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True Life Story: My Best Friend’s Husband Lied And Used Me Against My Best Friend


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True Life Story: My Best Friend’s Husband Lied And Used Me Against My Best Friend

If I am being honest, never have best friends or trust people, no matter how much you want to believe there is good in people, just don’t  be naive like me.

My name is Chiwendu (not real name) . I am 45 years old and single.  I am not single because I am not attractive but because earlier in my younger days, I refuse to be distracted from chasing a successful career in Tech.  Tech is a male dominated space and we are usually very anti social people too.

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My so called best friend who married a fine boy was always having issues in her marriage. The guy was up coming but my friend wanted more. She cheated several times on her husband. I was the one always coming to settle their issues cos am not just  est friend, I am also God mother.

I didn’t want their children to suffer of the marriage broke up. Eventually, my friend left her husband and ran away with a rich older man. She left her son with her husband but she took the daughter who is just 5 years old.

My friend’s husband had a hard time adjusting as a single parent but I was always there to help. My friend too used to beg me to check on her son from time to time for her.I didn’t like it but after like a year,my friend’s husband started flirting with me. He would say he does not know why a very attractive woman like me does not have
A boyfriend or not married.

My friend’s ex husband and I had s*x after like 15 months after ther separation. I thought he genuinely loved me cos he was always professing his love for me.  After like 9 months of having secret affairs with him,I had to ask him where is the relationship going cos he says he’s having a good time with me, I was getting tired of waiting for him to publicly acknowledge me as his lover  but he never did.

When I asked him, he said he considers it wrong to date or marry me cos I am his ex wife best friend and his children’s god mother. He says we are just having fun cos he’s trying to help me since I don’t have a man. His wife has moved on…we are f*cking everyday…why should I hide when we are all adults who choose what we want. He was justing using me, I finally realized.

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This man later started sleeping with another close friend of his ex wife. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it, he just said he is a grown man and he can do whatever he likes.

Do you know this man went to tell my friend, his ex wife that she should warn me cos its like I am trying to seduce him.  My friend didn’t even ask me what happened, she just started raining insults on me,calling me a jealous bitch posing as a caring friend.

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After all I did for these two people, they fuck me over and throw me out like a piece of rag. What kind of friend’s are these? I would never have gotten involved but this man convinced me that he was over his wife and he is wiling to commit to me.

Like I said, I am 45 years old, I will not allow any body to use me just because …I broke up with him last month but discovered I am pregnant for him.  I am scared, I do not know what to do but I want to have this child but the father may never claim him or her cos he says we cannot be together as a couple. He may never even consider sharing a child with me.

Maybe God gave me this child as a consolation. In 5 years, I will be 50. My own child will be born and raised by me. I dont want anything from my best friend or her ex husband but I feel there is need to tell the father …I am just scared of he will react.

Tell me: should I tell him or just quietly raise my own child and save myself from all the drama…my friend thinks I am trying to steal her ex husband, when he was the one who made me believe he was genuinely interested in me.

How will they react if they find out he’s the father of my child…a part of me is even afraid of keeping the child so I will not be seen as a betrayer….but what if I am never able to get married at my age or have a child again?

Please advice me, I need some guidiance on what to do and move forward.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. You shouldn’t have slept with your friends husbands, if for nothing but for the kids, they’ve always known you as aunty and they may never accept you as their mum cause they will always feel you are the reason their parents are not together which will make the relationship quite stressful for you… Well as for the pregnancy @45 i don’t think abortion is best except on health or life threatening issues, have your baby and take whatever comes after one at a time.

  2. At the caption of this story made it look like u did nothing. Why will u start sleeping with ur frnds husband even if they are separated. And how can u deny that u don’t have feeling for him even before they separation and even wanted them to separate??Truth be told u betrayed ur frnd. My advice though keep the baby and move on because menopause is knocking at the door already. Wish u the best of luck.

  3. I think you should not tell him. Have your child and raise your child well. The time will come for him to know. Don’t stir up any stress for your pregnancy sake

  4. I think letting him know of your pregnancy won’t go well. It’s better you concentrate on raising your child and forget everything about your friend, the ex husband and anything concerning them.

  5. Firstly, sex is ONLY for marriage. You need to tell him you are pregnant to him, don’t hide it from him.

    DO NOT DO abortion, it is evil to do abortion, abortion is murder. You shouldn’t have even gotten close to the man, even if you want visit, it should be in a public place and the child should be the one you are with, no unnecessary gists with the man.

    But we humans love deceit, we know where things can go wrong but we deceive ourselves.

    Tell him you are pregnant for him. Peace


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