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True Story: How Do I Make My Girlfriend Not To Abort My Child?

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True Story: How Do I Make My Girlfriend Not To Abort My Child?

Hi Lively Stones,

My girlfriend got pregnant in December and this time, she refused an abortion. (We had done one seven months ago). Now, she insisted on getting married cos her family will not allow a child out of wedlock. While I can say I love my girlfriend, I feel like our relationship is too toxic for marriage plus her family is forcing the marriage thing too much.

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We have been dating for about a year now and my girl has always  been talking about marriage. For me, I also want to marry but I was hoping I will do that maybe next year when I am 30 and she is 25 years old. Most of my brothers got married at 30 years and above. I feel maturity comes with age and you need maturity for marriage.

ALSO READ:My Husband Is Against Abortion For Me To Chase My Dreams-Pls Advise

Plus my girl is barely 24 years. She needs to also be ready mentally to be a wife. She is too insecure ane argumentative. Her beauty getting into her head. She knows I have a soft spot for her so she talks to me with so much disrespect alot. And even since she got pregnant, she has been behaving very childish even more. She is a very pretty young woman but beauty is not everything. I need her to show she can be a worthy soul mate as well.

Since her pregnancy, she nags more, calling me at odd hours, asking me where are you all the time, who are you talking to, bla bla bla. Her nagging is making me avoid her. The traditional wedding and court wedding will hold during Easter but every day as we get closer to the wedding, all she does is quarrel and its beginning to affect my peace of mind.

Last weekend, I think her hormones were at it again. She had started her drama, chatting me all kinds of rubbish all day throughout work. I refused to read her messages or respond. Next, she sent me a text, calling me a wicked person, saying I know she is pregnant but I don’t care to check on her regularly during the day.

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Is she the first person to be pregnant? Or is the way she is calling for fight every time that will encourage me to even call her? That evening, I decided to do what she has been daring me to do. Maybe she feels because she is pregnant and I am a loyal guy, she can behave anyhow. I decided to go out and catch fun that night.

God knows I have not been to the club since I left school but this girl pushed me too far. I went to the club and partied, got drunk and ended up hooking up with a girl and her friend. I never has a threesome in my life but I was feeling so frustrated that night, I did not care. I felt trapped in my relationship and having a threesome made me feel free.

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Insult me for having wild s3x with strangers but I already regretted my actions, I was not thinking and all I wanted was just to be free for once. When I came home, I wanted to sleep but Jasmine (my girl) wanted trouble. She started shouting and saying rubbish…I just told her I am no longer getting married and the wedding is off. I asked her to leave my house and the next thing, she fainted. Or pretended to faint…am not sure.

I sha took her to the hospital. They said she was fine…I called her mother to come stay with her and I left. I was willing to pay any amount for her hospital bill and take care of her pregnancy until she gives birth but I am no longer getting married cos its obvious marriage to Jas would be a mistake.

Since then, I have been called all kinds of name, insulted by her mother and family. The brother even threatened to beat me up. But I told them, I am not marrying again. My family members pleaded with me but my mind was made up. Then they started begging, Jasmine begging me that she will change and all that. I said no.

Now, Jasmine is saying she will abort the baby if I do not continue with the marriage. That is something I do not want. I told her if she aborts, I will sue her. She and her family are saying they too will sue me for breaking my promise of marriage knowing fully well that they are Catholics and marrying out of wedlock is against their religion.

ALSO READ:We Have Been Dating For Over 9 Years Yet We Both Fear Getting Married

So getting an abortion is ok but having a baby out of wedlock is not ok for these religious bigots? Please, no one can make me marry someone who is determined to make my life a living hell. If I had to do some crazy shit like having a threesome while engaged, imagine what she will make me do when we get married? I cant see myself marrying her…is marriage the only way?

Please I need advise, I spoke to a lawyer who said abortion is not a crime in Nigerian law and that Jasmine could win if She tells the court that she only got pregnant because I promised to marry her. I do not want her to abort. How do I convince her to have my baby without marrying her? Its my baby too, do I not have a right too? Please advice.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

6 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Poster, these traits by your fiancee are ones that she will possibly out grown. Youre the one to brace up and be strong . Be ready to groom her to grow and mature without loosing your dignity or senses again. How many irrational things will you try because youre upset with your fiancee/wife? see her as a project.except you dont love her. but with her love in your heart, you ll help her grow.
    She cant tie you down with pregnancy yes and the way of threat she and her family are going about things is a NO,No.
    But i just think you can groom this lady to outgrow these phase . However, you need to make up your mind and be strong to do this. peace.

  2. I think you should call her in public and have a heart to heart discussion. Express your love and commitment to her. Tell her you’re giving her one last chance. Any interference from any member of her family will mean she’s chosen her path. Explain to her all her behavior and tell her how you’re willing to be patient with her so that she can grow out of it,but if she proves to be worse as each day goes by then you have no choice but to walk away. With child or not,you won’t care. You’re putting the marriage on hold untill further notice. Btw,she needs to understand that you can’t get married to someone you do not trust. If she doesn’t trust you, why is she forcing this marriage issue? You’re blessed.

  3. I don’t think she is the only immature one. You also are very immature in handling situations. Do you know what it means to be pregnant? Do you know what it means to carry a life inside you and that growing foetus begins to control everything about you? I think you are being unfair in the way you are treating this lady. The lady that will birth that child you so desire.
    Go and beg her and ask her for forgiveness, treat her with so much love, care and attention and stop stressing her. Being a father is so much responsibility, so if you want that child then do the right thing, marry her.
    Change come from the place of love, we you love her, she will become that person that is loveable and kind.

  4. This poster must be bi-polar. Just because she called you numerous times to check up on you, you got pissed off and had a 3some. You are very irresponsible to see cheating as a means to solving a dispute. Jasmine should dump your sorry ass for being wild and disrespectful. When she passed out, you foolishly called her mom to come take care of her and you left. At that point that she was at the hospital was jasmine not carrying your baby? You abandoned her and “your baby” and now you want her to carry the child alone. You need help for real.
    Jasmine should not make the mistake of settling down with a trashy boyfriend like you.
    When real men gets upset, the either communicate with their significant other, pray, work and make more cash or do something positive. But because you are so uncultured you went to the club and claimed she pushed you into doing it. This is something you have certainly been fantasying about and you used that as an Avenue to fulfill your desires.
    You don’t deserve that girl, but a wild girl like you that will end up messing you up.
    I pray Jasmine leaves you and never have anything to do with your weak ass and myopic level of reasoning.
    I usually don’t do this on social media, but your stupid post crossed the line.

  5. There is no point staying in a toxic relationship how much more entering into a toxic marriage.

    She can give birth to the baby and go her way.

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