HomeAdviceThat Single Handsome Celibate Man May Have Dangerous Secrets-Ladies Shine Your Eyes

That Single Handsome Celibate Man May Have Dangerous Secrets-Ladies Shine Your Eyes


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That Single Handsome Celibate Man May Have Dangerous Secrets-Ladies Shine Your Eyes

Please post this anonymously. Men are wicked. Men are scum. Ha…I am shaking as I write this. My best friend is in soup. She has married werey and I cannot do anything about it because I am really scared for her. Please I need all your advice cos I a, loosing it already for my best friend.

So, my best friend Gina and I have been friends for 11 years. Right from school. We have been through a lot: from family issues, to relationships heartbreaks, financial issues and emotional, etc, just name it. She is like  sister to me and I really would do anything for her. I will fight anyone for her. Her friend is my friend, her enemy is mine and vice versa.

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Gina met Iman, her husband three years ago. Iman is totally a f*cking handsome guy. Like LL Cool J, Kobe Bryant kind of handsome. They met at a singles church program and they clicked. Gina was like blown away by Iman. Very tall, dark and handsome. Every girl had a crush on him. Iman was Gina’s perfect dream guy. She could not believe that he toasted her out of all the many hotter girls.

Gina kept telling me that she was in disbelief that no other girl was in Iman’s life. She literally begged the guy to marry her. They got engaged 4 months later. They used to pray and talk all that churchy talk. I was happy for my girl Gina. She even said they were waiting for marriage to have s*x. Like…Gina is my friend, no way she can do without s*x but for this guy, she did it.

Seven months later, they were married in the most beautiful wedding ever. I was chief bridesmaid. Iman’s best man was his best friend. I liked him too cos he was fine like Iman but not as tall. But I had a boyfriend, so I respected myself.

Gina and Iman have been married for three years now. The have a beautiful son: Ian. I am god mother of course. Anyway, it was Iman’s 30th birthday and my girl Gina has been planning a surprise party for the last 4 months. We eventually pulled off a grand birthday party for Gina’s husband. All their friends and family were around.

This time around, I was single and I wanted to shoot my shot with Iman’s best friend. I even told Gina, and she was like:go for it! So, I told Gina to make sure my hotel room was next to Iman’s friend, Jeff. My plan was to do anything to attract the guy who to me always seem shy and cool.

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So, after the party which went into the night like around 3am, I noticed when Jeff went to his room cos people were leaving to go to bed actually. I was flirting with the guy all night, so I was like, this is my night to get down with him. I went down to my room to shower like 20mins after Jeff left. I was in the shower when I started hearing sounds from Jeff’s room from my bathroom.

You know our rooms (Jeff and me) were side by side. You could not hear anything except you were in my bathroom and I was hearing things from Jeff’s wall. Like this dude had a girl in his room and he was f*cking her. I was so mad cos here I was ,planning on showering and coming over to his room to get down with him but this guy already had a girl in his room waiting.

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In my mind, maybe he arranged for a prostitute cos I did not see any girl with Jeff all through the party. I became very nosy. I listened more cos the groaning from his room went on for like 20 mins more until it stopped.

A few minutes later, I heard Jeff’s door open and I quietly opened my own door to try and peep who the girl that was coming out of his room was. And I almost fainted cos it was not a girl that came out of Jeff’s room. It was Iman….Gina’s husband. I was like…its a lie…what is going on here.

My first thought was: did Iman hide a girl in Jeff’s room to f*ck her so his wife wouldn’t know?…you know, I will ride or die for my Gina…without thinking, I burst open Jeff’s door…hoping to catch the girl that was hiding in his room to find out if something fishy was going on…but guess who I see…its was Jeff lying on the bed…and he was stark naked and there was sperm everywhere.

I was confused…I was like…what the f*ck is going on here…Jeff…what was Iman doing in here…I told him not to lie cos I knew Jeff was just leaving his room and I heard all the sounds that was coming from his room. Jeff was like…nothing happened and I was like…ok…let me go and call Gina.

That was when Jeff ran towards me, blocked the door behind me and said, do not tell Gina…that he knows Iman loves Gina and is trying to be faithful but that he caused it cos  he can’t stop thinking about Iman. …Wait o…what did he mean by he cannot stop thinking of Iman? I was like, did you and Iman f*ck?

That was when he realized he had spilled their secret. He tried to say..em…em…no…not really but it was too late….he was shaking…he was caught!…Iman and Jeff have been friends for more than 15 years…so they are lovers? I can imagine they even f*cked on Gina’s wedding night cos the groom and his best man spent the night together as the bride and chief bridesmaid did in the same hotel room.

Jeff knelt down and began to beg me. Saying I cannot tell anyone but he and Iman were lovers before Gina came on the scene. That Iman got born again like 5 years ago and has been trying to stop being gay but that he… Jeff cannot stop loving him. SO, its his fault that Iman got tempted again and they just had s*x only once.

At that point, nothing was making sense. I began to rant like a mad person. I was like: is Gina aware that Iman is or was gay? Jeff was like…Iman is bisexual not homosexual…and that Gina is not aware and he does not want me to tell Gina cos if Gina and Iman break up, Iman would never forgive him. So, I asked Jeff…why would you even sleep with Iman when his wife is just a few rooms away? Why?

I could see that Jeff was an evil person at that instant. He said he was just missing Iman so much and he begged Iman for one more time…just one more time and Iman agreed. Why would you tempt a man that is trying to move forward and be straight? Jeff said something so true: Iman is so handsome, not only ladies fantasize about him, even guys do too.

Me, I did not believe anything Jeff was saying but I told him that I will tell Gina cos my friend deserves to know the truth about who she married. Handsome or not…my friend’s husband just cheated on her a few room away from their room….after she just threw him a big surprise party…Gina does not deserve to be treated this way.

Jeff then asked me: that will I gain by telling Gina and breaking up their marriage when they have a child? That alot of men are gay or bisexual and they are happily married. That I should think of my friend’s happiness and shut up. Jeff promised to leave Iman alone if I do not tell Gina. I made him swear but he seemed really honest cos he was visibly shaken that his secret was out.

You see, since that day…I have never been myself. I have been struggling to tell Gina but what Jeff said maybe true. Cos, they have a child…he may be gay or bisexual but he is a very good husband and father. Why would I be the one to spoil that? But my conscience is killing me everyday…like what kind of man is my friend married to? This is crazy and I feel like I am betraying my friend yet I feel like not telling her is also protecting her.

I also feel Jeff wants Gina to leave Iman secretly so he can have him all to himself. I am confused and angry. I am sleepless cos this secret is eating me deeply. I cannot imagine how such a happy home like Gina’s is founded on such a big horrible lie…what should I do?

Ladies please avoid these tall dark handsome s*xy men who are single with no girls around them…they could be gay or bisexual…shine your eyes ladies…especially if he says no s*x until after marriage…chai…I am so angry.

Men, if you know you are gay or bi….why do you lie to unsuspecting women and still sneak to cheat with your same s*x lovers? I cannot afford to see Gina’s heart broken especially just after the sweet party she threw for this man? oh Gina o…Gina my friend!!! How do I help my friend? Should I talk or keep quiet? I want only the best for Gina and my godson…what should I do please?

Please advice.


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(Note, the names of the true people in the story have been changed to protect their identities)


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hey poster,

    No one can really tell you what to do cos….you know your friend better than anyone else.

    Actually…your options are just two: tell her or do not tell her…I guess you already know that but lets analyze both options:

    1. If you love your friend the way you claim, you must find a way to tell her …it does not have to come from you.

    Thing is, her husband may be or may not be bisexual but that he had an affair with another man…someone everyone believes is his best friend is cruel and one day she will find out.

    She deserves to know the kind of man he married…maybe he is trying to change his lifestyle or sexual preference…whatever the case…he is lying to your friend/sister.

    And be careful cos this could get really ugly. So, you will have to plan this in such a way that it does not come back to you.

    This is a true test of your loyalty to your friend. There is no easy way out but the truth will set everyone of you free.

    So maybe you want to send an anonymous message or set them up and send pictures to your friend or just straight up tell her cos you already said you can do anything for her…

    2. If you keep quiet…your friend may never find out but can you live with yourself knowing what you know?

    Pray about it….consult with a lawyer just in case….find some form of information to protect you and your friend.

    Maybe ask your friend if she would want to know if you found out a terrible secret that may destroy your friendship/sisterhood. Her response will tell you whether or not to spill the beans or shut up.

    Which ever way…do what you feel makes you a good friend to Gina.

    Be careful and prayerful.

    God bless

  2. Dear sister, PLS tel Gina, I mean tell her, take her to a place where you both can talk, and tell her exactly what you saw.

    Ladies please avoid these tall dark handsome s*xy men who are single with no girls around them…they could be gay or bisexual…shine your eyes ladies…especially if he says no s*x until after marriage…..it has nothing to do with tall dark handsome sexy men without ladies around them, also sex before marriage is WRONG do don’t make it look like its good, it is evil. Pls tell your friend. Peace

  3. i think you should calm down and allow things to play out naturally. if lies travel for 20years, one day truth will catch up with it. you may be surprised you ll tell your friend and she may actually take a decision about her marriage, good or bad ,but above all, she might resent you and will affect your friendship. So calm down.
    if you really feel uneasy to tell her, then make it a process.i will advise you give her signs, ask questions, make prayer statements for her, prepare her mind. i SUGGEST YOU GIVE HER A SIMILAR SCENERIO AND ASK FOR HER OPINION FIRST . Dont be too direct, becos you dont know how she ll take it. marriage changes people.
    The way you wrote here shows that you really need to CALM DOWN if youre going to tell her this that you know. Peace.


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