HomeAdviceTrue Life: My Divorce Led Me To Find Love With A Teenager

True Life: My Divorce Led Me To Find Love With A Teenager

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True Life: My Divorce Led Me To Find Love With A Teenager

Hi Lively Stones,

Please do not judge me. I made a terrible mistake because I was in a dark place and hurting from the pain of my divorce after 5 years of marriage. My marriage to Tony (not real name) was supposed to last forever. It was love at first sight. We met on a vacation in Dubai 7 years ago. It was instant connection.

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Tony pursued me with everything. We were both madly in love. We dated for two years and got married. Our wedding was featured in Bellanaija. It was such a beautiful romance. And then, marriage began to make a few things very clear. Not immediately, probably after like two and a half years later.

Things started taking a different turn when Tony got transferred to his company head office in Marina. First, I thought it was traffic that made him come home late but then, when he returned home, he would have online meetings with his female single boss and the meetings will go into the late nights like 2am.

Tony tried to explain that he was in a position that many had dreamed of, so he needed me to understand. How do you explain that your husband is having an emotional affair with his boss? I will be hearing them talking business but laughing and giggling at the same time Next, they would travel for business together .

Another thing was the pressure to get pregnant. I was frustrated that I was not getting pregnant and my husband too was nit even around often for the baby making process. He always told me he is not in a hurry to make babies but since he was always busy, I needed a baby to keep me occupied.

We quarreled alot. Several times, the meeting with his boss would take so long, that it would be her driver that drops him off at our home. I felt disrespected. Then he said my nagging was getting too much so he would not even come home. He said he slept at a short let but my instinct told me he was sleeping with the boss.

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ALSO READ:We Have To Wait For Six Years Before Getting A Divorce-Pls Advise

On our 4th wedding anniversary, I waited until 9pm for him to show up. He came back around 9.45pm…he apologized for working so late . I said ok…so, I told him since it was too late to go out and celebrate, we should make love in the house. My husband told me to my face that he was tired. I told him no problem, then lets have oral s3x instead…some cuddling and some touching, he sad no…that I should please myself with my vibrator.

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Before I could say jack robinson, he was sound asleep snoring. I checked his boxers and there was sperm on it. I took his phone and texted the female boss, just to try something…I said…hey baby…and she replied…sweetie…are you done f*cking your b*tch…you must be a machine o cos me, am still drained from your f*cking earlier on. That was all the proof I needed that my husband was cheating.

When I showed him the message, all he said was sorry…I didn’t mean to, it just happened. The heartbreak was great. And few days later, my husband filed for a divorce. I felt all alone. I felt that no man would want me. Why would my husband dump me for a woman who is not half as pretty as me? I am great with s3x, so I know its not about s3x for him, its about his quest to climb the corporate ladder at all cost.

Our divorce was finalized in one year. I moved into a new estate and tried to start my life all over again. I out myself out to date and meet men. I was in a dark place so most of the men I was meeting were just looking for s3x. I went on dating sites. I was partying and drinking to hide my hurt. My family was worried but all they could do was  pray for me.

My friend Jossy was having her engagement. Her fiancé invited all of us for a surprise engagement. That was how I met Jossy’s fiancé’s younger brother (Frankie) at Jossy’s engagement party. When I sighted him, my feet melted. He was dashing…my heart started beating very fast. The guy is obviously younger than me but he was all over me. I really do not look my age so, he probably didnt think I was older than him, we ended in my place that evening and f*cked all night.

Frankie and I have were seeing each other for about two months without my friend’s knowledge. He told me he was 19…I was scared and told him we have to stop because I am 14 years older than him. He laughed and said, all my lovers have been older than me before.

Frankie’s last lover was 25 years but he never told anyone about their age difference. The issue with our is that Jossy knows the age difference so we could not have kept ours a secret. We know that people will not accept our relationship cos the guy is just 19 years old and I am 33 years old. It was just all for fun but Frankie is very well into this thing. I am feeling s3xy and alive with him…he has the energy and we have been f*cking like rabbits since we hooked up.

I really got carried away because I did not notice my period was late on time in that two months of hooking up with Frankie. I got scared and quickly took a pregnancy test…it is positive. I am pregnant for a 19 year old boy who just graduated from school, no job yet, although he does some online brand influencing that gives me cool cash. I freaked out cos I did not know how he would react.

For me, even though I got pregnant the wrong way, there was no way I am going to terminate this pregnancy that I looked for in 5 years of marriage. When I told Frankie, he was so happy. This guy proposed to me immediately. Frankie is 19 and he wants to start a family with me, a 33 year old woman.

Of course, his family and my friend Jossy are against it. They are calling me names for taking advantage of a young boy. I did not take advantage of him…he is above 18 and he is an adult who is not a virgin. I know it seems wrong but I never meant to get pregnant. I just wanted to have fun and forget my pain. Now, I have landed myself if some relationship that society does not approve of.

ALSO READ:How I Lost The Love Of My Life With A Deep Secret-Pls Advise

My family too does not approve. They say I can keep the baby but discontinue my relationship with Frankie. Frankie refused to discontinue our relationship. And to be honest, I am now 5 months pregnant and Frankie has been nothing but supportive all through the pregnancy. He is excited at being a dad, practicing and rubbing my back, dealing with my mood swings and pregnancy cravings like a matured guy.

Since Frankie asked me to marry him, I did not give him an answer. I told him lets wait a bit but he has been pushing for us to get married. I have come to love Frankie…I hardly remember that he is even 19 years old. The only difficult part of our relationship is our families. They still refuse to give their blessings. They have cut us off.

Another thing that is difficult is that when we go out, young girls, teenage girls always flock around Frankie. He is a young hottie and gets alot of attention. I don’t know how I can compete with that but Frankie always loves on me when we go out, showing me off to everyone that he is my man but I wonder if that will change when we get older.

Frankies dad called me once and asked how my pregnancy is coming up. He is the only who has accepted that Frankie loves me for me. But Frankie’s mother and his brother (Jossy’s husband to be) and Jossy have been sending me nasty texts. The mother called me a disgrace to womanhood. Frankie got into a big fight with her and stopped talking to her for that.

Even Jossy my friend has cancelled me. I don’t blame Jossy. My relationship with Frankie even put a strain on her relationship with her fiancé. She said her in-laws are blaming her for bringing a friend that defiled their son. Can you imagine…they say I defiled Frankie? Frankie told me with his mouth that he has always loved older women, that it was one of his mom’s friend that disvirgined him at age 14.

Their wedding came up and I was not invited. Frankie wanted us to go together but I decided its better I stayed away. Now, Frankie woke me up late at night and told me that he wants us to get married because he feels once the baby is born, things might change. That he wants us to be a family. That his family and mine will respect our decision once they see we are married.

Getting married means alot to Frankie but I do not know if its the right thing for us. I am worried about our families. Our age difference and most importantly, I am worried about getting married and getting divorced again …and go through another heartbreak….its even scarier now that the person involved is a much younger person than me, whos parents have not given their blessings.

ALSO READ:My Husband Younger Brother(My Ex) R*ped Me: Pls Advise

Frankie has assured me he will not leave me. He keeps reminding me that he will soon be 20 and no longer a teenager. He asked us to do a blood covenant but I laughed at the idea cos its so childish to me. Frankie said we can get married in the courts now and do a  wedding much later when everyone and everything is ok with the situation of our relationship.

Please advice me…should I agree with Frankies idea? Will a blood covenant bind our love forever? Please help me decide.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

7 COMMENTS

  1. Do not have a blood covenant and don’t marry that boy now. Have the baby and get a job,don’t marry him,take a break and watch as things unfold. You wouldn’t want to be divorced again,right? Please get a job if you don’t have any,take care of your baby and watch,see how serious he is,then you can now decide if marriage will work or not. But for now,don’t rush into marriage,hold on,be calming down. It is well with you

  2. Don’t get married, yes he is a good baby daddy, let him be that. But don’t get married at all, except you don’t mind whatever happens. Never marry a man because you are expecting his baby

  3. Frankie is just a baby, you can’t marry him ooo.. he’ll get tired of you soon.
    You can always grant him access to his child but definitely you both can’t be married… E get why.

  4. Dear poster, I will advise you not to get married to him, I know you are in love but think of the later things to come, he’s still very young and would want to explore more, can you compete with other ladies, please safeguard your heart,…. If you go ahead with the marriage proposal be ready for whatever comes with it, cos you may be consumed of jealousy later and he may request for a divorce, I just hope you can manage that…….,,I pray it doesn’t come to that, please slow down dear,…peace…

  5. No blood covenants and no marriage. Allow him to continue being there for you for the sake of the baby. He is very young and knows nothing about life and marriage yet…

    Let him be the baby daddy but don’t marry. Got work to do

  6. No family would love what has happened. But life happens and this shows the world is really “turning “.
    please, yOU ARE THE MATURED PARTY HERE, SO TAKE THINGS SLOWLY. The blood covenant suggestion has shown that you are working with someone not as developed in the mind as you are. thus, do not be under emotional pressure as him. More so, family consent is important, remember you are not getting it , thus, another reason to be careful.
    dO EVERYTHING TO MAKE HIM SEE REASONS TO WAIT . What is happening is that ,hes just excited fathering a child. In another four years, he may walk out on you like your ex-husband ,you dont want to experience the hurts again. please be more circumspect.
    Also . if anything goes wrong, you will be most stagmatised anywhere the case is taken to , so you need to be the rational one. Let him be part of the child’s pregnancy stage and subsequent life. but please donot give in to pressure of formalising anything with him. Once beaten, twice shy . Have a life such that you can be financially stable and tell God to restructure your life entirely. Peace.

  7. Hello Sister, I quote you “Now, I have landed myself if some relationship that society does not approve of” ….

    How does “Society approvals” dictates your happiness and blessings? You were single (though, divorced) and found a new love in Frankie. Both of you were happy together…. he’s very much into you and you are now gifted with one of your desired need in your former marriage: You’re 5 months pregnant now and Frankie is asking for your hands in marriage. His father (Frankie’s father) is even caring enough to ask after you and the pregnancy; Except his mother and siblings. Your family also are not giving their blessings….too bad ! I am a family oriented person too but, this is your life!

    Well, in my candid opinion, Go for Court wedding as Frankie suggested. You and Frankie should go to meet his father privately and ask for his blessings as you will go to do the Court Wedding. He will give it !

    Your family will soon come around to accept the facts that this is your life and your happiness.
    Everything will fall into right places at the right time.

    Above all, give yourself to God in prayers and ask Him for guidance. God always come to help those who chose to call upon Him at their trying times.

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