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True Life Story: My Family Is Against The Woman I Love Because She Is Short & Has Marine Spirit

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True Life Story: My Family Is Against The Woman I Love Because She Is Short & Has Marine Spirit

Hi Lively Stones,

Please help me. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you think its impossible to be in love with someone for 3 years and fall in love with another person that you just met less than two months ago? I am in a dilemma. My family has been on my case to get married since my Twin sister got married seven years ago. I have been in a relationship with someone for almost 3 years. We intend to get married in March this year.

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Then, I spent my last December with my sister and her family in Abuja. The visit to my sister’s house last Christmas has scattered everything. I wanted to spend time with my twin sister and her new born son, so I took an early Christmas leave from the 2nd of December to go spend time with them.

Apart from the family time I enjoyed with my sister, her baby and her husband, I fell seriously for their domestic staff: Joy. Joy is a 22 year old OND holder, who is helping both as my sister’s nanny and her first daughter’s lesson teacher.  My sister has a general house help buy employed Joy as nanny and lesson Teacher for her children.

Joy is very pretty and smart, very good in mathematics. She wants to study to become an Accountant. They discovered her in their church youth fellowship as a bright and promising young woman and since she didn’t have the means to sponsor her education herself, my sister and her husband employed her, to work and earn money to further her education.

I bounded with Joy from the way she carried herself taking care of the baby and even teaching the 7 year old math’s. Joy truly was living according to her name. She was always smiling, never complaining. Always asking me and everyone if we are ok. We jisted alot and watched Netflix alot. She also loved movies like me, so it was easy to relax with her throughout my leave in the house.

I started noticing my likeness for Joy by the second week in the house. I first had a wet dream about her. I have never had a wet dream since I was maybe 14 years old. I thought it was just a coincidence. That day, I almost lost my mind. I found myself physically attracted to Joy. I held her hands and stared in her eyes for so long….lost for words…like a 10 year old having his first crush.

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That night, I dreamt of I was having s3x with Joy. I woke up with a hard-on. I called my fiancée….because I wanted to hear her voice, to help me get rid of the lust that I was feeling for Joy. I had to avoid Joy for two days. She noticed it and became worried that she had done something to offend me.

That made her sad cos she became very quiet and my sister even noticed it. She asked Joy why she was quiet and she said nothing, that she just has headaches. My sister greeted her and asked her to take the rest of the day off so she can rest. Eventually, I could not stand the sad look she was carrying around…I had to start playing with her again.

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Then one morning, the electricity was off so I had to go to the kitchen to boil water for bathing. I met Joy already setting up water to bath the children. She asked what I wanted, I told her water. She promised to help me boil and bring it to my room. When she brought the water, she stayed behind watching me. She was shy but the next words that came out of her mouth was: I like you so much…I have feelings for you.

ALSO READ:How Do I Betray My Faith For The Woman I Love?-Please Advise

I lost my balance….I stammered but successfully told her that I too have feelings for her and I like her. I kissed her and she didn’t push me pack. She began to respond and we ended up having s3x. Without protection. I wanted to apologize to her for what we did but she said she is very happy because since I came into the house, she fell for me too.

If I am being honest, I had the best times with Joy. But I told her I was engaged, she was very sad but wished me happiness. She said she could never wish another woman evil. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every night, we spent together. Sometimes, making love, sometimes just gisting until we both fell asleep.

The day before I left Abuja back for home, she cried and I cried. I wish I had met her earlier in my life. We parted ways but kept in touch when I got back to PH. Since I got back, I have no feelings for my fiancée anymore…maybe I was feeling guilty but I found myself rather chatting with Joy than spending time with Sandy, my fiancee…Since I got back…I have been waiting for a perfect opportunity to break up with her cos she’s too nice but none so far.

To some, I may sound very selfish right now but if I go ahead with the marriage, will that be fair to her as well? Like I said, I have been looking for a way to tell her but none has come. And then, five days ago, Joy sent me a message, she missed her period. She took a pregnancy test and she is pregnant.

This news made me summersault because the thought of having a kid with someone like Joy made me the happiest. This was God’s way of helping me make my choice now. I already began to imagine having kids who will be mathematicians like their mother. I told her to relax.

That same day, I called my sister and told her everything. I did not expect her to be happy initially but she went crazy at me, saying I came to her house to sleep with her domestic staff. That the girl must be stupid if she thinks she will get rich and get into our family by getting pregnant for me. That got me upset, I slammed the phone on her.

After long and hard thinking…I also broke the news to my fiancée…I knelt down and begged her and told her to forgive me but that I have a child coming and I intend to keep the baby with the mother. My fiancée went berserk which is understandable.

However, she started saying that this is the work of the devil so the wedding will not hold after wasting her time for 2 years. Sandy, my fiancée told me that  she does not mind me having a child but I should not break up with her. Over her dead body. That she will be embarrassed if we cancel all wedding plans that are 90% completed. That the worst is, we must marry and if I like, divorce a year later….that I can even be seeing Joy secretly but she will not allow me dump her just few weeks to our wedding.

ALSO READ:I Broke Up With A Married Woman-Now Her Only Daughter Is Madly In Love With Me

My sister is also not in support. She is also influencing my family members against any relationship with Joy. She said Joy is a gold digger…too short for me. She is 4’7 tall, I a 6’2. That she is not yet a graduate, she is 22 and I am 33, she is not my spec…She also said that Joy manipulated me, saying all sorts of things, that girls from Calabar know how to manipulate men with s3x and juju.

Even my sister’s husband told me that he feels Joy has marine spirit because she is very fair in complexion and very pretty. That no man will not think she is not attractive. That even him as a man, that he feels tempted when he sees pretty girls like that but because he prays alot, he overcomes them. Can you imagine what my brother in-law is saying?

Can you imagine all the reasons that my sister and family are giving against me and Joy being together? I am disappointed in what my sister is saying cos Joy is a sweet girl despite her disadvantaged position. I have told Joy that I will be there for her, no matter what happens. She is my Joy. She may not be my spec but I found a whole new meaning to life that I have never had. I am full of hope and excitement for the future with Joy.

My question is about my fiancee … I know I hurt her. I want to own up to my error and make things right but she said she she might actually attempt suicide if I cancel the wedding. That I must give her a wedding and divorce after one year. So that it would look like I was the one with the problem, that if  dump her now, her name will be stained that she got dumped a month to her wedding.

Marriage is a serious matter but I feel responsible for the situation…should I oblige her just to make amends?   Joy thinks its a trap but she is not even forcing me to marry her or do anything. Joy is ok with any decision I make. I have made my decision. I want Joy. But I also feel terrible for my fiancée …should I oblige her wish, marry and divorce later or just face the music and end it now…

I just want to do the right thing. I am not an evil person…maybe I am trying too hard to please others without thinking of what is best for me. Should my happiness and unborn child not count going forward? Mistakes I have made…yes…but its a mistake that has brought me joy and a baby…a family…my family….yes…I only met Joy last month but isn’t there love at first sight?

Or should I throw them away just because my family feels she is not my spec or because I will be embarrassing my fiancée and her family? Do you think I am under the influence of jazz? Is Joy from the marine spirit truly? Maybe that is why I had s3x with her in my dream before I fell in love with her? I know the time of knowing her is too short but I want her so bad…I feel I have to have her…she is carrying my child…I love her…I cannot think straight anymore.

What should I do?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

3 COMMENTS

  1. Two unwise points to make decisions – your most estactic point and your lowest point.

    If I were you, I’ll push the marriage some months further and give myself some time to figure out what to do. Hasty decisions are never the best. Peace #

    • I agree with you. If possible,the writer should disengage from everyone and the whole world so as to take time to reflect on everything. If Possible away from joy too. You can go live with a friend while going through this time. If they don’t know where you work,even better. During this time,you must cry to God to show you mercy. Cry to God to show you a sign. He will surely guide your thoughts and tell you what you need to do. Things may start happening. Events that can’t be explained. Trust that God will be behind everything. Whatever decision you make,I feel you should postpone your wedding. If you forge forth with joy, I think the idea of marrying your fiancee and divorce later is a stupid one. You know how long divorce cases take to be finalized? If she’s nice as you claimed,I don’t think she should make you do this. Maybe after the marriage she may go diabolical,who knows. Anyway, You’re blessed.

  2. Cheating ! Cheating! Cheating! Oh help us Lord! Oga you are wicked, callous and mean,you are not even remorseful for your actions,haba! Oga fear God na,after wasting a woman’s time for 3years, proposing marriage to her and few months to the marriage,you decide to behave in this manner,huh. Joy is not your wife,take it or you leave it,if you marry her ,anything you see,you will face and I hope then you will not send us another story to advice you,so deal with all these sheets now and be free. Are you saying you never loved your fiancee all these while or what? Cos I don’t understand again ooo,you just travelled for one month and boom a woman is already pregnant for you. You have to look for a way to please and compensate your fiancee because any curse she lays on you will work like magic. Be warned and leave Joy alone,allow her grow up and be matured for marriage,don’t force her into marrying you all because she is pregnant,her intention was to go to school,so allow her achieve that. Chaii cheating everywhere,rain just dey fall anyhow.

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