HomeAdviceWives Be Careful-A Trusted Family Member Is Driving Me Insane With Lust

Wives Be Careful-A Trusted Family Member Is Driving Me Insane With Lust


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Wives Be Careful-A Trusted Family Member Is Driving Me Insane With Lust

Women sometimes are the root cause of the problems in their homes. My wife is a medical doctor,we have been married for 5 years. When we met, she was very ambitious, she just opened her own clinic with the loan her father gave her.

Its always been her dream so I supported her by not complaining when she neglected our marriage to focus on building her career. When our first son was born, my wife brought in her step mother who married her dad after their mom passed away from cancer. My wife and her step mother are quite close.

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My wife’s step mother (Aunty Maria)is in her late forties but looks like she’s in her late 30s. Aunty Maria was the one that came to help with our son. She moved in and was very helpful with our son right from when he was born.

Like I said,my wife was very occupied with her career…she just built the clinic and she was giving all her time and money to setting up the clinic and attending to patients all the time.

Aunty Maria used to handle all mother duties for our son and even the running of our home. We were very grateful to have a family member who was very helpful with our busy lives.

I took Aunty Maria also like my mother. She was free with us to the extent that she can come to our bedroom and cook for us too.

Sometimes, my wife and I had misunderstandings cos her work was affecting our s*x life too. My wife only allowed s*x once in 2 weeks and sometimes once in a month.

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I know she needed to focus on the growth of her clinic business but I was being neglected the more I tried to be understanding…sometimes Aunty Maria could be hearing us quarrell cos the next morning, she would be encouraging me to be patient with my wife.

One night,my wife and I had a fight about s*x. The next morning she was on call and stayed in the hospital all day. My wife later sent a text that she was also going to do a night shift cos there were many surgeries she was attending to. I think my wife was angry and avoiding coming home.

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I became so upset and went to report her to Aunty Maria cos I was tired and frustrated. I just needed someone to confide in. I poured my heart to Aunty and she was very understanding. She kept apologizing for her step daughter.

We began to be emotional a bit, and she came around to hug me and comfort me. The hug became longer, she was pressing her huge boobs on me. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me.

Aunty held my face to her boobs and began to tell me to relax, that she is here for me. That instead of me to be s*xually starved, that I should rest on her and she will take care of me.

Aunty began to kiss me and I was really hard, this woman exposed her voluptuous boobs and ass and asked me to f*ck her cos she will not want me to be starved and start thinking of cheating on her step daughter.

Aunty made me run mad with desire, as I took off my boxers…she was praising my big manhood, hyping me…something my wife does not do…she began to suck me…something my wife does not do.

As we f*cked, she would say harder harder…she was driving me mad with desire.. I desired her more and more. I came in her several times. It was mad hot s*x sessions.

I felt so guilty afterwards that I started avoiding her after that day. I would rather masturbate and it became an addiction for me. Aunty later called me and told me to stop avoiding her so my wife would not notice and start wondering.

Aunty tried a few times for us to have s*x again and God knows I wanted her so much, Aunty is a woman who knows how to handle a man. I wanted to but I love my wife. Even though she was annoying me ,I was determined to remain faithful.

Aunty eventually left after our son’s first birthday and we enrolled our little boy in a cretche so we didn’t need so much nanny help. My wife settled down a bit and we began to work on our marriage. Things are not so great s*x wise, my wife still is a doctor whos job takes preference before our s*x life but I have accepted my fate in this marriage.

Many atimes, I get tempted to cheat on my wife but somehow I manage to overcome the urge. My wife got pregnant a second time and she is due to give birth anytime soon. And she is now saying that she wants Aunty Maria to come again to help again with our second child.

Well I told her no, that I don’t want anyone to come and help but my stubborn wife insisted…well, the reason I am writing this is because till today, I still masturbate thinking of Aunty Maria. I am fighting with my last strength not to cheat on my wife but you can see she is the one pushing me.

Is it that my wife is so blind to the fact that the husband she is neglecting is a target by other women outside and inside the house? Yes, she trusts me but how do you keep yam beside a goat and trust him? I am trying but who is above temptation? God please give me strength o. Some men will do the unthinkable and not care …its because I am a different man.

Aunty Maria arrived a few days ago in readiness for the coming baby. Guess what, Aunty had wasted no time to tell me, its going to be like old times and both of us are going to have so much fun…she then sent me a nude picture of herself and said we can start early because she knows my pregnant wife will not be taking care of my s*xual needs.

So, how do I keep my sanity in this marriage? I need your help…how do I tell my wife that she is using her hands to destroy our marriage? How do I survive another attempt of Aunty?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Im so pissed off with your story but will be calm.

    You said this

    1) Aunty Maria used to handle all mother duties for our son and even the running of our home. We were very grateful to have a family member who was very helpful with our busy lives.

    2) I took Aunty Maria also like my mother. She was free with us to the extent that she can come to our bedroom and cook for us too.”……HOW CAN YOU ALLOW ALL THESE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    3) I am fighting with my last strength not to cheat on my wife but you can see she is the one pushing me….NO SIR, YOU ARE FULLY AND 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICE NOT YOUR WIFE.

    I will be brutally honest with you, Aunt Maria is a WICKED women and you too, you still allowed her to come stay even with all the sexual immorality you both did, and she cam back few days ago and told you you will continue where you stopped, hello bro, YOU ARE SIMPING, sorry to say but it is what it is, men should hold fellow men accountable like we have always done.

    4) “So, how do I keep my sanity in this marriage? I need your help…how do I tell my wife that she is using her hands to destroy our marriage? How do I survive another attempt of Aunty?”………The way to keep your sanity is by SENDING aunt Maria away TODAY or as quick as you can, Your wife is not the one destroying your marriage but YOU, you committed adultery, so you still plan on surviving another attempt by aunt Maria.

    All i can say is here you still want to sleep with aunt Maria, thats why you blamed your wife several times, yes i know your wife wasnt available and that is why you MUST never have another woman in the house, even her sister or any other lady.

    I wish you know the dangers of adultery, pls read proverbs 5 6 and 7. You are HURTING your soul, pls read those chapters. Pls SEND aunt Maria away and tell your wife all that happened in the past.


  2. Dear sir, know this first. You can’t fight temptation by YOUR WILL POWER no matter how hard you try. “It’s not by MIGHT, nor by POWER, but by my Spirit.” You see?

    We understand your situation sir, but you’ll need DIVINE WISDOM to overcome this light challenges.

    Since you can’t take or look after your own children, someone was invited over to do that and she took advantage of your situation. The mistake you made sir, was talking to her instead of TALKING TO God about it.

    Before you tell your wife sir, talk it over with God. Tell Him you need HELP and don’t pretend about it sir. You need HELP sir. So quit blaming your wife sir and look for solution.

    I leave you with this word from Jesus, Proverbs 19v20 it says, “Hear COUNSEL and receive INSTRUCTION, that YOU MAY BE WISE in your latter days.”

    God bless you sir.

  3. Since upon your wife’s insistence aunty is already in your house, you have to do like Joseph of the Bible and flee. Leave the house for aunty. You can make a good choice where to go to, but leave you must.
    Except you want to fall into the pit of hell existing between the legs of hanty

  4. My dear Brother,

    Your wife has a lot of faith in you, she has not ‘neglected’ her home, she has a high drive for her career and trying to stabilise the new business, do you ask her how she’s coping with the business and challenges she faces and just listen to her go on about work sometimes? That way she’ll know you care and it can warm her up up you. Her libido and s.x drive is probably lower than yours and she probably expects you to understand what she is going through. Are you doing well financially? Regardless, she may just be someone who is focused on career.

    You on the other hand a good man have needs. She does not understand the full extent of your needs and what has happened behind the scenes.

    Does she have an elder Sister from her mum not step mum who can help you break the news of what happened and caution her a bit in love ? Do you both have a trustworthy Pastor that can help? If none of these exist please take your wife to the side , apologise, tell her you do not want what you reveal to break your marriage then tell her the truth of what happened and your desires.

    She will cry etc. it will turn soar first, she may not forgive you immediately but that’s the road to healing.
    I hope her step Mum returns home after this, you both find help in other ways and eventually when she heals emotionally she can find ways to balance out your family S.x life, employs additional resources if she can and priorities on the home as well.

    Please do not suffer in silence just avoiding your step mum in law, this may be a risky painful route but it’s better to save your marriage eventually.

    Think about STD’s etc. do what’s right. Don’t fall into the bossom of you MIL.

    All the best

  5. Those saying he should leave, where do you want him to leave to, and then abandon his pregnant wife and the first child, just because of an outsider?

    It is the wife’s step mum that should be sent packing away. OP, If you can’t come clean and confess to your wife about what had transpired sexually between you and her step mum, then you should be man / bold enough to chase her away even if your wife is against it. You keep pleading and pushing all the blame towards your wife, yeah that is true, but she is not entirely at fault with this new atmosphere you are about to create. I think you just feel too weak to do the needful, maybe bcos you want to achieve your sexual fantasy with that Aunt) that you have been masturbating on). Except you still want to continue having sex with this Aunty Maria, then you should have no problem forcing and fighting to make sure she goes back to where she came from.

    To save your marriage, chase her away. There’s no gentleman way to do this. You have to do it in such a way that your wife will think or feel you have deep hatred towards her step mum even if that’s not true. That will play mind games on your wife head and it will make her to subtly lower her stubbornness on the matter, in order to save the marriage & family.

    Then ¹Get another outsider to take care of the coming baby (but don’t ever get close with the new outsider to avoid unnecessary closeness that will lead to temptation) or ²do it yourself, if you and your wife could handle the baby all alone, then enforce and ensure that happens. It will be tumultuous when trying to chase her away but it is still better than ruining your marital life with adultery. After she has been chased away, then keep working things out with your wife on your sexual needs. Try to read more books on saving marriages where there is high level of differences in libido or sexual urges between partner. Or better still, if you have the resources, seek the help of a sex therapist and discuss your issue one on one with the person, to have more knowledge on how to save your marriage from sexual tension.

    I wish you well.

  6. Dear Poster,

    Thank you for reaching out and being honest about this situation. Indeed it is a dire situation because your marriage relationship and the relationship with your father in-law is at stake.

    I will take a cue from @uche above….your wife trusts you totally but you have betrayed that trust. And news flash, you cannot blame her for your action of sleeping with not just her step mom but committing adultery with the person she trusts most with her most prized possession: her son.

    Aunty Maria has a serious problem. She is a cheat and disloyal and she has dragged you to her filth. You can decide now to out an end to this nonsense or continue to live a false narrative. Yes, your wife neglected you…yes…her s*xual libido is lower than yours but that is marriage for you.

    People should know that no marriage is perfect. You just have to build on whatever you have to keep the marriage blossoming. And then, what you lack, you develop. If your wife is not making any efforts to change, have you tried prayers? Have you tried therapy?

    Your wife is your wife…nothing and no one should change that. You made a vow to God and to her to love and cherish her and never break your promise so start retracing your steps.

    First thing first, you need to tell your wife what happened with you and Aunty before and let her know that you are willing to go to therapy or take any measure to restore your marriage. Adultery is a bug deal but should not be the end of your marriage if the guilty party is truly remorse and repentant.

    I should plead that the Aunty be also banned from your house. Your wife should decide the pros and cons of telling her father about his wife but whatever the decision, she must not come close to your home anymore.

    I pray you and your wife forgive each other with the way both of you have hurt each other. Many marriage went through periods of s*xual dryness but love,friendhship,patience and empathy helped them heal eventually and have a mush better union.

    Like Uche also said…prayerfully seek a spirit filled pastor or counselor or therapist to mediate the communication with your wife. It might take her a while to forgive but if she sees that you are putting in the work to be a better man, she will come around.

    Here you have it, you know what to do….now, stop waiting for another catastrophe to happen before its too late. You can still save your marriage.

    I hope this helps. God bless.


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