HomeAdviceMy Sister Is An Evil Serpent Trying To Destroy My Happiness-Pls Advice

My Sister Is An Evil Serpent Trying To Destroy My Happiness-Pls Advice

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My Sister Is An Evil Serpent Trying To Destroy My Happiness-Pls Advice

Good morning ma,

Please I need your advice. My name is Augusta (not real name). I am 29 years old and I I just got married barely a month ago, I think my marriage is already in trouble. I am so scared and I do not know who to talk to before I go crazy.

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The thing happened like this: I met my husband through my younger sister. Winnie, my younger sister has always been the pretty one in our family. She always had admirers and her problem was how to choose from her many suitors.

Winnie used to really be a heart breaker for many men. They always fell helplessly in love with her, she will eat their money and dump them when the next best guy comes around. We used to joke in our house that on her wedding day, men will be fighting over her. My parents used to warn her to stop her nasty attitude of taking men for granted. Her beauty clearly got into her head.

Winnie and my husband were in a brief relationship. For like seven months. Like a classic Winnie, she was in another relationship while she was dating Joe (my husband, not real name pls). Eventually, Joe got tired of her and he left her. He was broken hearted but he knew he was being played by my sister ,so he left on his own.

On my part, I was engaged for the longest. I kept a relationship for six years. We met right from school. After school, he got admission to do his masters abroad, so we had a traditional and court wedding before he travelled. I was 26 when we got married. The plan was for me to join him like a year after marriage.

However, we started hearing rumors that my husband was seeing someone else abroad, I paid no attention to it cos we were speaking everyday. Do you know that like five months later, there were pictures of my husband and my former classmate getting married on facebook?

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I was so ashamed. Everyone was commenting and feeling so sorry for me. I almost committed suicide. Depression was my best friend then. I got divorced at 26 years old. Till today, he never explained to me what happened. His family, no body even said anything to us. My six years of relationship just ended like that.

I was down and dark for almost 2 two years when my sister and Joe broke up. Me and Joe connected where he works. I got a job there and because he knew me, he used to give me a ride home everyday. We connected over our grief from our broken relationships. It started like friendship but we soon became so inseparable. Joe and I were falling in love.

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To me, I was like…hmmm…this is crazy but  I told my mother who was so happy I finally found love again. The relationship became stronger and Joe asked my parents for permission to marry me. A family meeting was called and Winnie was asked if she still has feelings for Joe and in her typical fashion, she said…abeg, I don’t even remember who Joe is.

So, after it was clear, that Joe and Winnie were done, Joe and I started planning our marriage. It was during the planning, my emotions were tested. Of course, as my immediate younger sister, Winnie was my chief bridesmaid. I used to feel a certain jealousy when I saw her laughing or talking with Joe. I rejected those thoughts cos Winnie too was engaged to a very rich man.

I also felt, Winnie and Joe were just being free and getting along. However, as our wedding got closer, like a few weeks to the date, Winnie started being disrespectful to me. Yes, as the wedding planning was taking a toll on everyone, I excused her behavior not until, she did something and I was scolding her and she spat something out of anger to me.

Winnie was like, I should stop shouting at her all because I am getting married to a man she rejected. I was like…what? Of course, she apologized later and said she did that out of anger. Everyone knows Winnie for her very bad mouth. I forgave her but I still noticed she was like avoiding me just days before wedding. I almost relieved her of her chief bridesmaid duties if not that Joe and my dad said I should ignore her.

Wedding came. A beautiful one. Winnie was still acting cold a bit but she just kept telling me to forget about her, that she is having issues with her fiancé. At the back of my mind, I was afraid that she maybe be feeling bad that I was happy and getting married to someone who she rejected but makes me so happy.

For our honeymoon, we went to Kenyan. We spent a week before we returned. I went back to work and Joe got another job cos the company policy. So, Joe would drop me off at work before going to work. A week after we resumed back at work, Winnie came to visit us. I was actually not at home when she came. But hubby called me to tell me Winnie was around.

It was a Saturday, i went out shopping and when I returned, Winnie was alone in my house, Joe had gone out. He left a message that his boss called him for something urgent. Anyways, I met Winnie but this girl horridly left as soon as I came back from market. She came up with story that she was in a hurry.

When Joe came back that evening, he called me and told me that he wants to tell me something. He said I should be very careful of my sister Winnie because he left the house earlier in the day cos Winnie tried to seduce him while I was away. I was shocked and my heart started beating. I told him I was going to confront Winnie but he said I should not bother cos she is family and he does not want any trouble.

I was afraid but I decided to trust my husband and not say anything. But guess what, I got an sms from Winnie the next Friday saying that she is coming over and she will spend the night in our house. I got angry and called her and told her I know what she did and abused her.

Winnie started cursing me back and calling me boyfriend snatcher. She said I should stop being naïve because she can snatch my Joe anytime she wants cos she already slept with him when we were dating and she indeed slept with him again when she came to our house last Saturday. That my husband is begging her for s*x….that he said he married me to be close to her.

By this time, I did not know if Winnie was lying but then, I remembered we argued before my wedding and she mentioned that I was marrying someone she rejected. I had to call my parents and tell them what was going on. Joe denied that he has ever betrayed me or slept with Winnie since we have been dating.

The next day, a family meeting was called. Winnie did not show up but she kept cursing me, calling me stupid girl. That she slept with my husband before and after marriage. My husband said nothing happened and he is ready to swear by anything I want him to swear with. Joe said Winnie should provide evidence to show he ever slept with her but Winnie is saying, Joe is careful cos they never spoke via text for her to show me any evidence.

When we asked her where she slept with Joe before marriage, she said they had a quick f*ck in his car and they also f*cked in our bedroom. I asked Winnie why she is doing this cos she is engaged and she told me that she broke up the rich man she was engaged to because she was confused when she started developing feelings for Joe. That was when she said she got angry with me just before the wedding cos she started feeling I was taking away the man that could have been her husband.

Ma, Joe is planning to sue Winnie but Winnie said she is standing by her story. I do not know what to think anymore. I am finding myself back in that depression and darkness that I escaped from when my ex husband dumped me years ago.

Like, why is all this happening to me? My family is in confusion cos me and Winnie are now not speaking cos we do not know who to believe. Me and husband are feeling sad…he has been telling me to trust him but I know Winnie…very pretty and s*xy girl. What if she is telling the truth? How do I make love to my husband again if he f*cked my own sister in my matrimonial bed?

How do we resolve this matter, please advice…My mother said I should not allow my selfish sister take my husband, that  I should not leave Joe no matter what cos Winnie is a spoilt child that does not care about anyone but herself. I spoke to Winnie’s fiance and he confirmed that they have been having issues for like two months now …that he thought she was just being her crazy self again.

I really hate this girl…why is she so evil? Its like she has marine spirit. My husband thinks she has a mental problem, that maybe she is threatened that despite her beauty, I am getting married before her…but have I not suffered enough? Why does she want to take away my happiness? Winnie knows what I have been through…why is she being mean? Was I wrong for finding happiness with a man that she claimed she did not even remember?

Ma, I am hurting so much…should Joe and I sue Winnie? My only fear is, if Winnie is telling the truth, I do not know if I can survive the shame  of having to divorce twice when I am still under 30 years old. What do I do?  I am confused, sad and exhausted. I need your help, Please advice me.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. I am so sorry for all you are going through.Your sister is a terrible person.
    My advice to you is to continue trusting and believing your husband. I strongly believe that your sister is lying.she just want to break your home.
    All the best!!

  2. If you believe your sister, you will be divorced for the second time.
    Take your time and rethink back, would anyone who had something to do with your sister call to tell you that she came to the house and also tell that she tried to seduce him that very day?
    Your sister is selfish and wicked.
    Please believe your husband now, stand by him and block your sister off from your family.

  3. Dear Poster,

    Please be strong, you’ll  come out of this issue smiling…

    Let’s do a little brainstorming:

    • God forbid, your sister succeeds in destroying your marriage. Will she keep Joe? My guess, no. She will go for the next catch.
    • You believe your husband, and remain happy in your marriage. How will that make your sister feel? My guess, very bad? Why so? She likes to be in control, and have things her way.
    • Why is she after your husband? Unlike her previous guys, your husband wrote her off and moved on. This is an insult on her ego. So, she seeks revenge. Too bad you’re involve.
    • Being manipulative, showing little or no empathy, deriving joy in inflicting pain on others is a way of life for your sister. Will it be fair to say she’s OK? I doubt. I think something is not right.

    That said, I think your sister needs help (deliverance). Please consult with a genuine prophet. There’s more to this than meets the eye.

    On your marriage, you need God to maintain it, don’t rely on your strength.  Please draw closer to God.

    Your marriage is blessed. Peace.

    • Couldnt be said any better, please dont give your sister the satisfaction of leaving Joe or breaking your home. You can deal with this, holding on tightly to your husband.

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