HomeAdviceMy Marriage Is Under Fire-I Saw Charms In My Brother In-law's Bag

My Marriage Is Under Fire-I Saw Charms In My Brother In-law’s Bag


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My Marriage Is Under Fire-I Saw Charms In My Brother In-law’s Bag

Good day ma’am,

I need your advise please. I am a married woman with two children. My husband is 13 years older than me. He was first married but he got divorced after the woman left him with their son and followed one of his business partners. As a result of that, my husband talks bitterly about woman who cheat on their husbands. I know its something that he cannot forgive easily.

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About four years ago, like two years after my second child was born, our s*x life began to dwindle. Its not like it was an everyday affair before but I just realized that he was showing less interest in s*x and when he did, maybe like once a month, he would not last more than 2 minutes.

I became worried and started looking for solutions cos I thought its something that drugs can help. As we are doing all these, he developed BP and was advised against taking certain drugs that he was taking to boost his performance. That meant, I became s*xually starved and I was getting more and more frustrated.

Our issues became more and more cos of this. We were always quarrelling but after counselling by our G.O, I decided to leave the matter and be praying for God to heal my husband. That is how I have been in a s*xless marriage for the last four years out of 8 years of marriage.

Well, something has happened. My husband’s younger brother came to live with us last month. The boy just finished his training with his master and wants my husband to help him establish a shop which my husband promised he will help him. He opened his shop but accommodation was expensive, so my husband said he can stay with us until he can afford a place to stay.

This my husband’s brother used to assist me whenever he is back from his shop. One day,my husband travelled and this boy came back from his shop, he greeted me as I was watching a movie in the parlor. He went to take his food in the kitchen as usual. Then, he sat beside me at began to eat.

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The movie has some romantic scenes of which I was a bit uncomfortable watching with my brother in-law. I got up to go and have my bath to sleep. While in the bathroom, this boy came in and began to caress me and finger me. I did not even fight him off…he fingered me and later took me to his room and has s*x with me.

We started having s*x for the four days that my husband was not around. One day, I was cleaning the entire house and I cleaned his room. I discovered something was smelling from his bag and I opened it, then I saw a charm that had my picture tied around it. I was shocked. I was like why does this guy have my picture in a charm tied together?

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Since then, I became afraid. I realize that this boy must have used charm for me, that is why I cannot have the sense to resist him anytime he wants to have s*x with me. I am so scared of him. I confronted him when he came back and he said its not real, that its just fake. But that he is in love with me but not like that…

I told him to leave my house or I will report him to his brother but he threatened to tell his brother about us. I was like…if you do, your brother will also send you out but he made me realize that his brother can only send him away but his brother will divorce me. Which is true.

My husband’s divorced his first wife cos of cheating so I know he will be too disappointed if he finds out what I did,…and he will definitely send me away. So, I have no choice but to keep quiet but everyday, my husband told me he was travelling day before yesterday again. I had to lock my door last two nights and put a big chair against it before I can sleep cos I do not want this boy to come and use his charm to have s8x with me again.

I am also so scared cos everyday, I am thinking of this boy’s manhood and missing him. Maybe the charm is trying to make me weak and come back to him. How do I explain this to anyone for them to believe me? My own husband’s brother f*cked me with charm and is still living inside my house, this is a serious threat, what do I do please. How do I make him leave my house before something happens again?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear sis, he didn’t charm you at all….A sex-starved wife can be desperate sometimes…

    Truly, you might find a charm in his bag with your picture on it, but I am certain it wasn’t for sex purposes…

    I rest my case cause I don’t even know how to advice you..

  2. Dear Poster,

    This is a very complicated matter but the solution you can spin from the actual problem.

    First, its possible you were charmed but because you are also s*x starved, it could also be that you were tempted and you willingly yielded. The only reason one might believe it was the charm is because you did not say that you were having any feelings for the guy before then.

    S*x with someone does not just happen….the thoughts must have been built up over time and since you were not thinking of him, he must have been the one who planned this for some time. Maybe he even knows your secret that you and your husband are no longer having s*x.

    Now, its more dangerous to keep being alone in the same house as this boy since you have confessed to be thinking about him all the time.

    So, take a picture of the charm and go to your husband with it. Tell him you found this in his bag and you do not know what came over you but you suspect that he has used the charm on you and he may have taken advantage of you.

    Do not tell him anymore than the above…do not tell him you are thinking of the boy all the time…tell him you do not how it happens but the guy hypnotizes you…just make it seem that once you are around the guy, you loose consciousness and you think the boy is using charms to sleep with you.

    Now, that is the story your husband might believe to throw the guy out and from then, he will be watching you to see if you are truly faithful or a cheater.

    Be prayerful too…this boy will ruin you if you are not careful. What if he wanted to sleep with you for ritual purposes as well? Be very careful and very prayerful…ok?

    All the best.

  3. That charm is not meant for the sex. It is for something else and the bigger the necessity for you to get a solution to this quickly.

    Even without being sex starved, If you put two opposite sex in a room (even if they are enemies) to live and spend quality time together by living alone in a room, something will definitely happen one day. That’s human nature and it takes the grace of God and wisdom of fleeing immediately from that environment when such thought comes into mind, to avoid such from happening.

    You just have to let your husband know and get this boy chased away from that house. You could follow jzhane wise suggestions on how to do that without making yourself feel too guilty in front of your husband.

    You just have to do this. Cos one day, the sexual temptation and urges will be too much, that it will even be you that will open the door for this younger brother to come and have his way inside you again.


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