True Life Story: My Husband Is Obese & Lazy In The Bedroom-Pls Advise
Hi Lively Stones,
Where do I even begin from. I am going through alot in my marriage. I need your help and counsel. My name is Mary (not real name). I am 37 years old, married with two children. My husband and I have been married for six years now. When we first got married, things were very rough for us. I had an Admin job that paid barely 55k per month.
My husband worked as a marketer and his earning was largely based on commission. During my maternity leave for my second child, I got introduced to forex trading and other forms of making money online. I focused on the training and after a year, I began to make money from forex trading.
Within a year, I was making money in millions. Fortune smiled on us. Our life began to change for good. I was making real money. We moved into a bigger apartment. I invested some money too into some property and Agriculture. I am a very industrious woman, my mother was an entrepreneur back in the day. I was not going to remain poor eve though I married poor.
It got to a point that we were making profit of nothing less than 2M in a month. I called my husband, I told him to stop working and go back to finish his master since I was making more than enough for us to live by. I wanted him to get his masters and also help watch the children while I work and also trade forex.
My husband agreed. It was a good plan, he was happy having enough to read for his masters and take care of the children since we didn’t want a house help anymore. All was going well until the problems started. That was two years after. I just realized that my husband seemed to be getting lazier by the day. He would watch TV all day, not read and he kept having carry over in his masters.
As he got lazier, he started to put on weight. He would sleep all day, eat and play video games all day. When I asked him why he was not taking his studies serious, he said, why study when we are already very rich. It baffled me that he began very complacent. He lacked the drive to do anything productive with his life.
Even doing the children’s home work was work for him. I would come back from work and still do the childrens home work. All these made us argue alot and he began to say things like I was being rude and proud because I am the one making money. Funny thing is, I even tried to teach him how to trade and he would not be patient to learn. He lost 7M in one attempt. I had to tell him not to bother anymore.
Now, the biggest issue we had was s3x. He became so fat that he could not do any bodily exercise like s3x. He was becoming obese. I asked him to register with a gym, he refused. Now, he could not last more than 1 minutes during s3x and that really bothered me. When I complained, he would say I am talking like a woman without discipline.
My family and even our friends did not like what was going on. Everyone started encouraging him to loose weight and he would just laugh or ignore. After a while, I told him that its better he goes back to work cos obviously, this arrangement was not working. I told him that I would stop paying money into his account cos its obvious that he is too relaxed and he was harming himself and our marriage with his laziness.
My husband became aggressive. He threatened to deal with me if I stopped paying money into his account. We called a family meeting and the family rebuked me, saying I was growing wings because I was the main provider. Last year, my agricultural investment didn’t do well. I lost some investment, so I told hubby that we will have to cut costs on our spending lifestyle. He got angry and said I was hiding money and lying that the investment was bad.
Yes, I am beginning to think of hiding money cos this man has no plan for the future. he has left his responsibility as provider of the house to me. He said that I caused it. That why did I ask him to quit his job. That nonsense job that couldn’t pay him up to 35k a month? Was I wrong to ask him to further his education and take care of our children? Did I tell him to become lazy mentally, physically and s3xually?
I am tired. I even caught him catching with girls on social media. No, I have not caught him with any girl but he flirts with them on Facebook and IG. Telling people he is an online business man…he does nothing, only eating and playing games all day. I am really tired… my husband has really changed…he has no drive for anything…he is just comfortable eating my money.
My marriage is no longer happy. We need help and therapy but he says he is not doing any therapy. How do I continue to live like this? I really do not know what to do anymore. I am beginning to resent my husband ….even my family is asking me to start considering leaving the marriage because there is nothing he brings to the table in this marriage. Please advise me.
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