Should I break up with my boyfriend? Am I truly in love with this guy? Or should I just abandon my certification for now, to avoid seeing him? Is it too soon to tell? I cannot go a day without hearing his voice…I feel sad to know my boyfriend trusts me so much yet I am with another man that I have fallen helplessly in love with yet I do not know what the future holds because his divorce is still ongoing.

I need your advice not abuse….I am trying my best. God knows.

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You are in lust, the thing is sex is ONLY for marriage. I will advise you to stop exhibiting greed and selfishness.

    Dating your bf for 4 years, he is loving and supportive, is this how you repay him.

    I put it to you that you know what to do and what not to do, how would you feel if this is done to you. Peace

  2. Well you asked for no abuse, so let me keep it short by giving you two options.

    1. Just cut off one of the relationship and make sure you stay faithful to that person you chose to be with. By cheating on both, you have already hurt them, so breaking up will be better for the guy you dont want to continue with, as he will have enough time to get over it and finally move on. It will break his heart but it is better than him finding out abruptly by himself that you were cheating on him.

    2. Cut off both relationships and any form of communication with both of them to be able to move on easily so that they won’t have a chance to beg you desperately to give them another chance. This is harder to do. So go for option 1 if u don’t have the mental strength to go through this.

    3. And if u were unable to make any choice at all, then option 3 will eventually take place by itself. That is, you will get caught eventually, and one or both of them, will know that u were cheating on them. At such point, you will be back to choose again between option 1 and 2. ¹By going back to beg the one you truly want to continue dating or ²by losing both of them totally and starting afresh.

    It will be better you choose now to avoid going through option 3 as that will be more depressing.

    All the best.


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