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True Life Story: My Wife’s Behavior Is Totally Disrespectful-How Do I Trust Her Anymore?

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True Life Story: My Wife’s Behavior Is Totally Disrespectful-How Do I Trust Her Anymore?

Hello Lively Stones,

I need your advice on this matter. My wife thinks I am over reacting but I will try and explain why this matter is disturbing me so much. My wife and I have been married for 4 years now.  We moved into a an apartment two years ago, one of our neighbors happened to be a doctor: a very handsome single doctor and since then, my wife has been behaving weird.

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Well, we noticed that the doctor appears to be a nice guy. Many tenants go to him for medical advice and he is always ready to assist. My wife and I had in the past year, asked him for some medical advice especially during the covid lock down. Then I became worried when anything medical, my wife would start chatting with him.

I discovered they chatted alot with each other about so many things. My wife be asking him about her ovulation and how to get pregnant with a baby boy. And the way this doctor answers her, it seems to me that he is being too raw with her. Saying things like what supplements to use to boost our s3xual experience and all.

Since our first daughter that is 3 years old now, yes, my wife has fibroid which has affected her getting pregnant, my wife now has been talking to this doctor about everything s3xual to get pregnant. I felt uncomfortable and told my wife to stop all the unnecessary consultations with this doctor. She said I was being weird because the guy is asking her the same question that any other doctor would ask her.

Then after a while, they started talking about why the doctor is still single. The guy said because he is too busy to find the right woman. That is how my wife became match maker. She got him a girlfriend. According to my wife, she introduced him to a young Christian girl from our church but they were always having disagreements which my wife ended up mediating.

Eventually, they broke up and my wife took it upon herself again to be collecting money from the guy when she is going for our shopping and cooking. She would shop for him and make bowls fof stew, soup, etc for the guy saying she just wants to help him cos he is single, so he can eat good food.

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I told my wife to stop the nonsense and she said ok. Next thing I discovered was she would secretly order food for this guy. I mistakenly opened the door for the delivery guy who brought the food but she quickly directed him to the doctor’s apartment. I was mad with my wife. And she goes, so I am not cooking for him but why are you so obsessed because I am trying to be a nice neighbor.

ALSO READ:My Wife Broke My Trust & Our Marriage Because Of Her Ex Boyfriend-Pt 2

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So many examples I cant even begin to remember to say about my wife’s unnecessary attention to this doctor guy. But I overlook alot of them just for peace sake. Then the one that beat my mind was that, ,my wife came and said, that the doctor’s told her about one hospital that is doing promo on plastic surgery as their December promo. That she wants to do bbl (Brazilian But Lift). I was shocked, like why do you need a BBL for?

My wife started saying she sees how I like other women’s pics on IG with big but and she knows I will like her better…I told her to forget it. This is even someone that has fibroid and has been having trouble conceiving…she is not even thinking of that…so I told her don’t’ think about it cos I will never allow it. My wife was sulking for many days.

This woman now went to talk to the doctor, to come and talk to me…this mugu man came to see me…in his mind, he wanted to enlighten me about BBL. That its a normal thing these days for women to feel good about themselves. That I should encourage my wife to do it if it makes her happy. First of all, as a man, I do not like plastic surgery. Second of all, why would she even go and tell this doctor that I already have an issues with to come and try to convince me to allow my wife do ‘yansh’.

I feel disrespected as a man and I really am fed up with my wife’s attitude. I told the doctor never to speak to me or my wife again. I warned him that if I caught him talking to my wife, I will deal with him. I also warned my wife to stop all association and communication with him. She didn’t talk to me for a whole day…I did not care.

Since then, I thought my wife has yielded to my instructions, because I do not see them talk to each other again. But just to be sure, I downloaded the clone your phone app and cloned my wife’s phone. I discovered that my wife was chatting with this doctor on telegram with a fake name.

This doctor had the nerve to call my wife ‘baby girl’…how he wishes he was her man…that he would give her anything to make her happy. That the girl she introduced him to is nothing like her, and that is why they broke up. That she deserves better than the grumpy old man that she is married to. My wife’s response to him was love emojis. My wife playfully responds to him, telling him to dream on.

So,  she is not rebuking him for flirting with her….she is laughing at his stupid jokes. I feel every sense of disrespect. I confronted my wife….she started pleading that I forgive her, that she was just catching cruise…that there is nothing more to that…that the doctor is just playful but she knows how to handle him…that she is ready to swear on the life of our daughter that its just all for cruise.

All the rubbish my wife was saying to defend herself is nothing to me. Just because she said nothing has happened between them, its just cruise…am I supposed to believe that? Now, she’s saying she is upset that I do not trust her…well, clearly she cannot be trusted if I ban her from talking to a guy and she goes behind my back to talk to him and allow him talk trash to her?

ALSO READ:Wives Be Careful-A Trusted Family Member Is Driving Me Insane With Lust

Its clear given the opportunity, this guy will f*ck my wife…if he has not done so already. I am so upset and disappointed in my wife…how could she disrespect me like this? My wife seems not to be taking this seriously, saying I am blowing it out of proportion, that she is ready to swear by ogun or anything just to prove nothing happened between them.

Sometimes, I feel like my wife is not behaving like a married woman. I might do the same to her so she can see how it feels…but for now, all I can think of now is going to knock the guy’s teeth out but fortunately for him, he travelled. When he returns, I am not sure what I will do. This is the situation right now…I am so angry, please advice me.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. Oga no try shit with this young man rather blame your wife for disrespecting you. If he had minded her own business this young man will move on. You asked to stopped chatting with him yet she created a fake account just to continue the chat. That alone is a red flag. Use your tongue and count your teeth. Don’t even think of making trouble with that young man rather hold your wife .

    • Oga you have no business with the doctor. It’s your wife you should deal with because your wife is the one who gave the room for the young doctor to talk to her in such ungodly manner.
      A married woman is supposed to listen to her husband when it has to do with things like this but your wife didn’t behave like one who is married but even went as far as flirting with another man..
      Whatever disciplinary measures you want to take on this issue should be on your wayward wife.

  2. But why do people look for trouble with outsiders like this? Instead of dealing with your wife,the one who’s married to you,you want to go meet the doc,who God knows is playing by your wife’s card. She has created that room for the doc and thats her fault. It’s her you’re supposed to deal with. By the time my husband warns me about someone,I can even go to the extent of blocking that person so that there’s no room for communication. But look at what your wife did, creating a fake name and sending love emojis to the same person you’ve warned her about. By now she should be sent back to her parents so that she can learn to respect you. Next time she won’t try it let alone think about such rubbish. What kind of nonsense is this? Next thing your neighbors will start gossiping. That you have failed to put your wife to order. That you maybe lacking In one thing or another that’s why your wife is entertaining another man. Who’s not even far,at least to hide her disgrace but a fellow neighbor.

  3. Also get ready to stay behind bars for a while..
    When you get laid off from work or go bankrupt, that’s when you will realise the foolish girl of a lady you call wife.

    Better leave the doctor alone for your own good.

  4. Oga, wake her up, tell to pack her bag and go see her parents. Tell them what she is doing and leave her there for her sense to come back! You still need move from where you are anyway!tess

  5. Apart from the general advice you have been given, also take this little advice serious.

    Stop checking ur wife’s phone. U will just give urself high BP. Apart from that Doc, there’s no way your wife will chat with people on social media that it won’t make you feel bad cos as she mentioned, some will definitely be cruise to keep the chat interesting but to you, you will always feel disrespected and offended by those things. So stop checking her chats.

    And lastly, a woman that will cheat will definitely end up cheating, no matter how strict you want to be. That was another reason why she created a fake account to continue chatting with that doctor. So stop worrying yourself too much. Warn and threaten her, and stop spying too much in trying to catch her cheating. Last last, you will catch her cheating eventually if she later did. But if you keep monitoring every process till the day she eventually cheats on you, your BP go don top rise to handle the shock when you finally catch her cheating. So sir, your health is important o and high BP doesn’t take time to get. Be wary of that.

    Shalom

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