HomeAdviceMy Fiancée Got Butt & Breast Implants Without Telling Me

My Fiancée Got Butt & Breast Implants Without Telling Me

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My Fiancée Got Butt & Breast Implants Without Telling Me

Sandra (not real name) and I have been in a relationship for six years. I love her with all my heart and we have been through alot together. Our dream has always been to relocate abroad when we get married but God did it, I was able to relocate three years ago even before we got married.

Since I have been here, things have not been so easy and I tell Sandra everything cos we made a promise to tell each other everything. No secrets. Even if one person cheats on the other. Last year, I had a rough period of time and I cheated with a coworker. I struggled with telling Sandra but since we both agreed, that there would be no secrets between us, I summoned up courage and told her.

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Unfortunately, Sandra did not take it well. She broke up with me and said its because we are no longer living together that I have broken my promise. Well, I did not give up, I kept on begging her for almost 6 months. I came back home, I begged and begged. It was then I actually proposed and when she forgave me, we planned to get married in December this year.

Wedding plans have been ongoing and in top gear. My fiancée told me that she has been working out regularly to be in best shape for the wedding. She said she had a surprise for me. That when I see her, I will not recognize her. I got back in last week, for our traditional wedding next weekend and white wedding in December.

And she was right, I did not recognize her because Sandra had gotten plastic surgery for her body. She got a big butt and breasts. I was shocked. I was like: what happened to you? She was like, do I like her new body? To be honest, I do not like it one bit. I was like, why did you do that? why did you change your beautiful natural body?

Sandra said she did it for me: that she felt insecure as a slim lady with flat butt…that she felt, that may have been one of the reasons I cheated on her. First of all, the reason I love Sandra is because she is slim like a model. I do not like women with big buttocks or big breasts.

Besides, whoever did the surgery for her did not do a good job cos, its so big and ugly. I am not happy with what Sandra has done and I told her to get rid of it. Fist, she is saying she will not remove the artificial implants she got because she spent so much money to get them and that it might be risky to try to get it out so soon.

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I do not like what I see in my fiancée right now and its making feel like, she does not know me well enough for her to go and do this to her body without telling me. She said its her body and she can do what she likes. I angrily told her I don’t like it and I cannot be with her like that. She was like: are you now saying we are breaking up?

I told her I do not know but I am not speaking with her until she agrees to fix her body back to the way I used to know her. Everyone is calling and asking what is going on cos since then, we have not been speaking. I feel like postponing the wedding but she also said to hell with me cos if I cannot love her for her choices, then I am not the one for her.

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Well, I thought she said she did her body for me? And if I do not like it, why is it so hard for her to remove the implants? And instead she is telling me to go to hell? I am beginning to think we have a bigger problem…marriage to Sandra may have just started with complications and I do not want complications anymore.

I also do not want people to see me as ingrate after all, she got the surgery for me …to look a certain way for me. I think she wanted to look like the lady I had an affair with or like all these Instagram girls and for me, those girls may seem attractive but that is not how I see a wife material.

Big butt or big breast does not stop a man from cheatings. I cheated because I was having a rough time and that coworker was there for me at the time in a strange country. I am not proud of what I did…I regret that everyday…but I only told her so I can be 100% honest like we agreed…I wish I did not tell her now…I am not happy with the way things are and Sandra is not bulging.

Wedding is so close…can I back out now or should I just accept her the way she is, even though its something I hate so much? Like,….why on earth will a woman as hot as Sandra ever think of getting butt and breast implants…because of what, just to look like Instagram hoes? Now, people are starring at her butt anywhere we go to…wtf Sandra….I am so upset.

I hate what she has done and I do not believe for one bit that she did it for me…that I cheated is that enough for her to make a life changing decision like she has done? How am I to blame here? Why didn’t she even tell me before doing this…did we not agree to tell each other everything?

What I even hate most is the attitude that she is carrying with this matter. That its her body…so I cannot dictate what she will do with her body…is this how she will be talking to me when we get married? I hate that she now looks like a desperate woman looking for attention unlike the nice homely looking girl I fell in love with….oh my God, I love Sandra but…can love overcome this?

Please advice.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. its not the surgery i am having a problem with, its the attitude shes putting up thats my concern. -its not good for a soon to\ be wife. pls think it through well. if the engagement has to be postponed for you to wrap all the body change in your mental state and see how you can accept her in her new body, so be it.
    marriage is for two forgivers. you both erred. so give your selves time to heal and grow .

  2. Don’t just put love into this o. Think and meditate well within yourself and know what you want. This is about a matter of taste and good fit in terms of physicality.

    It has happened already. So decide whether you want to accept to marry her like that or to move on if she insist she will never remove it. The choice is all yours. Know what you can cope with and stand on that ground. If you can’t cope with the big and ugly thing, then back out.

    Nobody fit force horse to drink water o. No let anybody force you to marry what you won’t enjoy during marriage cos na ur own water be that o. If e no sweet, you go suffer am forever or end up divorcing quickly especially with this her non-challant attitude.

    I wish you wisdom in making your final choice.

  3. My dear brother, I read a post on twitter yesterday, go to instablog9ja, a guy never knew his wife did surgery, she asked him for maintenance money, he didn’t understand what she meant until she broke it down, and the maintenance money is more than half a million naira, they have not even started having kids, he didn’t drop the money, he said the bum bum is looking somehow. My dear brother, I dont care whether you love her, pls leave her alone. Go to that twitter page I mentioned, it was posted yesterday, so you will still see it at the top of his page. Peace

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