Home Advice My Dad And My Boyfriend Are Disagreeing With Each Other -Please Advice

My Dad And My Boyfriend Are Disagreeing With Each Other -Please Advice

My Dad & Boyfriend Are Disagreeing With Each Other -Please Advice

Hello ma,

I need your advice. I will go straight to the point. My name is Janet (not real name). I am 29 years old. I have been unlucky in relationships for a long time. I was actually in one for almost three years. That is story for another day. But since then, I been single and praying to God that my next relationship must be the one that will lead to marriage cos, I am no longer getting any younger.

Early this year, I quit my job to work in my father’s company. My dad’s company which has been the family business was struggling for a while and he asked me to come help out with the Accounting. The business is struggling and for some time now, talks about downsizing has been going on but some how, we have been managing to go on without really cutting down staff.

I met Mike (not real name) who works in the printing section of the company. For some reason, we got talking, first, just official talk but he was friendly and before long, we became friends. He invited me for his birthday and I also invited him for mine. We got closer and he told me his intentions to date me. I told him I have no intention to date aimlessly cos I am focused on marriage.

Mike agreed that we should see how things work out and that it may lead to marriage. We both also agreed to keep our relationship private cos as you know, I am the boss daughter. It would look somehow that we are in a relationship. Mike is nice and I can say I am in love with him. He may have some faults but he is a good person.

Unfortunately, the section where Mike is, the management decided to shut it down last month. I was worried for Mike so I told my HR to see if they can move Mike to another section. Unknowingly, the HR lady has a thing for Mike. Mike told me that she wanted them to date but he refused, so instead of helping Mike, she actually put Mike’s name for downsizing.

It was a shock to me and Mike when he saw his name on the list. At the time, I was so angry, I cursed out the HR woman and reported her to my dad. My dad was not happy that I was in a relationship with a staff and did not tell him. You see, my dad is a very principled man. He said he cannot recall Mike cos it would seem  unfair to others who got fired. That people would say its cos Mike is sleeping with me that they did not fire him.

I have begged my dad but he says, Mike should be a man and find a job somewhere else. I am not happy with this and Mike is not happy with this. Mike feels like I betrayed him even though there is nothing I could have done to change this situation.

Mike is suggesting that we break up cos he feels if the woman he is going to marry and his future father in-law cannot help him, then he is not sure he will feel comfortable in the marriage. My dad’s point is, Mike should prove that he s not just dating me cos I am the boss daughter. That he should prove his real intentions for me by getting another job somewhere else.

I love Mike but this situation sucks. I really am feeling upset with Mike and my dad. I feel like its male ego disturbing both of them. My dad is right but so also is Mike. I mean, if Mike is going to be my future husband…what is wrong is hiring him back even if his name is on the termination list.

Please what should I do in this case…how do I convince my dad or how do I convince Mike to ignore my dad. They have not formally started a relationship as future in-laws but they are already fighting. I used to see Mike as my husband, now with what is happening, is that still possible?

I do not want to loose Mike…but do you think he is justified by saying me and my father should give him his job back cos both of us are in a relationship? Please advice on how do handle the situation with Mike or my dad.

Thank you.

Anonymous

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6 COMMENTS

  1. I support your dad 100% on this. It’ll truly be unfair to others hiring Mike back plus the dude hasn’t even proposed to you yet. Y’all just seeing where things will lead to.
    Let him suck it up and be a man. Look for a job and prepare to marry you if he really ever intended to.

    This may hurt you but I think he truly doesn’t want to settle down with you. He’s not mature enough. You deserve better

    Your dad did great and he has your best interest at heart. Nobody betrayed anybody

    • Couldn’t agree more.
      Don’t let this ‘i want to get married’ thing enter your head that you now sound desperate.
      Mike is behaving entitled here.
      Let him look for a job elsewhere please.
      It’s not your Dad’s fault. He didn’t mean any personal harm to the guy.

  2. Me I support your dead 101%, if he wasn’t your boyfriend would you have tried retaining him? What about the others? What if it wasn’t your father’s company? He is your man and you can support him in anyway you can, but my dear it must not necessarily be your father’s company.
    You guys should put head together and come up with another plan at least with that he can prove to your dad he’s man enough to care for his daughter when everything ain’t rosy

  3. Your Dad is right and it’s not fair for Mike to react the way He is reacting towards you, it is not your company.

    If He truly loves you, He should realise you have a relationship with your Dad and not says words that hurt but continue the relationship, hussle and look for a job elsewhere, it is not as though He was singled out, the team He worked in was affected so nothing unfair there.

    If he is sulking and continues to use it against you and your family please leave him alone.

  4. You both are not even married in the first place… See ehnn babe, let me advise and tell you truth.
    Your father is doing a great deal of good, let him go out like others that were sacked and prove that he is a man.
    Mike told you a lie about the HR. There’s something they’ve not told you.. use your sense abeg.
    You can’t fight your father because of a man you’re not even married to.. you will live to regret it big.. be wise.

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