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True Life Story: My Fiancé Is Acting Strange After My Family Called Him A Gold Digger

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True Life Story: My Fiancé Is Acting Strange After My Family Called Him A Gold Digger

Hello Lively Stones,

If this is no judgment platform, please post anonymously and advise me as well in this issue. The issue is, I am in love with someone who is way younger than me. The thing started as just s3x but right now, I do not know anymore what the future holds for us.

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The secret is this: Three years ago, my little brother’s friend came to stay with us in our house  in Abuja. Femi (not real name) is his name. Since he didn’t have anywhere to stay for his service year, my brother asked my parents if he could stay with us in our Abuja house.  I and my brother were the only ones living in the duplex in Abuja. Our parents who are very affluential people in the country  live in Lagos.

Femi is a handsome and very s3xy guy. I was already engaged by then but seeing him used to send shivers through my spine. Of course, he respected me being his host and his friend’s elder sister. But we had so much in common, we quickly became friends. We watched movies together, hung out and gisted for hours.

I never knew I could ever loose my guard until one day, we were gisting and Femi was like, Amanda, you are so fine, I am so jealous of your fiancée. I was happy Femi found me attractive. I started lusting after him. I would steadily flirt with him when no one was looking. He would act surprised but laugh at my gimmicks.

I invited Femi to watch a movie with me in my room one day. My brother was not around. The movie had alot of adult scenes in it. At some point, I grabbed Femi’s manhood and began to give him a head. That is how our affair started. The young man was giving me life. I told him no one can find out and he agreed.

ALSO READ:His Family Thinks I Am A Gold Digger: My Family Thinks He Is Controlling My Life-Pls Advise

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Every day was an adventure. Femi knew how to handle a woman. Even when my wedding was just weeks away, we were still f*cking. Eventually, I got married. I snuck out and f*cked Femi for 3 hours on the eve of my wedding. I lied to everyone that I went for my facials. It was supposed to be my good bye s3x.

My marriage to Fred was great but my heart was never truly in the marriage. Every day I thought about Femi. Even when making love with my husband, I would be picturing I was with Femi. My marriage started having problems. Not from me, my husband’s business started having issues and things became a little difficult for him.

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Coupled with the fact that I was dealing with miscarriages more than 3 times. I had endometriosis. Our relationship became strained. We argued alot and he started hanging with other women, he drank alot too. I could no longer cope with his drunkenness, cheating and always quarrelling, I started chatting Femi.

My affair with Femi started again. This time, it was more passionate. One day, my brother found about me and Femi. He was traumatized. He could not believe me and Femi were intimate. He fought Femi and swore to kill him if he did not leave me alone. My brother said Femi practically slept with rich women through out school to sponsor himself. So, he felt Femi is not good enough for me.

Femi denied what my brother said but later admitted and said my brother too was involved with older women too…some even my mother’s friends. Femi said he was serious about me and asked me to divorce my husband because he does not want to share me anymore with my husband. I filed for a divorce. My husband and family went into disarray. My family was telling me its a taboo to be divorced as an Igbo woman but I told them Fred my husband is making the marriage difficult.

Why stay and be unhappy when there is someone else who can make you happy every time? My brother went to report me to my parents when he heard I filed for a divorce. He was so angry with me. My parents too. They condemned us. Called me an adulterer, disappointment, etc.

My divorce was finalized late last year. Since then, my family has not spoken to me since then. My father especially was disappointed. In January, Femi proposed to me. I said yes. But my parents threatened Femi when they heard the news. They told him they will never allow their daughter to marry a yoruba man and someone younger than her who she had an affair with when she was still married.

ALSO READ:True Life: My Divorce Led Me To Find Love With A Teenager

Since then, Femi has been acting less interested in our relationship.  I became very worried. I begged my parents. My father told me that they offered Femi money to leave me alone cos they will never accept him. They gave him an ultimatum or face the consequences if he does not leave me alone.  From what I found out, Femi told them that he will think about it and that is why he has been acting strange.

Confused and disappointed, I confronted Femi. Is he thinking of accepting money to break up with me? Did I quit my marriage for nothing?  Femi said he told my parents that he would think about their offer so they do not harm him cos he was afraid that from the way  my parents were talking, they could do anything to prevent us from marrying.

My brother even said over his dead body will he allow Femi to marry me. That Femi is only marrying me just to belong to the upper rich class. That Femi is a nobody in the society. Everyone is saying Femi caused my divorce and is an opportunist, gold digger.

Now, I am deeply confused and troubled. Will my parents really hurt Femi? They are powerful people and I know Femi is scared of going against my family but will he truly abandon me after all I have done for him?  He is still acting strange. I never knew my parents/family would get so upset. What do I do to make my parents accept Femi before he changes his mind about me? What do I do now?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. The only thing you should do now is to leave Femi alone and move on,I repeat leave Femi alone and move,leave that young boy alone and stay on your own till you are ready to remarry.

    Bia this woman,you should ask for mercy from God oo,you committed alot of attrocities before,in and after marriage.
    You did not make your marriage work ,you did not fight for your marriage,you allowed that Femi of a boy to deceive you into leaving your marriage.

    No reasonable and responsible parent will allow their daughter do such rubbish,don’t you get it?
    No too much talk,leave that young man alone,you just have to try and forget him please. Be warned!

  2. Dear poster, to be honest what you did Is totally wrong, how could you cheat on your fiancé even after getting married you continued that’s bad dear,…since femi got into the picture, you lost your altitude and you also let your guard down…femi made you leave your husband and he’s also causing a rift among your family,…I hope it’s not the sex clouding your mind,, If you feel femi is good enough no problem cos no matter the advice you receive here, you will still do what’s in your mind, I will advice you make peace with your family…..peace dear….

  3. Make peace with your family . Leave Femi alone and move on with your life. Marriage is not all about sex o, hmmm. Truth is, Femi does not truly love you. Youre purely just another adventure for him .Shalom!

  4. Dear Poster,
    what ever relationship would set you against your family would definitely turn out a disaster in the long run. what you feel for the young man is not deeply rooted, you sinned against God n man in the process. if tests of life comes, your marriage to him would not survive it.
    Where do you want to throw your family? these are the people you know and would always , respect their preferences : though its myopic but, your decision to pitch tent with Femi is more myopic.
    Do you want thunder to strike same spot twice for you???
    i wont condemn you for walking out of your initial toxic marriage. youre in the upper class and theres not so much your class can tolerate, so its understadable.
    However, not with Femi! entering into this should NEVER be your next move. and dont resent the poor young man for his coldness, its his life thats in danger here.

    i advice you give yourself time to breathe, heal and see the world. you have the funds lady!
    Please do find the strength and courage to move on. the red flags are enough warnings.
    Peace.

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