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My Husband Says He Does Not Want A Boring Marriage-Pls Advice

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My Husband Says He Does Not Want A Boring Marriage-Pls Advice

My elder brother owns a five star hotel in this rejoin. He is our first son and he raised me and all my siblings because he made money early right from when he was in the University, he has always been an entrepreneur. When I graduated, I joined his company. Me and my siblings have always worked in his company, just to earn more money during the holidays.

On holiday, I worked as receptionist, I met one of the regular hotel guests, a young but well to do man. He took a liking to me and gave me 300k for school. He took my phone numbers and we became friends. I found out he was married but having marital issues but did not want to divorce his wife cos of their children.

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We used to chat and he started telling me his feelings for me. Even though, I had a boyfriend, Kosi was a very caring and amazingly kind man. It was not easy but I was having feelings for him too. He visited me in school and we spent the night in a hotel. That night, he took my virginity. He was surprised I was a virgin in my final year.

Since then, he started telling me about marriage …he filed for a divorce from his wife. The wife moved out and I used to go and spend weekends in his home. My elder brother never supported the idea cos he says he knows Kosi very well. That Kosi is a womanizer. I was scared of what my brother said, so I asked Kosi.

Kosi said my brother should shut up cos he too is a womanizer. Kosi said my elder brother is also a womanizer, so he cannot pretend to be a saint. I wanted to end things, I then realized I was pregnant. Kosi was very happy, my elder brother and family were not happy cos Kosi’s divorce was not finalized but his wife and children are no longer staying with him.

To avoid shame, my traditional wedding was rushed. The ceremony was the talk of the town. The richest and the biggest men came around. The celebration continued till late in the night. I retired to rest in our hotel room cos I was tired but my husband did not come with me. I could not sleep, so around 4am, I went to the penthouse where the party held and noticed most people people had gone to sleep but my husband was no where to be found.

One of the waiters told me they saw him with his friend, so I decided to go to his friend’s room to ask about my husband, Kosi. On getting to the room, there was loud music coming from the room so even though I was knocking, no one was hearing me. Its not even like the door was locked, so I pushed it open to go inside and I wanted to quickly turn back if not that I saw the fright of my life.

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It was Kosi my husband…he had his manhood out and was f*cking a girl. His friend too was doing the same thing to another girl. They were clearly having a s*x party or something cos there were about four girls all having s*x with my husband and his friend. I rushed out of the room in panic and fear.

What kind of man did I just get married too. My brother was right after all. But here I was, married and pregnant. What am I going to do? I locked myself in the bathroom and cried until I fell asleep. I woke up like three hours later, it was Kosi who was waking me up. I pounced on him and started cursing him for deceiving me and being a swine.

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Kosi pushed me off him and said he never deceived him, that its his life. That he does not believe in having s*x with only one person forever. That it will be a boring life. That he is a man and he can do whatever he likes. I was too ashamed to tell my brother or any of my family member.

I only told my friend who advised me to leave Kosi alone. That as far as he does his duty as a father and husband, I should not bother myself with his promiscuous lifestyle which is common to men. She even advised me to make sure our s*x life is not boring so I can always satisfy my husband since he likes variety.

I later found out that Kosi lifestyle is like that. He has women everywhere at his beck and call. And his friend, Obi is his partner in crime. Well, I took my friend’s advice and tried to overlook all these but it truly hurt me every time I think about it. Apart from that, my husband provides and takes care of me and my baby. So, to outsiders, I pretend to be ok, they even praise him for being a good man cos he is quite generous in giving.

When I was six months pregnant, Kosi came to me with the most absurd request. He said his friend Obi and him have a fantasy of sleeping with a married woman together. My husband asked me if I could consider him and his best friend sleeping with me. I thought he had gone crazy cos I told him never. He begged and promised me I would like it, he promised to buy me a benz if I agreed.

Everyday, he would beg and I eventually agreed cos I felt he was my husband and if he is ok with it, maybe if I agreed, he would actually be a better husband to me. I agreed and even though I was scared, I was nervous too. My husband and his friend came over and the whole thing began.

After a while, I became relaxed and got into the groove of things. Both friends took their turns and sometimes, both did at the same time. It was a strange experience but one that eventually was satisfying to everyone. Obi is also married but his wife and children live abroad.

And honestly, my relationship with my husband became better. He bought me a benz, he stayed more at home, he said he will stop womanizing if I can satisfy his s*xual needs anytime. That I should free my mind cos s*x is not a dirty thing as people see it. That any woman who the husband wants to explore s*x with should count herself lucky.

We never spoke of that night again. But he always says that night was special and he will never forget it.  He says he is trying to be a better family man as long as I make sure our s*x life is not boring. Life was normal to an extent. I gave birth to a boy and travelled to the Dubai for vacation sponsored by my husband.

Anytime my husband’s friend Obi is around, I am very uncomfortable. He noticed it and I think he enjoys it. Cos, when no one is watching, he flirts seriously with me. He slaps my bum or even pinches my breasts. I feel like I am married to two men cos he’s been sending sms to me saying, that he thinks of me when he is with other women.

I don’t want to tell my husband about it cos I do not want him to think I am interested in having a threesome again cos I know he would like that very much. I am not a very religious person but is this normal for a married man to allow his friend sleep with his wife? My husband is a very nice man, I just do not know if I can continue to tolerate his friend trying to sleep with me all the time.

My husband and his friends believe that men like variety and so cannot be with one woman. I have heard him and his friends say, any wise wife must give her husband what he wants s*xually so that he will not be bored easily. I do not want him to bored with me cos I fear, he may also divorce me if I am boring to him.

My husband’s birthday is next week. I asked him what he wants for his birthday, he said a threesome. He said he gets turned on, thinking of another man f*cking me and he will be watching. I am told him, I cannot be about that kind of life, and he said he would rather play with me than other women if I agree.

I am now under pressure to agree to this or let him carry on his promiscuous lifestyle. My friend says I am lucky my husband is asking me for the type of s*x he likes, that I should agree instead of him to go outside to satisfy himself all the time. If you were in my shoes, would you agree to this to save your marriage?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

9 COMMENTS

  1. Am not judging you. but u got wat u want. probably that’s the reason his first wife left and u jumped in because of money. I wonder how long u will keep doing threesome to keep him from going out. Maybe from obi to other of his friends then finally u will become a public wife and then he will discard u wen he finds u irritating.
    U better run to God and define wat u want in that marriage. Stop listening to ur friends ooo. I come in peace

  2. What are you saving? Your marriage is gone already. Except what you mean is that you want to keep saving face for the public not to know how unhappy you are in that marriage. Your husband can never change and you definitely got to know about this redflag before entering the marriage but money and his generosity charmed you till you got pregnant. Now you have to keep carrying this cross till when you (or him) get tired of everything.

    You can never satisfy him. One day you will eventually get boring. Maybe that was why he left his first wife. The first wife could also have been trying to cope with this situation like the way you are doing till the guy eventually called off the union (after tasting a new fresh lady, that is, YOU). So one day, he will definitely encounter such again, and that new young fresh lady will take him away from you totally.

    The thing you can do now is to:
    ¹ just keep trying to cope, keep enjoying his money & care until he eventually sees a new lady outside & gets tired of you and then later divorce you. And if you can’t wait for long till that time due to depression and sadness then;

    ² quit the marriage and start afresh again (as a single mother), that’s after asking and warning him severally to stop womanizing or using you for threesome and he still didn’t stop; or

    ³ give your life to Christ and be truly born again. Cos only God can do miraculous things to save this your marriage. Charge up your prayer life and pray to God to save your marriage. But you must be totally committed, dedicated, righteous and holy (that is, I am not just asking you to become only a church Goer or a prayer warrior still living in sin). Ask for the forgiveness of your sins and never be involved in (or accept) those dirty threesome sex again.
    Do that and let the Holy Spirit guide you through the necessary steps to take in saving your marriage, and follow the path with faith and obedience.

    I wish you well.

  3. People are sick out here. What in God’s name is all these rubbish I just read? Na wow….God really has a huge task ahead of him….

  4. My concern is that your friend in question, how do people reveal such things to their FRIENDS, later you will start saying, my friend betrayed me. Please keep your family secret to yourself, your immediate n reasonable family or an ANONYMOUS third party, like you have done now. My advice is that you tell your family about what is going on and I’m sure they will want you to leave the marriage, please do the needful for your sake as money isn’t everything

  5. I am very happy after the successful reunion spell of Priest Adu the love portion was broken and free him from bondage and he came back to his senses, he is now with us again and he no longer sees her. Am testifying about solution temple to show my appreciate for saving my marriage Email Priest Adu for help any type of love spell : [https:// solution-temple.webnode. com] You can contact Priest Adu for a fast solution to your relationship problems.

  6. i dont even know what to say. But things are happening under the sun sha! So much perversity every where ,and this i am reading! Lord help us.
    i am sorry to judge ,but your greed is what is keeping you in the mess youre . what you can do is this, dont eat with your ten fingers. begin to save or start a business. Find a life and quit that mulky waters as soon as you can. It ll be diverstating if the man eventually dumps you (he sure will ) without something to fall back on.

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