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True Life Story: My Husband & His Sister Are Hiding Something From Me-Pls Advice

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True Life Story: My Husband & His Sister Are Hiding Something From Me-Pls Advice

I am in a really dark place. I think I need a break from my two year old marriage, please I need your advise. My name is Sonia (not real name). I am a 27 year old married woman. I married the best man on earth but his sister is evil but I cannot prove it. My husband’s step sister, Ugu has tied herself to my husband financially and emotionally, and this is really affecting our marriage.

Ugu, being the only child from her mother, lived with my husband and his mother after her mother left their father. She grew up with my husband’s mother until she travelled to Lebanon ten years ago. Apparently, she went with someone who promised her job abroad but they ended up using her for s*x work there. Ugu was a s*x worker for almost 6 years before she was repatriated back to Nigeria.

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The family turned their back on her. I heard stories that she is following in her mother’s steps, that the mother too was a loose woman. Only my husband has been trying to help her financially to stand on her feet but all the investments he made on her, none have succeeded. Ugu is living in denial. She wants to live a high life but she cannot afford it. Every money that my husband gave her to start a business, she could not account for it.

When he wants to wash his hands off her, she will start crying, threatening to commit suicide and my husband will be feeling for her and still take her back. As we were planning our marriage two years ago, Ugu lost her apartment and my husband, then fiancé could not afford a new apartment because we were getting married, he decided Ugu stays with us in the same house we move into when we get married.

As a fiancée then, I never liked the idea but my husband then was like, he cannot leave her out on the streets. I understood but told him it must be a temporary arrangement and he agreed. After we got married, I moved in but Ugu refused to respect me as the woman of the house. Ugu never knows her boundaries. She even disrespects me so much.

When I got pregnant, I told hubby that Ugu is giving me too much stress, he did not take me seriously. This girl troubled me so much that I was having a hard pregnancy. I started to dream horrible dreams of loosing my baby and I used to pray against any such but eventually, I lost my baby due to miscarriage at the 3rd month.

I cried so much that I thought this would make my hubby send Ugu away. I was shocked when hubby said I should relax, that there is no need to send Ugu away. I got angry and I fought Ugu that day cos I was like, what kind of hold does this woman have over my own husband?

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In the process of fighting Ugu, she revealed that any woman who thinks they can come in-between her and my husband should have a rethink because he can never leave her for any other woman. I made sure my husband was not around that day cos I beat her with so much anger in me, Ugu began to confess.

Ugu confessed that when they were young, after her mother left their father, she started living with my husband’s mother and she and my husband shared a room. That my husband raped her and took her virginity at age 13. That since then, he regrets his actions and that why, he is always protective of her. I did not imagine this kind of revelation. I told her she was lying and threw her things out of my house. But when hubby came back, infact, he came rushing back because Ugu must have called him.

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My husband was so mad at me, he told me never to think of attacking his sister ever in my life. I asked him if its true that he raped Ugu when she was 13. He denied it totally and said Ugu has mental issues and that is why he feels solely responsible for her. Ugu may have nasty lifestyle, she still behaves like a prostitute but she is not crazy. I know that…

My home and marriage is no longer convenient for me. Who is lying? Ugu or my husband? I am not sure I can ever have peace of mind until I know the entire truth. That is why I need a break…or what more can I do? The sight of Ugu irritates me. I am suspicious of my husband. I am in emotional pain due to the loss of my unborn child. I do not understand what is going on, I need help.

I thought of asking my husband’s family members, but most of them are not around us. They even did not support Ugu when she came back from Lebanon, so I already know they do not approve of her or her lifestyle. His mother is very old, I do not want to bother the old woman with my marriage issues and Ugu.

My mother said I should not leave my matrimonial home because if Ugu, that We should use prayers to chase her but I dont know if chasing Ugu is the end of my issues. What if my husband actually raped his own sibling? What can I do please…please advice me…or should I just leave for a while to figure out what to do?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. Two things is certain…

    Your husband’s step sister has a stronger hold over him than you

    If you want to test this…move out and see of your husband will miss you or throw her out for your sake

    Secondly…the family knows Uju is trouble…thats why they don’t want her

    What can you do?

    Accept the situation and focus on your marriage…leave Uju to display her drama…just ignore her forever

    If you can’t….then, you must leave for your sanity

    This is a toxic environment

    If a man truly loves his wife….he chooses her over every woman

    He chose his own half sister…so what do you think?

    About the so called rape…there may have been sex in their past…whether rape or not…step sister has some deep dark sexual feelings for your husband

    I support you taking time off…to think, to pray and observe

    Whatever decision you take…you need to do so with clear eyes…not an emotional or irrational way

    Wish you the best of all

  2. Leave the house for sometime, you need space, this lady has caused trouble and will cause more to your marriage. Prayer is a MUST here,pray against satanic holds on both of them, i know its hard but if you can pray for Uju, that’s good. Pls be strong sister, you will overcome. Peace

  3. Leave the house for sometime, you need space, this lady has caused trouble and will cause more to your marriage. Prayer is a MUST here,pray against satanic holds on both of them, i know its hard but if you can pray for Uju, that’s good. Pls be strong sister, you will overcome. Peace
    Reply

  4. I think u leave d house for a week to see d reaction of ur hubby ,maybe he will come begging you to come back..u can also do u findings by asking ur hubby mother u can also get some facts from her talk ,who knows….
    But there is something bwt d both of them..

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