HomeAdviceAn Affair With My Father's Childhood Friend Is Disturbing My Relationship

An Affair With My Father’s Childhood Friend Is Disturbing My Relationship


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An Affair With My Father’s Childhood Friend Is Disturbing My Relationship

Please keep my identity very private. I was posted to a Northern state for service two years ago. My parents did everything to reverse the posting because of all the insecurity in the North. None worked, so eventually I had no choice but to go.

My dad had to reach out to an old friend of his, a retired major in the army. It was this his friend who worked my posting to the barracks, so I can at least be under the protection of the army. I lived with my dad’s friend’s family house, I was also able to travel back home regularly. I only showed up for the monthly verification exercise.

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This friend of my dad was always very nice to me whenever I was around. He has grown children who were in university but  his wife is late. I came around one time for my clearance/verification and only my dad’s friend was around with one of his staff. His sons were in UK for vacation. We had dinner and I retired into the room to sleep.

Not long after, I was watching a movie when my door opened and it was my dad’s friend. Lets call him Uncle E. I was like, Uncle E what are you doing in the room. He looked like he was not himself. He came towards me and started to feel me. I was alarmed, like…what is this man up to?

I started begging him, telling him that I am like a daughter to him and that my father and him are friends. I begged him not to betray my dad. Uncle E somehow got himself together and apologized for trying to sleep with me. He said he has never been with any woman since his wife died 8 years ago and seeing me around, he noticed he started having feelings for me.

I was shocked when he said feelings. I asked him why does he not want to remarry, he said he cannot find any woman who can replace his late wife but me. That I am kind and very pretty like his late wife. I told him that we can not be in a relationship because of my dad, his friend. He understood and he left me alone that night.

To be honest, I do not know why I did not call my dad to report him immediately. I kind of felt sorry for him. The next morning, he apologized again and told me not to come to his house again because he cannot control how he feels about me. I was like, is this man serious..is he that into me? I am just 26 years old and he is 57 years old.

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Uncle E gave me 100k and asked me to find a hotel when next I come to town. Throughout that day during my clearance, I was just thinking of what Uncle E said about his feelings for me. I returned to the house that evening cos I was afraid of staying in a hotel all by myself.

Jacob, Uncle E’s staff gave me dinner and I went to bed. I had a dream, a s*x dream and it was about Uncle E. I woke up and realized it was around 3am. I went to the fridge in the kitchen to drink water. I guess Uncle E heard the noise I made and he came to the kitchen.

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The man saw it was me and was like, what are you doing here. I told him I had a dream about him. He laughed and said, what was the dream about. I told him what the dream was about. Uncle E just looked at me in shock and said, this girl don’t put me in trouble. He left and went back to his room.

As I made my way back to sleep, I changed my mind and went back to Uncle E’s room. He was in bed, and I went on top of him. I felt this strange power over me. He kept saying no no…we cant but I said, yes, I want to. Uncle E and I became lovers that night.

I stopped coming home and completed the rest of my service year in the state cos of Uncle E. My parents kept getting upset why I was not coming home but they thought I was just being rebellious. Not knowing I was in love with Uncle E. Uncle E treats me like a queen and loves me so much. We both are hiding our relationship cos of our age bracket and because he is my father’s friend. I think Jacob knows about us but he is minding his own business. We hide very well when any of Uncle E’s sons are around too.

It was one of the best time of my life. I was loved by a perfect gentleman as Uncle E. He made me the woman that I am today but we had to end things after my service year cos …mmmm…its no one would support our relationship.

Well, I always wish things were different cos what me and Uncle E had was some real mature love. A year later, I met John (not real name). We met on a flight to Dubai and we got talking. John is a great guy and we hit it off quite quickly. Things are getting serious with John.

I think my dad mentioned my relationship with John to Uncle E and he started messaging me. Old flames are being awakened. I been talking to Uncle E for some weeks now and its making my relationship difficult with John. John is suspecting I am cheating but he has not caught me.

Uncle E wants to me to end things with John because he says he is ready to tell my dad about us. I would very much love to be with Uncle E…if my dad would agree but again, but that probability is so low. I am scared what my parents will think…what his sons will think…Uncle E says we should not be bothered what other people think cos we are both adults old enough to make decisions for ourselves.

I need your advice…Uncle E is now 59…I am 28….now, he is great…kind, still handsome and got some swag but who knows….what if he passes on before our children grow old enough…I might end up being a young widow…I am confused.

Uncle E is my one true love…..mature, kind and very caring. John is young but you cannot compare him to the character of the kind of man that Uncle E is…what should I do please?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Ogidigan.
    Very selious.

    Young girl, please, pray you find your true love and leave that old man alone to marry his mate and match.
    You are being blinded by his MATURE act of love that people his age know how to do very well.
    Find someone you can grow with to get to that stage, not when you “grow up “, he might be no where to be found.

  2. Dear Poster, you claim to be in love with Uncle E that’s undoubted but you’ve started having sex with him which can cloud your judgement so I hope you really know what you’re saying.
    Since you left Uncle E he didn’t fight for you but once he found out that you were with someone he’s ready to fight for your love, this is questionable.
    However it’s not bad to be with someone who’s way older than you but have you thought of the future? Don’t you plan having children? Can Uncle raise up those children with you? Sex and feelings isn’t everything in marriage/ relationship so consider well and make the best choice.

  3. You are simply under LUST, I mean powerful lust. You went to his room, he said no yet you said yes. You are deceiving yourself sister. You have John, yet still connecting with Uncle E, why can’t people just be honest and truthful.


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